


Dance Me To The End Of Love

by Kurtswish



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-09-26 10:07:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 53,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17139788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kurtswish/pseuds/Kurtswish
Summary: While unwinding at a club, Blaine Anderson meets a stranger who promises him one night of passion. When the night is over, Blaine wants more, so does Kurt; but what Kurt offers him is not quite what he was expecting.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas!!!  
> Special thanks to Buttonsandbows5 and DblMalfunction for being the best Betas ever! I'm excited to be posting again after a LONG hiatus. This story is completely written and will be posted daily. 
> 
> Warnings: LOTS of smut ahead.  
> Mentions of sexual assault later in the story.
> 
> Please let me know what you think!

Music beat an unrelenting rhythm through Blaine’s body and he danced, letting it guide his movements. After being cooped up in his apartment for days on end, it was a relief just to let the music take hold, to not have to analyze and perfect it, just to let it move him. It was late on a Sunday night and the club was mostly empty. Small clumps of men were scattered around the space, most drinking with friends, a few taking advantage of the relative privacy. Blaine wasn't bothered that only a handful of guys were dancing. He wasn't there for the men; he was there for the mindless abandon only music could give him. This was what he missed.

Breathless and parched, he finally made his way to the bar and ordered a beer. He didn't really want the alcohol but also didn't want the looks that ordering just a soda or water would earn him. He figured it would also help ease some of the tension sitting in front of the computer had given him. He smiled to himself as he took a sip. It had been worth it.  He was finished- all he had to do was wait for the client’s reaction. 

As he drank he looked around the club, really taking it and its occupants in for the first time. He was by far the youngest in the place. It was far enough away from any of the major colleges New York had to offer, plus most students would have classes once the sun rose. Blaine didn't have to worry about that. As he was taking much needed days off the next few days, he could enjoy himself tonight. He continued to survey the club as he finished his drink. No one really caught his eye, which was fine by Blaine. He wasn't here to hook up. It wasn't his style. 

Just as he placed his empty glass on the bar, he noticed two men who seemed to be looking at him. Both were older but didn't seem that much older than Blaine himself. They were both tall, although one was broader and darker. His eyes were smoky, as if he was wearing eyeliner or makeup. His companion drew Blaine's eye. He was slender with perfectly styled chestnut hair. His milky complexion and fine features reminded Blaine of marble gods, the likes of which he had only seen in books and museums. He was dressed all in black, save for his dark grey vest over his long-sleeved shirt. His jeans looked painted on, and he wore knee-high motorcycle boots. The sight made Blaine’s gut clench with want. Their eyes connected for a moment, and knowing he had been caught staring, Blaine looked away and hurried back to the dance floor. He tried to lose himself to the music again but was having a harder time clearing his mind. He danced but kept looking back at the men. They seemed to be arguing now, but it didn't seem too heated. The dark haired man appeared to be saying something the other man didn't like. He was rolling his eyes and shaking his head emphatically. Blaine wondered what the conversation could be about. He continued to dance as he watched the scene unfold. There was something about the brunette that wouldn't let Blaine pull his eyes away. He looked to be making multiple points against whatever the other man proposed. He was ticking off something on his fingers, anyway. Blaine continued to let his body move, and then he was caught. The black haired man looked over at him and then raised an eyebrow at the other. The slimmer man turned and their eyes met across the space for a second. Blaine’s breath hitched for a moment knowing they knew he was watching, and he could feel his cheeks heat up. But before he could look away he saw the other man smile. Blaine turned his back on the men. He didn't know what that smile meant. He had looked amused, but there was something else there as well. He tried to push all thoughts of the man away.  _ I don’t know why I am so enthralled _ , Blaine lied to himself. He knew exactly what was driving his interest but had made a vow to himself long ago he would not become just another cliche. He tried valiantly not to look at the men again, but when the song shifted to a new one he chanced a glance. The two men were hugging, and he watched and as they pulled away from each other. The dark-haired man looked at him, wagged his eyebrows, and then gave him a thumbs up. 

 

Blaine turned away before the other man could see him looking again, although he felt certain his companion would share what he had seen. He could imagine them walking away, hands entwined, laughing at him. This was why he didn't want to admit his fascination even to himself. He was just trying to decide if he should call it a night when he felt a presence behind him. The brunette was dancing behind him, not close enough to be called invasive, but close enough to not be an accident with what could only be called a smirk on his face. Blaine whipped his head back around, dancing as he thought of what he should do. 

He didn't want to stop dancing. _ It was the music calling to me, _ he thought as he closed his eyes and lost himself to the beat. He blamed the song, too, when he opened his eyes, turned around, and smiled. The smile seemed to be what the man was waiting for as he inched closer. The music played on, and they danced together, Blaine still feeling the music pulsing through him, while the space slowly melted away between the two. Blaine could feel the heat building up inside of himself, and he didn't want to lose it but the intensity was becoming too much, looking into the man's steely blue eyes, so much darker now than when they first began dancing. He turned around and continued moving to the music. He knew he was being a tease, knew that this was only encouraging the man, but he couldn't seem to remember why this was a bad idea. He felt the man's hand on his shoulder first and instinctively moved back, craving to be touched. It had been too long. The man was closer than he thought, though, and he felt his ass brush against a distinctive bulge. It was gone in almost an instant. He turned back to the man and saw him once again a respectful distance away. He didn't look embarrassed, and his arm was still resting on Blaine's shoulder as he continued to dance. His respectful yet confident air spurred Blaine on. He closed the distance between them, straddling the man’s leg and letting him know he wasn't the only one affected. Blaine leaned in until his lips brushed the other man's ear. A hoop dangled from his earlobe, and a rainbow of stars was spattered behind it. 

After one more brush of his lips catching the earring, he said, “I’m Blaine,” before retreating just enough to where they were no longer rubbing against each other. 

“Kurt,” the other man said with a smile. 

They danced closely together, Blaine's arms making their way around Kurt's neck, whose hand migrated to his waist. Their bodies brushed as they moved. Blaine could feel the heat spreading all over his body. He felt intoxicated by the experience. He locked eyes with Kurt, wanting more but not daring to make a move. He needn't have worried because almost instantly Kurt's mouth was on his in a hard, lust-filled kiss. He readily opened his mouth to Kurt, and as their tongues began to move together joining the rest of their bodies, he felt the caress of something smooth and round along with the pliant flesh of Kurt's tongue. He moaned and then pulled away. The smirk was back in place, and Kurt slipped the ball of a tongue ring out from between his lips. Blaine laughed and dove in for another kiss. In the middle of the dance floor, kissing, their bodies undulating to the beat, Blaine couldn't help but imagine the other ways that ball could undo him. 

He pulled away when he could no longer catch his breath. He panted, his head resting on Kurt's shoulder. 

“Come home with me,” Kurt said. 

It wasn't a question, it wasn't a command, it was an inevitability. They both knew it, had known it from the moment Kurt had first approached him, so it didn't take any thought before Blaine was saying yes. 

Kurt pulled back enough to extract his phone from his back pocket. He messed with it a few seconds before announcing, “A Lyft will be here in a few minutes,” punctuating it with another kiss. Blaine lost himself to the sensation until he felt Kurt's phone vibrating against his hip. Kurt pulled back again, taking his hand. 

“It's here,” he stated, pulling away from the dancefloor with Blaine, who never even thought to object. 

In the relative quiet of the street, Blaine waited for his nerves to take over, for his logical side to win and tell him to stop. His hand in Kurt's being led to a car, he never felt more sure of anything in his life. Kurt greeted the driver as they slid into the back seat. His hand found its way to the middle of Blaine's thigh. He gently rubbed his thumb over the seam. It wasn't erotic, it was just a reminder that he was there. 

“I was watching you earlier you know,” he said. 

“You were?” Blaine asked feeling the heat rise to his face. 

Kurt chuckled, “You stand out Blaine. Neverland is usually filled with middle-aged men more interested in drinking than dancing. But there you were.”

“You were there, too, and you don't look middle-aged. What are you? 26, 27?”

Kurt laughed again, “My skincare routine thanks you. Add a few more years, and you are closer.”

Blaine could feel his gut clench again, Kurt was clearly older than he looked. Blaine was surprised he found it so hot. 

He gulped, “But still you were there.”

“My partner and I were celebrating.” Blaine's horror must have clearly showed on his face because Kurt was quick to clarify. “Business partner. We were celebrating our new shop.”

Before Blaine could ask about the shop Kurt said, “But I want to know why  _ you _ were there.”

Blaine felt himself blush. 

“A combination of celebrating and unwinding. Do you ever just need to let go and dance it out?”

“I can't say that I have,” Kurt smiled, “but you were mesmerizing while you were doing it.”

“I wasn’t...” Blaine began to stammer. Kurt cut him off with a gentle kiss. 

“I know, that was why I couldn't keep my eyes off of you. You weren't dancing for anyone else, just yourself. I've never seen anything like it.”

Blaine could feel the car coming to a stop as they kissed once more. 

He looked out as Kurt said, “This is us.” 

He thanked the driver as he finished paying him on his phone and then led Blaine to a door between a coffee shop and a tattoo parlor, with both windows dark. As Kurt unlocked the door Blaine looked at the time. It was after 3. He took a deep breath before following Kurt up the stairs to a green door with the number 4 in brass. Kurt unlocked this one too and led him inside. 

Once inside Blaine's nerve got the better of him. He didn't know what to do with himself. He had never done this before, never been with a man he didn't know. He stood in the middle of the room, playing with his fingers and looking around the space as if it could tell him what he needed to know. The room was bright but bare. It didn't look modern so much as unfinished. He figured that must be correct when he saw a stack of boxes in the corner. His eyes darted around taking in the tv on the wall, the black couch and the cluttered coffee table between them. Then his sight was only filled with Kurt's face. 

“Are you okay?” He asked rubbing a hand gently over the swell of Blaine's bicep. 

Blaine huffed a self-deprecating laugh. “I've never done this before.”

He could see the worry in Kurt's eyes and tried to look away. Kurt's smooth hand stilled the motion. “Just so we’re clear, you've never gone home from a bar with another man, or have you never been with a man before?”

Blaine couldn't help but laugh a little, “I've been with guys before. I'm not a virgin. I've just never been with anyone I didn't know at least for a little while.”

“Do you want to do this?” Kurt asked. He looked so earnest and calm Blaine knew he had made the right choice. 

He gulped, “I do, God, I really, really do.”

Kurt smiled, and there was something wicked in it that stole Blaine's breath in the best of ways. “Don't worry, sweetheart,” Kurt whispered. “I'll take good care of you.”

Before Blaine knew what was happening Kurt was kissing him, running the ball of his tongue ring over Blaine’s tongue and soft palate. Blaine pulled away so he could catch his breath, feeling overwhelmed by the heat now coursing through his entire body at such a little thing as a kiss. Kurt turned his attention to his neck, running the ball along his jugular over and over again, eliciting sounds from Blaine he just couldn’t control. Blaine tried to find something to do with his hands, he needed something to ground him as Kurt’s hands grabbed his waist. They flailed for a moment before finding the purchase on Kurt's broad, muscular shoulders. He could feel Kurt sucking now at the juncture of his neck and shoulder, marking him, and he groaned again with want. 

“Kiss me,” he practically begged. 

As they kissed Blaine pulled Kurt's body closer to him so they slotted together, connecting their entire lengths. He let his hips move, feeling Kurt's hard, hot bulge rub tantalizingly, perfectly against his own needy cock. He couldn't remember being this turned on in a long time. Maybe it was how dirty and wrong hooking up with a stranger always seemed to Blaine, maybe it was this particular stranger. Either way, Blaine wanted this more than he had ever wanted another man before. 

He could feel Kurt tugging his t-shirt slowly up his body, letting his hands explore over the dips and lines they found there. Suddenly the idea of layers separating them seemed like the worst idea ever to Blaine, and he fumbled blindly for the buttons of Kurt's shirt and vest. The vest was the first to go, and he roughly pushed it off Kurt's shoulders to the floor. Kurt pulled back, sliding Blaine's shirt the rest of the way off so he was standing there in the middle of the living room topless and panting with his pants tented. He looked at Kurt a moment, took in the sight before him. The blue of his eyes was almost gone, his pupils blown with lust. His shirt was now half undone and wrinkled, revealing the dark line of a tattoo. His skintight jeans left little to the imagination, though Blaine wondered if what he was seeing was just an illusion of the fabric. He stepped forward once more and slipped the last few buttons of Kurt's shirt out of their holes. He skimmed his hands up Kurt's chest and down his arms exposing his tattoo-clad  torso and a ring hanging from each nipple.

Kurt stood swaying as Blaine reached a hand out and traced over the lines of the bird's wing swooping across the right side of his chest, to the bird’s body cradling  the crest of his shoulder. He fingered over the New York skyline beneath the bird’s tail on his right arm, as his other hand smoothed over the tattoo found on his other arm. Kurt watched him as he took in the art sprawled across his body and threw his head back with a whine, as first one, then another thumb brushed over the rings in his nipples. 

“Do they- do they feel good?” Blaine found himself asking before he realized he words were out of his mouth. 

“God, yes! The tongue ring is for you. But these are solely for me.” Kurt whined again. 

Blaine leaned down and brushed his lips against one ring. 

“Good to know,” he croaked before taking it in his mouth. 

He had always enjoyed when a lover had responsive nipples, and Kurt's responses to his nips and sucks were off the chart and spurred him on. 

Kurt threw his head back, and the noises he made went straight through Blaine. He felt Kurt's hands slide down his back and then slip down the back of his pants and grip his ass, pulling him closer. Blaine hummed, Kurt's right nipple still in his mouth. He flicked the ring with his tongue as one of Kurt's fingers slid between his cheeks, caressing his asshole. Blaine gasped, feeling a great surge of want shoot through him. He pulled back and looked up at Kurt. His head was thrown back, and his mouth was still open slightly. Blaine couldn't resist the urge to lick his way between those parted lips. Way too soon for Blaine's liking, Kurt was pulling back, a mischievous grin once again in place. He moved until he was leaning against the back of the couch and pulled one of his motorcycle boots off. Knowing where this was leading, Blaine quickly moved to join him. Soon both their shoes and socks were discarded. Blaine looked over at Kurt and smiled. 

“Come here,” Kurt said, guiding Blaine until he was standing in front of him once more. 

Blaine leaned in, kissing him as he felt Kurt’s hands brush down his sides before tracing the waistband of his jeans. 

He pulled back enough to whisper, “Please,” before connecting their lips once more. 

The vibrations of Kurt's chuckle made him shudder with want as he felt Kurt nimbly work the button and fly open, wasting no time before pushing them down far enough to finally expose his aching cock. A firm hand was soon grasped around it, sending sparks through Blaine's body. He didn't want to move, but his back was starting to protest at him leaning down to continue kissing Kurt any longer, so he stood up. He closed his eyes for a moment, relishing the feel of Kurt's hand on him. When he opened them Kurt was looking up at him, watching as he pumped his hand slowly up and down Blaine's cock letting his ring catch in the most tantalizing way. 

“Let's go to my room,” he said, removing his hand from around Blaine's dick and holding it out in invitation. 

Blaine nodded but didn't take Kurt's offered hand yet. Instead, he pushed his jeans and underwear off before grabbing it. Kurt made a noise between a laugh and a moan as he led him across the small space to one of two doors. Once the door snapped behind them Blaine tugged gently at the waistband of Kurt’s jeans. 

“I want to see you, too,” he choked out hardly able to breathe, he was so turned on. 

As Kurt unbuttoned his jeans he seemed to be taking in Blaine’s entire body. Blaine was burning up he was so hot standing there in Kurt's bedroom without a stitch of clothing on his body. He couldn't remember ever being as aroused before. It shocked him, his body's reaction, as he watched Kurt peel his jeans off leaving behind only a pair of tight black boxer briefs. The briefs left little to the imagination, and it was clear that it wasn't a mere illusion before. Kurt was big, and Blaine gulped, hungry to see just how big he was. He looked up at Kurt's face, he was watching him closely, almost as if trying to gauge his reaction. Blaine couldn't keep his eyes away, and as he noticed Kurt shoulders move, his eyes darted to where he was pushing those briefs down. 

Blaine's mouth watered as inch by inch of thick cock was revealed. He had been with several men before, but none of those cocks compared to the beauty of Kurt's. It was long, flushed, and thick. Blaine could already feel the ache in his jaw and wanted it more than anything. He closed the distance and fell to his knees ready to finally wrap his lips around it. Almost instantly, before Blaine could raise a hand to guide it to his waiting mouth, Kurt was gone. He looked up at him, hurt starting to cool the intense heat of his arousal. 

Kurt looked down at him with soft eyes. 

“You really haven't done this before. You always use condoms. Even for a blow job.”

“I'm clean,” Blaine said, feeling stupid as soon as it left his mouth. 

“And so am I, but if we want to stay that way, we use condoms. It's not that I don't trust you, Blaine, or that you shouldn't trust me. It's just smart.” 

Blaine nodded and watched as Kurt crossed the room and pulled two condoms and a bottle of lube from his bedside drawer. 

Blaine's confusion must have shown because Kurt said in a deep, lust-filled  voice, “You don't get to have all the fun.”

Blaine made quick work rolling the condom over Kurt’s hard cock, following it quickly with his mouth. Blaine was right, his jaw ached with the first movement, and it was as good as he could have imagined. Kurt grunted above him, his hands finding purchase in Blaine's hair. Not taking control of his movements but flexing his fist around Blaine's curls. Blaine mapped as much of it as he could with his tongue, paying special attention to the head. He wanted to take all of him, but it was impossible. That didn't stop Blaine from trying. He relaxed his throat as much as he could, but almost a fist length remained. His jaw and throat burned with the effort. Kurt was making the most urgent noises above him, urging him on. He could feel his own dick leaking against his leg and that pit of want expanding within him. Then Kurt was tugging at his hair. “Stop, stop,” he breathed

Blaine looked up into Kurt's flushed face. He knew he must look a sight, sweat rolling down his back, spit ringing his plump red lips, and his cock hard and dripping. 

Kurt rasped, “You are too good at that, and I am not ready for this to end,” then tugged Blaine up. 

He kissed him dirtily, as if he could actually taste himself there even though it was impossible. As they kissed Kurt maneuvered him until his ass hit the edge of Kurt's high soft bed. 

“Sit,” he instructed as he grabbed the other condom in his hand. 

Blaine obeyed at once. Kurt made a production of opening the condom and rolling it slowly down Blaine’s cock, clearly watching his reactions. He then leaned in, not intent on Blaine’s erection but his neck. He teased Blaine, kissing his way down his neck to his chest, using the ball of his tongue ring most effectively. Blaine almost screamed as the ball slowly rolled around each of his nipples, sending shocks straight to his cock. When it danced into his belly button, a place Blaine had never before found erotic, he couldn't contain his groan as he felt his dick twitch. Kurt then fell to his knees but still didn't take Blaine in his mouth. The teasing and waiting were doing nothing but building Blaine's arousal, though. Kurt ran the ball up the vein of Blaine's dick to the head and back down again before sucking each of his balls into his mouth, caressing them with the hard metal. Blaine heard himself cry Kurt’s name. His chuckle in response shot through Blaine's body earning him a second keened, “Kurt.”

Only then did Kurt take him in his mouth. Blaine lost himself in the sensation of finally having his cock touched. Even with the condom, it seemed  _ more _ than it ever had before. He knew he was making noises but couldn't have stopped himself if he tried. He felt Kurt guide his legs on either shoulder and urge his hips down until his ass was barely on the bed. He didn't care why, he would have done anything Kurt had told him if he just promised to never stop touching him. He was aware of nothing else except his ecstasy until he felt a sure, wet finger caressing his hole, asking permission. Blaine answered by pushing his hips forward needed as much of Kurt as he would give. 

Kurt was sure in his movements as first one, and then two, fingers breached Blaine. It had been too long, over a year since anyone had touched him there, but his body opened readily to the intrusion. He could feel Kurt scissoring his fingers, stretching him as his mouth continued to work over him. Then they were gone. Before Blaine could protest properly, three lube-dripped fingers began to push into him, earning yet another breathy exhale. He batted helplessly at Kurt’s head who immediately stopped all movement. 

“You okay?” Kurt asked, worry clear in his voice. 

“Too much- I can't- just your fingers,” Blaine managed to sputter. 

Kurt twisted his fingers, and they easily slipped inside Blaine. Twisting and spreading, Kurt worked him further than he could ever remember, occasionally brushing across his prostate. Kurt didn't stop there. Soon a fourth finger joined the others, the burn and fullness more than Blaine thought he could handle, but Kurt was gentle as he stretched Blaine to his limits. 

“Please,” Blaine cried when he didn't think he could take it anymore. He needed to be filled with more than Kurt's fingers. He wanted to be thoroughly fucked. 

“Fuck me, God, please fuck me,” he chanted at Kurt, not caring how pathetic he probably sounded. 

Then Kurt's fingers were gone and he playfully slapped his ass as he pumped more lube onto himself. He motioned with his head as he said, “Get all the way on the bed, and turn over.”

Blaine wanted to protest. He needed to see Kurt, needed to know it was this man fucking him but obeyed instead. 

He could feel Kurt crawling on the bed toward him and looked over his shoulder to watched him. His cock seemed even larger now flushed almost purple inside the condom. His hands brushed up Blaine's legs as they spread, ready to accommodate him, and then urged his hips up. Blaine readily got on his hands and knees, sinking into the plush blue bedding, and arched his back, enjoying the smile and dark eyes the action elicited from Kurt. His hands spread over Blaine's shoulders learning their lines before making their way back to his ass. One then gripped Blaine's hips as the other guided his cock to Blaine's waiting, gaping hole. 

Slowly, he pushed in. Blaine couldn't help his grunt as, yet again, he was opened up wider than he had ever been before. The aching burn of it was almost addictive and reminded Blaine of his first time so long ago. But unlike then, Kurt didn't just impale him, he slowly worked his hips in small thrusts, filling him more and more each time. Just when Blaine thought he couldn't possibly take more, his body would open up, letting Kurt in even further. It seemed like an eternity before Kurt’s hips stilled, finally fully seated. 

Blaine gasped waiting for the ache to leave him. He could hear Kurt behind him panting as well and could feel his fingers gently caressing his entrance where it clamped around Kurt's cock. The ache began to subside when Kurt reached forward and grabbed Blaine's cock, pumping it, making him cry out wantonly. 

“Fuck me,” he said, pushing his hips back, needing Kurt to move. 

“Like this?” He said teasingly, thrusting slower than Blaine thought possible. 

“Harder,” he begged. 

Kurt sped his movements, but it still wasn't enough. Blaine pushed back against Kurt with his hips. 

“Fuck me harder,” he growled. 

He could feel Kurt's grip on his hips tighten as he sped his thrusts once more. There was no teasing anymore, but it still didn't seem enough. Blaine was chasing a feeling that was barely eluding him. 

“Fuck, harder,” he chanted as his hips joined the movement, needing to feel more. 

Kurt's cock was practically slamming into him now, and grunts filled the room from both men. Sweat glistened over their bodies from the exertion. 

“God yes!” Blaine cried, feeling perfectly fucked. 

Never before had he thought he could come without his dick being touched, but he could almost feel his orgasm in reach. 

“Fuck,” he chanted as Kurt made the most exquisite noises behind him. 

Blaine could feel his body tightening, could feel his whole body on the edge of exploding and wanting nothing more. Then all he felt was emptiness and whined at the loss. He fell defeated to the bed before looking over his shoulder at Kurt. He had his fist clamped to the base of his cock, gasping, his eyes closed. 

“I'm not ready for this to end yet,” Kurt said after a moment. 

Blaine had a fleeting thought that if this was to be their only time together, he wasn't ready for it to end, either. Blaine rolled over on his back spreading his legs in what he hoped was a seductive manner. 

“I don't either, but I'm not ready for you to stop. How do you want me?” Blaine purred. 

“Jesus Christ,” Kurt mumbled, closing his eyes again. When he opened them he sighed, “God, the things I could do to you.”

Blaine didn't have a chance to imagine all the ways he could let Kurt use him before he was moving up the bed towards him. Kurt's hands grazed up his sides, catching on his nipples before finding hold once again in Blaine’s hair, and then his mouth was on his in a lust-fueled, frenzied kiss. The weight of Kurt on top of him, his long hard cock pressing down gently upon his own, combined with the spikes of arousal shooting through his body was almost more than Blaine could stand. He was filled with a base, animalistic need to be fucked so deeply and completely, he felt he would blink out of existence if it didn't happen. He grasped each of Kurt's plump ass cheeks in his hands and frantically pulled him in while thrusting his hips, grinding their lust-swollen dicks together and hoping the move would earn him what he really needed. 

Kurt hummed into his mouth before pulling back and asking teasingly, “What do you need?”

Blaine looked up at him, panting, for a moment unable to speak. 

He thrust their hips together one more time before saying, “I need your cock in my ass. Fuck me, just fuck me.”

Kurt leaned his head down and nipped at Blaine’s left earlobe before saying in a husky whisper, “I'll do more than just fuck you. I'll fuck you so I'm all you ever think about when you try to get yourself off.”

“Fuck, please,” Blaine begged, but Kurt was already lifting one of Blaine's legs to rest on his shoulder and lining himself up. 

In one smooth move, Blaine was filled once more. His breath stuttered out of him with each thrust. He managed to lift his hand and tease at Kurt's nipple rings. It only lasted a minute before Kurt was leaning down once more, Blaine's knee up against his chest now, and assaulting his mouth in a frantic kiss that left Blaine breathless, all the while fucking into him with hard fast strokes. Blaine's head was spinning as he felt himself losing control. He knew he wouldn’t be able to last much longer but couldn't imagine this feeling stopping. Soon Kurt was panting into his mouth his hips working at a frenzied pace, and Blaine thought for sure he would come at any moment. Then Kurt leaned back and pushed Blaine's leg to the side so his knees were together, his cock trapped between them. His finger was once more caressing where he was entering Blaine, sending more sparks of lust shooting straight to his dick. Kurt’s pace didn't change, but the change of angle made it feel more intense. 

“God, you're amazing,” Kurt flattered. 

All Blaine could respond with was an uncontrolled series of “fucks” repeated. He felt like he was about to snap, he just needed Kurt to touch his cock. Two pumps were all it would take, but instead, one hand was still touching his hole while the other held him up, keeping at the perfect angle to fuck in so deeply. Kurt shifted slightly, and then his cock was ramming relentlessly into Blaine's prostate. A litany of expletives flew out of Blaine’s mouth as his whole body seemed to burn for an instant, and then he was filling the condom encasing his still untouched dick. Nevertheless, Kurt fucked into him faster and harder than Blaine had ever been fucked before. Just when he didn't think he could take it anymore Kurt stilled for a moment, a choked cry leaving his lips as he came deep inside Blaine. His hips stuttered hitting Blaine's prostate four more times before he stilled completely, laying over Blaine. 

A moment later Blaine felt him pull out. His hole fluttering around the emptiness, he already missed the full feeling Kurt had given him as he lay there trying to catch his breath, his mind numb to all else except that Kurt had kept his promise. He wouldn't soon forget such a thorough fuck. It was sure to dominate his fantasies for years to come. He vaguely realized that Kurt was moving him and disposing of both their condoms but couldn't muster himself to move beyond that. All he wanted to do was sleep, then his brain caught up with him. This was a one night stand; surely he couldn't expect to crash here. 

“I should probably go,” he said, yet not moving, still trying to will himself to get up. 

He felt a gentle hand on his arm. “It's late. You can stay if you want.”

Blaine chuckled. “Thanks, because I am not entirely sure I could move now, anyway.”

Kurt's soft laughter joined his. “Well, you at least need to move so we can get under the covers.” 

Together they worked the covers down the bed and then slipped in, side-by-side . Blaine turned over so he was facing the wall instead of Kurt. Now that he was no longer being led by lust, he missed the prospect of being able to cuddle after. He felt the bed shift, and then Kurt's hand was gently rubbing over his chest before pulling him closer. Blaine didn't want to resist, so he didn't. He let Kurt slot their bodies together, and he sighed at the movement. His body was relaxing into the soft bed, and he could just feel the lure of sleep when Kurt whispered behind him. 

“You know this doesn't have to be a one-time thing?”

“Really?” Blaine asked knowing that the hopefulness he felt was evident in his voice. 

Kurt kissed his neck, “Really. We can talk about it in the morning if you want.” 

“Ok,” Blaine sighed before letting sleep overtake his exhausted body.

An ache in his bladder awoke Blaine. He laid there a moment not wanting to leave the comfort of the bed. He really wanted to drift back to sleep but the insistent nagging in his bladder wouldn't let him. He carefully extracted himself out of bed, gently moving Kurt's arm from around his chest trying not to wake him. He shuffled across the room, still groggy with sleep, and made his way to the other door he had spied the night before. Just as he suspected it was the bathroom. Once his bladder was empty and his hands washed, he started to make his way back to the room, not ready to be fully awake or to face any consequences the previous night might have. 

When he opened the bathroom door, however, he heard a faint familiar tune wafting from the living room. It was his boss, Kevin's, ringtone. He hurried to the pile of clothes still scattered behind the couch and answered it before it could go to voicemail. 

“Finally,” Kevin said down the line, “I've been trying to reach you for an hour.” 

Blaine looked around for a clock but saw none, “Sorry, I was sleeping,” he said. 

He could tell that Kevin, a usually even-tempered man, was not happy. “The files you sent last night were corrupted. I need them right away. The client will be here in two hours, and I still haven't had a chance to review them.”

“Shit,” Blaine spat, grabbing his pants and hastily stuffing his legs in them, trying not to drop the phone. “I'm not at home.”

He pulled his phone away long enough to pull his shirt over his head but could still hear Kevin say, “Not home? Dammit, Blaine, I need those files.”

Blaine hastily pulled on his shoes while scanning the floor for anything he might have missed. “I know, I'm on my way home right now,” he said pulling the door closed behind him. 

Kevin was still berating him over the line and Blaine just listened to his rant as he silently prayed a cab would appear. He turned the corner, and as luck would have it, a woman was exiting one just up the street. Blaine hurried up to it and smiled briefly to the lady as he waited for her to clear the door then jumped in and gave his address. “How long will it take?” Blaine asked the driver, hoping that he wasn't too far from home. 

“Fifteen, twenty minutes tops,” he replied. 

“Listen, Kevin,” Blaine interrupted “I will be home in twenty minutes. I know I have good files at home. I will drop them in Dropbox and then haul ass to the office with the originals. I don't know what happened, but I know my files are fine.”

Kevin sighed over the line, “Blaine, you know I'm in your corner, but if we don't have those files within the hour, I don't know if I can go to bat for you again. This is your first real chance. You may not get another.” 

Blaine felt like ice was filling his belly. “I know, I'll fix this.”

It wasn't until the files were finally uploaded and he was in another cab on his way to work, that Blaine had a moment to think. He had run out of Kurt's apartment with no way to contact him, his suggestion of it being more than a one night stand was gone, and he probably thought Blaine was the biggest jackass on the planet. 

Between that and maybe blowing his first big solo project at work, a feeling of sick dread filled him, his buoyant, free feeling from the night before gone. He just had to hope that he wouldn't get fired. It was the only silver lining he could think of. 

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Blaine was having a horrible day, there was no doubt. In truth, he was having a horrible week. Even though everything had worked out and the client had been overjoyed with his work, Kevin and his other bosses were still making sure he learned his lesson. Not only had they refused to give him the lead on the next project, but they were also treating him no better than an intern. More than a week later, he had hoped for a new project in which he would at least be allowed a hands-on role, even if supervised. But instead of sitting in on the meeting, he was sent out for coffee.

Blaine hated disappointing people, and his mood suffered for it. He moped in line as he waited to give the barista the extensive order, his head hung trying to think of a way to fix the situation. He couldn't come up with anything besides taking his punishment with a smile. To do that he would have to force himself out of his slump. When he got to the counter he raised his head and smiled, feigning happiness he didn't feel as he ordered. He knew it would be a long wait, so he looked around the small shop, trying to find something to interest him in this all too familiar space.

That was when he saw him. Tucked into a corner, a laptop open in front of him and a sketch pad in his hand, sat Kurt, another reason for his funk. He wasn't sure how his presence would be received by the other man. He had left with no way to contact him but also wasn't sure how honest Kurt was being when he said it didn't have to be a one-time thing. Maybe he was just saying that because he knew it was what Blaine wanted to hear. Regardless, Blaine couldn't let this opportunity pass him by. Kurt may tell him to go away, but if he didn't try he would never know if there could be something more. He squared his shoulders and crossed the space. Kurt's head didn't rise when he stood in front of him. He wasn't sure what to say but settled just on Kurt's name.

Kurt looked up, and Blaine could see the shock in his eyes for a moment.

“Hey, Blaine,” he said evenly.

“It is really good to see you,” Blaine tried.

Kurt raised an eyebrow at him. “Is it?” he asked.

“Really, it is,” he said. Hoping to win Kurt over with his honesty, he added, “I am so sorry for the other day. I got up to go to the bathroom, and my phone was going crazy with an emergency at work. I rushed out of there before I had a second to think. Only when it was too late did I realize that I had no way of contacting you again. I even tried to go back to Neverland a couple of times but you were never there.”

Kurt laughed. It was a pleasant sound that eased some of Blaine's anxiety.

“Oh god, we never go there anymore it was a one-off that we were even there last week.”

“May I sit?” Blaine asked.

Kurt smiled apologetically, “Sorry, I'm waiting on someone.”

“A date?” Blaine asked before he could stop himself.

“God, no,” Kurt said. Blaine wasn't sure what to think about his scandalized tone. “It's an interview. We are looking for people for the shop. He should be here pretty soon.”

Blaine rubbed the back of his neck feeling awkward again. “Oh, well- I guess I should leave you to it then.”

“Are you free later? It should only take an hour or so.” Kurt said looking at him with his piercing eyes.

“I have to go back to work.” Blaine frowned.

“Here,” Kurt said pulling a card from the bag on the chair beside him. He flipped it over and wrote as he said, “Here is my number. When you get off, text me, and you can come back to my place.” He flipped the card over and handed it to Blaine, who was too stunned to speak. “Here is the address of the shop, and my apartment is just upstairs. Number 4. I'll buzz you in when you get there.”

“I don't know how late it will be,” he stammered.

Kurt shook his head with a coy smile, “Doesn't matter, I'm a night owl. And if memory serves correctly, you are worth staying up for.”

“Okay,” Blaine smiled, still feeling shell-shocked. He heard the barista call his name and saw the two drink carriers waiting for him on the bar. “My order’s ready. I guess I will see you later,” he added breathlessly.

“I guess you will,” Kurt almost purred.

Blaine wasn't sure how he made his legs carry him out of the coffee shop, but somehow he made his way back to work all drinks intact. Back at his desk, he took out the card he had stuffed in his pocket. _Starving Artist Tattoo,_ it read in big black letters, a raven atop the T. Beneath that was the name, Kurt Hummel, Tattoo Artist. Blaine couldn't help picturing Kurt's porcelain skin, embellished with its beautiful artwork. He had to force his mind back to his work even as his heart sped at the thought. His mind continued to stray as he sent emails and completed the rest of the tasks Kevin assigned. It was late before Kevin let him go but not before assuring Blaine that his punishment was over.

“I had to wait until you stopped moping.” He told him as they walked out. “In this industry, you can't let one mistake get you down. You have to take charge, fix it, and move on. If you don't, no one will trust you again. I was impressed because you did the first two spectacularly. But you wouldn't let yourself move on, so I couldn't let you, either. Maybe next time we can just leave the coffee runs to the actual interns.”

Blaine's stomach churned in anticipation as he made his way across New York to Hell's Kitchen. As he approached the address on the card, things began to look familiar. The dark tattoo shop sat on the corner, and his heart leaped into his throat. There was the door. He pushed the button for number four, and without a word from Kurt he heard the door click open. Up the stairs he went, and Kurt was waiting for him in his doorway. He was clearly in his pajamas and Blaine wasn't sure what to make of that. Still, he looked nice in a black Henley and low slung black pajama pants. “You made good time,” Kurt smiled holding his hand out. Blaine took it only to be pulled into a lustful kiss. He pulled back in surprise.

“You okay?” Kurt asked looking concerned.

Blaine smiled, “Yea, just wasn't expecting that.”

Kurt stepped aside and gestured for Blaine to enter. “Sorry, I shouldn't have assumed …”

“No, it's fine, I guess I just wasn't sure what to expect.” He said honestly.

Kurt smiled a little sadly.

“Maybe we should make sure we are on the same page first. You want some coffee, and we can talk?”

He gestured for Blaine to sit on the couch while he busied himself in the little kitchenette nearby. The silence was bothering Blaine. He felt like he had made a terrible misstep but wasn't sure what he could have done. Before he could work up the nerve to ask, Kurt was setting two cups of coffee on the cluttered coffee table along with creamer and a bowl of sugar. The silence lingered as they fixed their drinks.

Kurt leaned back facing Blaine, took a long sip of his drink, then said, “I'm not looking for a boyfriend. I'm sorry if I wasn't clearer on that earlier. I'm not looking for a relationship or anything like that. If you are, then I'm sorry I can't give that to you. What I can give you though is exactly what we had the other night. A good fuck with none of the complications.”

Blaine wasn't sure what to think. This wasn't what he imagined “more” with Kurt would be. He would be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed that the option wasn't there. He was, however, intrigued.

“What exactly do you mean?”

Kurt smiled seeing that Blaine wasn't completely ruling it out.

“I mean, if you are horny and want to get together, you can call or text me, and if I am free we will make it work. And I can do the same.”

Blaine sat looking at Kurt for a moment, his lungs feeling as if they couldn't take in enough oxygen to power his brain. He could feel the familiar heat starting to build and knew he had his answer. He surged forward capturing Kurt’s lips in a surprise kiss as he tangled his fingers in the hair at the base of his neck.

Kurt pulled back just enough to say, their lips brushing with the exchange, “I'll take that as a yes?”

“Fuck, as if I could say no,” Blaine whispered, “I haven't been so well screwed in ages.”

Kurt chuckled a deep, hungry sound before owning Blaine's mouth with his. He wasted no more time on pretense and soon they were both naked, grinding and kissing, sprawled across Kurt's couch. Blaine's body was begging for more, but his brain couldn't form more than the grunts, moans and keens that fell from his lips unbidden. He could feel the pull at the juncture of his neck and shoulder where Kurt seemed determined to mark him as their cocks rubbed so perfectly.

“More-” the low noise finally made it way out of Blaine’s mouth.

Kurt pulled his face away from the spot he had been working on and looked down at Blaine with lust blown eyes. His smile was wicked, and he reached for a small box on the end table behind Blaine's head.

“God, I've been waiting for this all day.”

Blaine could then see the bottle of lube and felt like weeping with want. He wasn't lying about Kurt being the best lay he could remember. He had honestly been thinking about this almost since the moment he had last walked out of this apartment.

Kurt knelt between his legs as he pushed them to Blaine's chest, exposing his ass. One hand pressed his knees down as the other squirted a cold line between his cheeks making Blaine jump. He didn't have long to think about the cold liquid sliding down his ass before two fingers were entering him, at once stealing all thoughts from his mind but for the string of expletives that flew from his mouth. Kurt twisted his fingers deep inside him.

“You okay?” He asked.

Blaine opened his eyes to see Kurt's concerned expression watching him.

“That was a good ‘dear fucking god’,” he said, arching his back, wanting more.

Kurt continued opening him up as he purred compliments at Blaine.

“Fuck, you have a fantastic ass, look at it open up for me. Have you been thinking about me?”  he asked as he pumped four fingers inside Blaine.

“Every fucking time I jerked off,” Blaine admitted before taking Kurt's wrist in his hand.

He whined as Kurt pulled his fingers out and felt his hole fluttering, wanting nothing more than to be filled again. He turned himself over and got on his hands and knees presenting his ass to Kurt behind him.

In a flash, Kurt was leaning over him taking a condom from that same box. Blaine let his head hang as he waited for Kurt to enter him. He didn't have to wait long before he felt the blunt head of Kurt’s cock rubbing at his hole. He couldn't contain his shout as with one long, steady push Kurt impaled him with his rock hard cock. Fully seated, Kurt paused, panting behind him, but Blaine didn't want to wait to adjust. He wanted to feel this for days. He wasn't sure when he would have this again, and he wanted the ache to last as long as possible. Instead, he began fucking himself on Kurt, letting his cock pound into him, as he chased his orgasm. The noises coming from behind him spurred him on as Kurt joined in the frantic pace.

Blaine could feel his balls tightening, could feel his release creeping up on him. Then Kurt surprised him by pulling him back until he was sitting on his lap still connected.

Neither could move as they had before, but Kurt was impossibly deeper. Blaine could almost swear he could feel him in his stomach, although he knew it was impossible.

“I'm not going to have this over so soon,” Kurt breathed in his ear. “We have all night. Let's use it.”

He helped Blaine move, their pace slower but each stroke hitting Blaine in all the right places. It was exquisite torture, the slow, deep thrusts. Blaine could soon feel the edges of his orgasm but knew he would never get it like this. “Fuck- I need to come- please.”  

Kurt pulled out causing Blaine to groan at the loss. “Stand up,” he said.

Blaine obeyed, sure he wouldn't regret it. Kurt stood behind him guided one leg up to the couch. Kurt entered him again, his arms snaking under Blaine’s arms and gripping his shoulders from the front. He used the hold to guide Blaine as he pounded into him. Blaine could feel his control spiraling as Kurt fucked him, nipping at his shoulder. Every inch of him seemed to be tingling, every nerve on fire. Suddenly like a rubber band snapping he came in long spurts. He could feel his ass clamp down on Kurt’s cock as he continued to fuck into him in an erratic rhythm, could feel his dick jerking as he shot his load and with Kurt's movement. With one last tug on Blaine's shoulders, pulling himself in as deep as he could, he felt as Kurt shuddered behind him and came.

From behind him, he heard Kurt chuckle, “I did not think that through.”

Blaine felt Kurt pull out of him, and he mewled at the movement in his oversensitivity. His eyes fell on the come-covered floor in front of him.

“Yea, sorry about that, but can you honestly expect me to think when you are fucking my brains out?” he mumbled.

Kurt laughed again, a startling sound. “That’s fair, I guess,” he said breathlessly. “Let me get something to clean that up.”

Blaine watched him walk to the kitchenette not knowing what else to do with himself. He could, for really the first time, take in the man who quite literally turned his life upside down with desire. His body was a masterpiece. Blaine was never one to be drawn to tattoos, but on Kurt they looked beautiful and elegant in a way he had never imagined before. Besides the tattoos on his arms, chest and behind his ear Blaine had seen before, he could see one on his shoulder and on each calf as well. He wanted time to study each of them, wanted to trace their lines and learn them in detail.

Kurt turned around and caught him staring, giving him a knowing smirk.

“Sorry,” Blaine said looking away, wondering where his clothes were.

“If I didn’t want you to look, I would have put clothes on,” Kurt said dropping a towel on top of the come on the floor and approaching him. He used one finger to trace the lines of the muscle that ran up Blaine’s side. “You don’t have to get all bashful on me.”

“I- I was just looking at your tats,” Blaine stammered, fighting the lust that was rising within him again.

Kurt smirked at him again.

“Were you, now? Have you ever thought about getting one?”

“No,” Blaine said a little too quickly. “I’ve never thought about it before. I guess I didn’t realize how hot they were.”

“That is not the reason to get a tattoo,” Kurt said, oddly serious. “Like the nipple rings, these are for me. Yes, I got them because I like the way they look, but I didn’t get them to please anyone else.”

“I’m not saying you did.” Blaine felt suddenly defensive, “it’s just that- I’ve never thought about them. I mean I know people who have them, but I have not seen them on someone I was sleeping with. They are more beautiful than I gave them credit for... I’m not making any sense.”

Kurt seemed to soften a bit, “No I get what you are saying. Tattoos are a part of a person in a way that other fashion choices aren’t. They are more like your hair or eyes than a really neat belt. So, Blaine, what kind of tattoo are you going to get?”

“Me?” Blaine asked, shocked at the question.

Kurt ran a finger over his chest, just a light brush.

“Yes, you? I could do so much to you. So what would you get?”

Blaine swallowed hard, trying to calm the heat radiating through him again and feeling so exposed.

“I- I am not the tattoo kind of guy, I don’t think...”

“Your body says different,” Kurt whispered, lowering his hand to run his finger lightly up Blaine’s rapidly filling cock. “You really are young aren’t you, already ready for round two.”

Blaine tried to slow his breathing, trying to reign in his arousal.

“That isn’t the idea of a tattoo, that’s you,” he gulped.

“So, it’s just my tattoos?” Kurt asked.

Blaine huffed a breathless laugh.

“No, it’s your everything.”

“So, why aren’t you a tattoo guy?” Kurt said casually, still running his fingers over Blaine’s skin, his eyes boring into Blaine’s.

Blaine had to look away as he admitted, “I don’t like needles. I get all panicky and sweaty, and I feel like I am going to pass out.”

Kurt’s eyes softened a bit.

“It’s not as bad as a shot, and you are the perfect canvas.”

“If I ever change my mind, I promise to come to you,” Blaine said.

He didn’t ever picture himself wanting a tattoo but would say anything at that point to not have to think about needles anymore and for Kurt to really touch him again.

“I’ll hold you to that,” Kurt laughed. “Now let’s get you in my bed and give me time to catch up. I’m not as young as you are.”

Kurt led them to his room and sprawled out on the bed. Blaine joined him, but while he was so incredibly turned on, he wasn’t completely ruled by it. Instead, he took the time to trace his hand over the blackbird cradling Kurt’s shoulder.

“Can you tell me about it?”

Kurt eyed him a moment, and Blaine wasn’t sure he would answer.

“I’ve always loved the song,” he said, shrugging his shoulder. “It... it got me through a lot of things... so what better way to remind myself.”

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” Blaine whispered. “It’s beautiful. Did you...?” he trailed off.

Kurt smiled then replied, “I helped design it, but Elliott, the guy I own the shop with, did the actual work.”

“Did he do all of them?” Blaine had to ask.

“No,” Kurt huffed, “He only did this and the ones on my calves. When you are in the industry long enough you meet a lot of talented people, and you know who specializes in what.”

Blaine’s hand smoothed down Kurt’s shoulder before tracing over the skyline, “And New York?”

Kurt stared at him again for a moment as if trying to figure out a puzzle.

“A guy at the shop I apprenticed at specialized in architectural designs.”

Blaine took Kurt’s earlobe in his mouth, toying the earring with his tongue. He kissed down his neck before placing a kiss on each of the seven colorful stars he found there.

“Your stars?” he whispered breathlessly.

“One year during pride I had Elliott draw them there.” Kurt laughed, “I liked them so much I went out a week later and got them done by one of the guys I worked with.”

“May I see the others?” Blaine asked.

Wordlessly, Kurt turned over, pillowing his cheek on his arms. Blaine’s eyes first fell on a black and grey pair of dandelions over his left shoulder blade, one in full bloom, the other going to seed. Underneath them in loopy cursive were the words, ‘Always look for beauty and wishes in the world. -Mom’.

“Why dandelions?” Blaine asked.

He could hear Kurt suck in a breath.

“They were my mom’s favorite flower. She said they were the best because they are bright and beautiful and bring so much happiness to the world, but even when they are leaving the world, they still bring joy because they are wishes.” He laughed, “I wondered when I was older if it was just her way of getting me to stop picking them, but no, my dad said she always loved them. She had a unique way of seeing the world.”

Blaine felt like he was hitting a nerve. Kurt was no longer relaxed but tension now rested in his shoulders. He decided to move on. He took in the music wrapping its way around Kurt’s left arm. His fingers played the notes he could see down Kurt's  arm to where they ended near his wrist. It took two times before he could place the song with the pieces missing. He couldn’t help the triumphant smile that sprang to his lips as he asked, “Why do you have ‘The Show Must Go On’ tattooed on your arm?”

Kurt’s eyes sprang open, and he propped himself up looking intently at Blaine, who resisted the urge to recoil under the look he was giving him.

“How the hell did you know that?”

“Music is what I do. I’ve been doing it my whole life. I’m a sound engineer for a music studio. It’s as much a part of me as your tattoos are of you,” he said with a sheepish shrug. “You don’t have to answer. I’m sorry if I offended you. It’s a great song. I just... I guess I just wanted to get to know you better.”

Kurt’s shoulders relaxed as he sat up.

“I’m sorry. I guess I overreacted . It’s not that I don’t want to know you or for you to know me, but...” he hesitated.

“This isn’t what this is about,” Blaine finished for him.

Kurt closed his eyes for a moment.

“After my mom died, my dad remarried a woman whose son was in my grade at school. We couldn’t have been more different. He was the star football player dating the head cheerleader. I was the gay kid who who was obsessed with musicals and spent his spare time drawing.” He opened his eyes and looked intently at Blaine. “Music was what we could bond over, classic rock, especially. Even when we couldn’t have a real conversation yet, we could sing along to my dad’s old vinyls, and we didn’t seem so different.”

Blaine could understand this. It was what he loved most about music; it is a universal language. Before he could say anything, though, Kurt began talking again.

“Finn, my brother, died a couple of years after I moved to New York. This was my tribute to him. The song seemed appropriate.”

“Wow,” Blaine sighed. “I’m sorry, I guess I shouldn’t have pried. It’s just, you kind of fascinate me.”

Kurt laughed, a genuine sound.

“I’m just a guy.” He laid back down on his stomach. “Okay, let's get this over with; go on, I know you want to ask about them.”

Blaine felt relieved that Kurt was encouraging him now. He scooted down the bed until he was level with Kurt’s calves. On his left leg was a forest with tall, looming trees in vibrant purples and greens with a red-orange path running through it. His right leg was a colorful abstract of Times Square. The rich colors were a surprising contrast to the blacks and greys that painted the rest of Kurt’s skin. Blaine felt breathless at their beauty.

“They’re beautiful.”

He looked up to see Kurt smile softly.

“They are based on two of the pieces that got me into art school. He did a great job recreating them.”

“You drew these?” Blaine asked.

“No,” Kurt laughed, “I painted them, god, so long ago.”

“Do you still have the paintings?” Blaine asked, wanting to see them, to compare them to their inky counterparts.

“I’m sure my dad has them somewhere,” Kurt said, rolling his eyes. “Now if you are done analyzing  my tattoos, I thought we were on our way to round two.”

Blaine wouldn’t have turned that down for the world, he climbed up the bed seeking Kurt’s smirking lips.

  



	3. Chapter 3

Blaine grew content with their arrangement. Every few days Kurt would text wanting to meet, and Blaine did what he could to find a way to meet him. Their meetings always happened late in the night at Kurt’s place. Blaine was happy his work schedule was so flexible and he generally worked later in the day. In the many weeks since finding Kurt at the coffeehouse, Blaine had been promoted to a lead sound engineer. As one of only three in the company, he was getting to take complete control of several accounts. Things seemed to be looking up for him. 

Their meetings were consistently filled with a passion that Blaine had always dreamed of. Not only was the sex worthy of epic poetry, but he was also slowly getting Kurt to open up to him more, little by little. There were no grand revelations, just quiet talks as they lay entwined together, sated and loose, waiting for sleep to take them. Blaine loved their whispered conversations just as much as the mind-blowing sex. Still, he hadn’t felt comfortable enough to initiate their meetings. 

If it was up to Blaine, he would have been texting Kurt every free moment he had, but he knew that wasn’t what Kurt wanted, so he would wait. It worked out well because just when Blaine felt he couldn’t stand another evening without Kurt, his phone would buzz, revealing a message from the man himself. Until one day his need for Kurt, for the wonderful distraction of him, became too much. 

Blaine stormed out of the building, his body shaking with adrenaline and the will to not let the tears fall. He stomped to the closest subway ready to distance himself from everything. Before he could get there, though, he pulled out his phone and sent a short message to Kurt.

**Can you meet?**

No response came before he descended the staircase. His phone was still silent as he resurfaced half an hour later, and still none as he opened his apartment and went inside. His agitation still hadn’t subsided, either. He wasn’t sure what else to do, what else would help him forget his dreadful evening. He couldn’t sit still, he couldn’t relax as the conversation replayed in his mind. An hour and a half after sending his text, finally, his phone buzzed. 

**Sorry I was in the middle of a tat. I still have another half hour on it. Still want to meet?**

Blaine looked at the clock. It was only 10, way earlier than they had ever met before. 

**Please**

A few more texts and it was decided Kurt would be there within the hour. Just knowing Kurt was on his way eased some of the tension plaguing Blaine. He could at least sit as he waited. 

He buzzed Kurt into his apartment, and as soon as he flung open the door, pulled him into a frantic kiss. He needed to be lost in the man, needed to forget the rest of the world for awhile.  He didn’t even notice his own tears until Kurt was pulling back, looking at him with worry. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, closing the door behind him. 

Blaine’s shoulders sagged. 

“This has been the worst day, please just help me forget,” he begged. 

Kurt’s look of worry grew, and he led Blaine over to the couch. 

“Forgetting usually doesn’t help, at least not in the long-term. Please tell me what happened.” 

This was not at all what Blaine expected. Kurt was never one to begin their conversations and was always slower to comment. Blaine never thought he would be the one asking him to open up. 

“It’s stupid,” he lied. 

“Obviously not, if it has you in this state. Please tell me,” Kurt said, smoothing his palm gently over Blaine’s cheek. 

The sweet touch broke Blaine’s resolve. 

“I got into a huge fight with my boss over a new account. Most of what we do are recordings for our label, but we also hire out our services to anyone willing to pay. A few days ago I was assigned to this one girl whose dad paid for three songs. It was supposed to be a demo for her, or something,” Blaine rolled his eyes at the thought. “She was terrible, but we got what we could out of her. Today she came in to listen to what we did. She was pissed because I didn’t autotune the shit out of them. I’m sorry, but I didn’t go to school so that some little rich girl could feel better about herself when no one else has the decency to tell her she is awful. I hate autotune, even more now that it has become an industry standard, but I refuse to spend days of my time trying to make this girl sound like Celine Dion!”

“And your boss had a problem with this, I take it?” Kurt said, not hiding his look of amusement. 

Blaine sighed, “I think he had more of a problem with me telling her all this. He pulled me from the account, and I’m supposed to go in for a meeting tomorrow. This is not what I signed up for. I take pride in my work, and I won't lower my standards just to stoke someone's ego.”

“Why did you become a sound engineer?” Kurt asked, propping his head on his fist and looking at Blaine with such interest that he answered without questioning why Kurt would be asking.

“I love the magic that music can be. I was afraid that if I tried to make it as a performer, I would burn out or come to hate it. There is something magical about taking other people’s talents and mixing them in a way that heightens everything. I first noticed it when I was in high school. I was a part of an acapella choir, and individually we were good, but when you got us all together, when everyone did their part, it created something extraordinary. I wanted to keep doing that.”

“Then maybe when you meet with your boss tomorrow, you tell him that.” 

Kurt took Blaine’s hand, then continued, “Now, I don’t know your boss, but pride in your work is never a bad thing. Maybe he just needs to be reminded you will always do your best, but you won't compromise yours or your company’s integrity.”

Blaine nodded. He knew Kevin would listen to him and that there was nothing else he could do to fix it until tomorrow. He decided to let it go, feeling marginally better. 

“How did you become a tattoo artist?” Blaine asked. “I mean, was it something you always wanted to do?”

“God, no,” Kurt laughed. “When I was in high school I either wanted to be an artist, just your regular world-famous kind, or I wanted to be on Broadway.”

“Really?” Blaine asked raising an eyebrow. “So you sing?”

“I did, once upon a time.” Kurt rolled his eyes. “I just couldn’t decide which I wanted to do more. My great plan was to apply to two schools in New York, one for theatre and one for art. I auditioned and sent in my portfolio and decided fate would tell me which I was destined for. I figured if I got into both, I would just know which one I should choose. As fate would have it, I was rejected from the theatre school, although between you and me, I nailed the audition, and ended up going to school for art.”

“So how did art school lead to tattoos?” Blaine asked, needing to hear more. 

He yearned to know more about Kurt. 

“I hated school. The classes were great, but god, the people. I swear I have never met a more pretentious group. I had no friends, and I just felt lost. At the end of spring semester my freshman year a flyer was posted on one of the campus bulletin boards looking for apprentices at a tattoo shop. I didn’t think much about it until I heard the scandalized way they all were talking about it. I decided that if the idea seemed so ridiculous to them, I might as well give it a shot.” Kurt laughed at his own memories. “I met Elliott then. He wasn’t in any of my classes, but we both applied for and got the job.”

“What did your classmates say?” 

Kurt shook his head. “They thought us so beneath them, but you know what? The more we worked and learned, the better artists we became. When you are tattooing someone, you can’t make mistakes. There is no starting over if you blow a line or overwork the piece, you can’t throw it away and start over, you can’t erase what you did wrong. It took time before we were ready to tattoo actual people, but in that time, we surpassed our classmates. By the time we graduated, we were ready to begin tattooing full-time, while they were still trying to figure out how they were going to actually make a living.”

“I would love to see your work,” Blaine admitted. 

Kurt smiled flirtatiously, “Maybe one day. Are you feeling better now?”

“A little,” Blaine said, knowing exactly what was on Kurt’s mind. “There is something that would make me feel even better.”

“Oh, and what exactly is that?” 

“Let me take control tonight,” Blaine said boldly.

A flash of wariness crossed Kurt’s face before he replied, “I don’t bottom Blaine. I’m sorry, it’s just something I don’t do.”

Blaine couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. It wasn’t often that he wanted to top, but he did like the option. He looked at Kurt and knew that this would not be a deal breaker. 

“That doesn’t mean I can’t take control,” he teased. 

A huge smile filled Kurt’s face. 

”Well, by all means...”

Blaine led Kurt across the room to his bed. They sat on the bed for a moment removing their shoes and socks. Blaine stretched out on his bed on his side and Kurt shook his head before joining him. Blaine couldn’t help but look deeply into Kurt’s stormy eyes, wishing he could know him completely. Kurt only held eye contact for a moment before looking down into the space between them. It was a uncharacteristically bashful move and Blaine reached up, stroked his cheek then pulling him into a sweet, almost chaste kiss.  

They kissed slowly, languidly, Blaine just relishing in the closeness. The sweet kisses didn’t last long before turning more wanton. Soon Blaine pushed Kurt onto his back, spreading his body over him. He relished in the feel of Kurt stretched out beneath him. He let his hands explore as their hips found a rhythm. 

This was what Blaine dreamed of as a teenager, making out, maybe rutting with a hot guy. It was all he ever wanted. In that moment, it seemed perfect, too. He could feel Kurt straining, wanting to pick up the pace, but a moment later he would relax, letting Blaine set the pace. He knew this had to be a special torture for Kurt. 

After what felt like ages, he began to ruck Kurt’s shirt up, exposing his chest.  He let his hand explore as they continued to kiss. He knew this body, had seen it so many times but had never been able to take the time to enjoy it the way he wanted to. Blaine smoothed his hand over the soft expanse of skin. His fingers caught on a nipple ring and he could feel Kurt squirm underneath him. Rather than give into the temptation to make Kurt writhe with pleasure at the action, he merely grazed over it, earning him a huff of annoyance from Kurt. He pulled away and asked teasingly, “What?”

“Are you trying to kill me?” Kurt pleaded. 

Blaine smiled, “Don’t you always say you aren’t ready for this to end, that we have all night?”

“If you don’t at least hurry up a little bit, it will be morning, and we won’t even have made it to second base.” Kurt practically growled. 

“Don’t you trust me?” Blaine teased.

Kurt rolled his eyes but smiled, “Can we at least get naked? These pants are entirely too tight for this. Do you want my dick to fall off?”

“Never,” Blaine gasped in mock terror, “We must save the cock at all costs.” 

“Thank god!” Kurt mumbled and began working on his jeans before Blaine could protest that it was his job. Instead he rolled off Kurt to relieve himself of his own clothes. 

Once they were both naked, Kurt tugged at Blaine’s wrist. “Now where were we?” 

Blaine took a moment to look at Kurt sprawled out on his bed, chest flushed and a small smile on his lips. He captured them in a kiss, stretching his body out over Kurt’s. They moved against each other, not attempting to get off, just relishing in the feel of each other. 

Eventually, Blaine released Kurt lips and let his kisses trail down his body, taking special care to pay attention to each inch of Kurt he encountered. He chanced a glance up at him and saw Kurt’s head thrown back, mouth slightly open, and blinking in an almost shocked sort of way. He wanted to worship Kurt in the way he deserved. 

He paid special attention to his nipples, knowing how much Kurt enjoyed it. The tantalizing noises the action earned was reward enough for Blaine. Kurt gasped his name, his hips jutting up meeting Blaine’s stomach, followed by a desperate murmur. The teasing was getting to be too much for Blaine as well, and he took Kurt’s hot, throbbing cock into his hand, Kurt sighed in relief. 

Blaine slowly pumped his fist, feeling the blood rushing under his palm. He moved his lips up to the juncture of Kurt’s neck, kissing and sucking the skin, feeling the muscles contract and relax as Kurt moved and hummed above him. When he pulled his head away seeing the purpling mark he left behind, he gently nuzzled the spot with his nose, smelling the citrusy scent that always clung to him there. 

Blaine was surprised when hands grasped his jaw, pulling his face up to meet Kurt’s. This kiss was desperate in a way they hadn’t been before. 

“I need you,” Kurt cried barely breaking the kiss. 

Blaine released the cock of his lover, who whimpered at the loss. He found the dresser by feel alone, not ready to end the kiss, opened the drawer, and pulled out a large bottle of lube. Feeling the bottle against his side, Kurt broke the kiss. 

“Oh, thank god,” he sighed. 

Blaine couldn’t help his laugh as he sat up and reached once more for the still-open drawer. He pulled out a single condom and laughed again at the smile it brought to Kurt’s face. 

“Finally?” Blaine asked amused. 

“Finally.” Kurt repeated an oddly soft expression on his face. 

He watched Blaine as he sat up, and his eyes widened as Blaine flung one leg over his chest, straddling him backwards. Blaine was happy to be facing Kurt’s beautiful dick. Blaine couldn’t see his face, but as he leaned forward exposing his hole to Kurt, he heard a pleased gasp followed by the popping sound of the bottle cap. 

Blaine slowly rolled the condom down the rock hard phallus before taking it in his mouth. He could hear Kurt gasp and then a single dripping finger was entering him slowly. Blaine relished in the stretch of both his mouth and ass. He pushed himself to the limits trying to take all of Kurt he could into his mouth as Kurt opened him up. Blaine was content as he had never known before. 

Kurt was slow and deliberate in his movements, Blaine thought maybe as pay back for the unhurried pace he had set before. Blaine loved it though, and if Kurt thought it was a punishment, he was wrong. Blaine didn’t want this to end; he would have gladly spent all night making Kurt come undone. He felt Kurt’s fingers slip away, but before he could protest the loss, he inhaled in surprise as Kurt’s tongue lapped at his entrance. The soft, wet flesh gave way to the hard, cool ball of Kurt’s tongue ring, eliciting another whimper from Blaine. He tried to keep the rhythm he had set with his mouth but had to pull off as his brain seemed to overload from the sensation. Never before had a lover rimmed him, and it was such an erotic delight he couldn’t focus on anything but the feel. He threw his head back, a litany of noises coming unbidden. Kurt grasped Blaine’s hips, pulling his ass closer to his mouth, his tongue going deeper. Blaine gasped and closed his eyes, just feeling. Kurt hummed sending shockwaves through his body, and Blaine had to pull away, afraid if they didn’t stop he would come before they got started. 

“I thought I was supposed to be in control tonight,” Blaine muttered trying to catch his breath. 

Kurt caressed his ass as he laughed, “I couldn’t help myself. Your ass looked delicious.”

Blaine made himself move off of Kurt’s body. When he was sitting beside him on the bed, he said, “Sit up with your back against the wall.”

Kurt obeyed a look of anticipation on his face. Blaine straddled Kurt’s hips, but was careful not to brush Kurt’s cock. He leaned forward capturing Kurt’s mouth in a deep lustful kiss, tasting himself on Kurt’s tongue, his tongue ring driving him wild.

“You are the absolute sexiest person I have ever met,” Blaine breathed as he pulled away. 

“What can I say,” Kurt began with a shrug, “you inspire me.” This time when they kissed Blaine lowered his hips, letting their cocks rub together for a moment before raising up on his knees again. He found the discarded lube in the sheets next to Kurt’s hips. He grabbed it and pulled away, making a great show of drizzling lube on his hand before wrapping it around Kurt’s long, hard shaft. Kurt threw back his head, a low wanton sound coming from him as Blaine lowered himself, lining up Kurt’s cock with his own gaping, wanting hole. Kurt’s eyes flew open as Blaine began to lower himself slowly letting his ass devour Kurt’s dick. Being filled by Kurt was an unmatched ecstasy Blaine had never imagined could exist before meeting the man. The burn was exquisite, as he waited for his body to adjust to the length and girth of Kurt fully seated inside him. Kurt’s hands smoothed up and down Blaine’s sides as his breath came in overwhelmed puffs, soothing him. 

Blaine began to move, slowly, tantalizingly, lifting and dropping himself, enjoying the feel. It had only been two days but he missed the feeling of Kurt inside him making him fall apart. This time it was Blaine’s turn to make Kurt feel good, it would be his movements that made Kurt come undone. He chose this position because he knew it limited Kurt in what he was able to do.

He rode Kurt’s cock, savoring the feel of it as it penetrated him over and over again. Kurt writhed underneath him, the only movement he could muster. His hands gripped Blaine’s face, pulling him into a heated kiss. Blaine’s thighs ached with the movement, but the way Kurt’s cock rammed into his prostate made up for the burn in them. 

Blaine broke the kiss, leaned back and placed his hands on the bed behind him, changing the angle. 

“Fuck,” Kurt hissed, his eyes boring into Blaine as he continued to drive himself onto Kurt’s dick. His hands ran up and down Blaine’s sides before settling around Blaine’s hips. His grip was tight; Blaine knew there would be bruises there in the morning but didn’t care. Together they worked Blaine’s body, Kurt helping to guide and steady the thrusts. 

Again, Blaine changed the angle, sitting up and stretching his arms high above his head, relishing in the way his body was tingling as if every nerve was on fire. He undulated his body as if he were on the dance floor instead of in bed. 

“God, look at you,” Kurt said licking his lips. “You look just like you did back in the club. So beautiful.”

Blaine looked down on him, his eyes heavy with sensuality, “But this time I’m doing it for you,” he purred. He continued to move, as if dancing, feeling so close to his release, just needing to be touched. “I love your cock,” he cried. “I love the way you make me feel. I want you to feel good, too.”

Kurt sat up straighter and grabbed Blaine’s face in his hands again. He kissed him like he would die without it. Blaine tried to keep moving but stilled his hips to continue kissing Kurt. The burning lust of before was cooling by the time Kurt broke the kiss. 

“You are amazing. Why do you think I don’t ever want it to end?” Kurt whispered. 

Blaine wasn’t sure if Kurt was talking about each encounter or their continued meetings. To Blaine it didn’t matter, not at that moment. All that mattered was being with Kurt, making him feel beautiful and cherished. 

He began moving again, kissing Kurt while slowly undulating his hips. Soon he broke the kiss and began his dance again. Kurt hands roved over his body, and Blaine reveled in the feeling. 

Kurt’s breath was soon coming out in short bursts, punctated by moans and keens Blaine knew so well. He knew Kurt was close. 

“Touch me,” Blaine begged. 

Kurt’s hand gripped around Blaine’s cock, fucking into it before fucking himself down on Kurt’s cock. 

“So beautiful,” Kurt murmured. 

Blaine knew Kurt was close, so instead chased his own release. His thighs burned, and he didn’t think he could take in a proper breath if he tried, still he moved feeling he was about to explode. Faster his movements came, into Kurt’s hand, down on his cock, over and over. He could hear as if from far off Kurt chanting ‘fuck’ until he came shouting Blaine’s name. 

Blaine fell forward clutching to Kurt’s shoulder, ramming Kurt’s dick straight at his prostate perfectly. It was all too much, and he came with a wild howl, his come painting both their chests. 

He couldn’t unwrap himself from around Kurt’s neck, just clung to him as tears welled in his eyes. Kurt whispered unheard words into his chest as he held onto Blaine. Once Blaine’s breathing and emotions were again in check he pulled back and climbed off Kurt’s lap. He flopped down on the bed and closed his eyes. He felt the bed shift as Kurt stood, and he heard him move around the room,  assuming he was throwing away the condom. He peeked out from under his eyelids and saw Kurt picking up his jeans. 

“Hey,” Blaine said sitting up, “Why are you getting dressed?” he asked feeling panic rise in him. 

“I should get back home,” Kurt whispered, not looking at Blaine. 

Blaine's mind was in a panic. “No, stay, please.”

Kurt looked at him finally, his eyes were soft. “You have a meeting tomorrow. You don’t need me hanging around.”

“But I want you here,” Blaine said softly. “I’m not ready for you to leave yet. Besides my meeting isn’t until noon.”

“I have work tomorrow,” Kurt said.

Blaine held out his hand, “Then go home early. Please, Kurt, stay.”

Kurt hesitated a moment before dropping his pants back on the floor. He walked closer and took Blaine’s hand. “Why?” he asked barely above a whisper. 

The question surprised Blaine. He knew better than to tell the whole truth, knew it would scare Kurt away. He knew that if he told Kurt he never wanted him to leave, he would never see him, never have this again. 

Instead he said, “I’m just not ready to let you go yet. Please.”

Kurt nodded, his smile a little sad but he pulled down the covers on Blaine’s bed. “You need to clean up first,” he teased, before crawling under the sheets. 

Blaine grabbed a wet wipe from off the end table and swiped away his own come before sliding in beside Kurt. Kurt was laying on his back staring at the ceiling, Blaine pillowed his head on Kurt chest listening to his heart beat. For once Blaine didn’t try to engage Kurt in conversation. He felt Kurt wasn’t in the headspace for that. He looked lost in thought. Blaine started to worry, but then Kurt draped his arm around Blaine and kissed the top of his head. Blaine closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, sated and tired. When he woke up Kurt was gone. 

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

It had been over two weeks since Blaine last saw Kurt. The longest he had gone since they started this thing together. He had tried to text him a few days after their last meeting but only got a short reply saying Kurt was busy. It was the first time that an invitation wasn’t accepted. Blaine should have known it was too good to last. After coming to an understanding with Kevin that it probably wasn’t for the best to pair Blaine with inexperienced singers, Blaine was feeling light and happy. But the continued silence and rejection from Kurt had stolen that happiness away. 

He contemplated texting Kurt again, but feared the response he might get. He tried to think back to their last meeting, tried to suss out what he could have done wrong, but could think of nothing. Unless… unless he had not satisfied Kurt the way he thought he had. The thought turned Blaine’s stomach. 

Needing a distraction, Blaine found himself in a hole-in-the-wall Chinese restaurant Kevin had told him about months ago. It was late, after ten, and he just needed to eat his feelings for the night. He sat at a small booth near the door waiting for his take-out order, too much food for one person to eat, but Blaine was determined to try. He was staring out the window, not seeing just wallowing in his misery when an all too familiar voice drew him out of his thoughts. 

“Blaine?” He looked up to see Kurt standing there, a worried expression on his face. 

He smiled sadly at the other man, “Hey, Kurt.” 

“Everything ok?” Kurt asked, his brow furrowed. 

Blaine huffed a humorless laugh, “I don’t know? I haven’t heard from you in a while.”

“May I?” Kurt asked gesturing to the seat across from Blaine. 

“If you want to.” Blaine answered dryly. 

Kurt looked at him for a moment, “You’re upset with me,” he said plainly.

“I just…” Blaine let his shoulders rise and fall before continuing. “Did I do something wrong?”

“What?” Kurt asked confused.

“I haven’t heard from you, and when I texted you, you said you were busy. And I haven’t heard from you since. Did I do something or was I… bad?” Blaine said looking away not wanting to see Kurt’s face as he uttered the last word. 

Kurt’s hand enveloped his, tugging on it until Blaine looked up, ” _ You  _ were wonderful. I’m sorry, life has been… well life. And I guess I got caught up in it. I didn’t mean to make you think… I still want to see you.”

“I know this is supposed to be a casual thing, I get that Kurt. But I woke up that morning, and you were gone. And just everything that happened after, can you really blame me for thinking you didn’t want me anymore.” Blaine confessed.

Kurt’s eyes softened, “I’m sorry. I couldn’t sleep, my brain just wouldn’t shut up. I went home hoping that I could sleep there. Insomnia can be a bitch,” Kurt huffed a laugh. “Things have been crazy at the shop. Good crazy, but business has been pretty steady, and I haven’t been sleeping well. I honestly didn’t have the energy for more than sitting at my apartment.”

The waitress approached their table with two bags of food and set them down in front of Blaine, thanking him. “Have you ordered yet?” Blaine asked feeling embarrassed at the sheer amount of food he had ordered. 

Kurt smiled, “Not yet. I saw you first.”

Blaine rubbed the back of his neck, “You want to come to my place and help me eat this? You will be saving me from an early grave from eating my weight in Chinese food.”

Kurt’s mouth opened and closed for a moment as if he were trying to make a decision. “I... I would love that.” He finally said. 

Kurt took one bag and Blaine the other, as they walked down the streets of New York to Blaine’s place. Blaine feeling bold and needing a connection, just to touch Kurt and know this wasn’t a hallucination, took Kurt’s hand. His heart leapt when Kurt squeezed it and gave him a sweet smile. 

They sat on the floor in front of Blaine’s coffee table, all the food spread out in front of them, laughing, talking, and eating. Kurt told him about the article that had appeared on some popular tattoo blog that had ramped up their business. Blaine told him about his meeting with Kevin. They talked about inconsequential things. It almost felt like they were friends... or more. Blaine was content in a different way than he ever had felt with Kurt. 

They were just playfully fighting over the last dumpling when Kurt’s phone rang. As he pulled it out to answered it Blaine triumphantly popped the dumpling in his mouth smirking at Kurt. 

“Hey, Baby, what’s up?” Kurt said. 

Blaine tried not to choke on the dumpling, and Kurt gave him a knowing smirk as he listened. 

“I can’t come back to the shop, I’m busy.” Kurt grumbled, the amusement gone from his face replaced by annoyance. “Surely Elliott can take care of them.”

“I don’t care if they only want me, I already came in today and did a six hour tat. I am not coming in at eleven, on what is supposed to be my day off, for a fucking consult.” Kurt growled down the phone. “They can come in tomorrow when we open. I should have an hour free on the schedule, or they can let Elliott handle it, or they can find another damn shop. I’m done for the day.”

“I am not at my apartment, and why should it matter anyway, day off remember!” Kurt listened for a moment shaking his head. “Baby, please just take care of it. That is what we pay you for. Now if you will excuse me I was in the middle of something important. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He hung up the phone still shaking his head. 

“Baby?” Blaine asked intrigued now.

Kurt laughed, “Elliott and I can’t figure out if she has the world’s least creative parents or if they were hippies. I did her paperwork myself. Says it right there on her driver’s license. Baby Girl Thompson.”

“Seriously?” Blaine giggled. 

Kurt smiled softly at him, “If I’m lying, I’m dying.”

“So things have been really crazy at work, huh?” 

“They have,” Kurt confirmed. “I mean, it’s great, if not a little exhausting. We hired a piercer, what four, five months ago. We are looking to hire another tattoo artist. It is getting to be too much for just Elliott and me. We’ve been working twelve hour days and have had to give up our day off because we have just been slammed. Tattooing is very physical, it may not seem it, but it can be. And I haven’t been sleeping well, even though I am bone weary all the time.”

“Really? You never seemed it before?” Blaine said, eyeing Kurt closely.

Kurt closed his eyes, “My sleep troubles have only been in the last couple of weeks, it’s just like whatever I do I can’t get my brain to shut off, and I can’t get comfortable.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Blaine asked concerned. 

“I’ve missed you,” Kurt sighed. His eyes sprang open as if gauging Blaine’s reaction. 

“I’ve missed you too, Kurt.” Blaine replied with a smile. 

Kurt leaned forward and kissed Blaine slowly and gently. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t text, even just to tell you what was going on… I didn’t think…”

“I could have texted too,” Blaine admitted. “I just… I was afraid you were done with me.”

“I'm not done unless you want to be done.” Kurt said.

Blaine answered him with a kiss. It started out sweet but soon turned needy. Hands scrambled for hold on the other and clothes found their way to the floor. They moved to the bed only because Blaine didn’t have stashes of lube and condoms hidden around his apartment the way Kurt seemed to. They couldn’t get enough of each other, and any space between them was seen as the greatest of sins. They were frantic in their desire, finding everything they needed in the body of the other. Even as they lay spent, entwined on Blane’s bed, they didn’t move more than a few inches from each other, but fell asleep clinging together. 

Blaine was pleasantly surprised to find Kurt still in his bed when he woke up the next morning. He nuzzled his nose in Kurt’s hair, smelling sex and sweat with a faint hint of that wonderful citrus smell. Muted sunlight was peeking through a gap in the curtain, so he knew it must be at least mid morning. He squinted his eyes trying to focus on the microwave clock across the room. It was almost 10:00. 

“Kurt,” He whispered, kissing his cheek. “It’s pretty late. What time do you have to be at the shop?” 

“11:30 why?” Kurt yawned stretching his arms above his head accidentally smacking Blaine in the face. “Sorry.”

“It’s almost 10, I have a staff meeting later today, but it doesn’t start until 1.” Blaine said laughing and rubbing his nose.

“Shit,” Kurt hissed sitting up. “I should get up, I need to go to my apartment and shower before going in.”

“Why don’t you shower here? I am sure I have something you can wear.” Blaine offered. 

“Blaine, I don’t think your pants will fit me,” Kurt huffed, running his hand through his hair. 

Blaine laughed, “You never seemed to have a problem getting into my pants before.”

Kurt’s face broke into a smile, “You are entirely too much fun in the morning. You know what I mean!”

“Wear your jeans, I have plenty of shirts for you to choose from.” Blaine said.

Kurt kissed him gently before saying, “You’re sure you don’t mind?” 

“Never,” Blaine said getting up, “You take a shower, and I’ll get you some breakfast and coffee.”

“Mmm, coffee sounds wonderful,” Kurt hummed. 

“Go,” Blaine teased, “It will be ready when you get out. I have bagels too, the best in New York.”

Kurt hummed again before standing up, retrieving his pants and retreating to the bathroom. 

Blaine busied himself making the coffee and tidying up the mess they had left the night before. He could hear a high clear voice singing over the falling water. At first it was just snippets of songs, indistinguishable through the wall. Then Kurt settled on singing ‘Blackbird’. Blaine stood near the door listening, and his heart swelled. When the song ended, he heard the rattle of the pipes as the water was shut off. Blaine rushed to the kitchen and popped the bagel into the toaster before he could be caught listening at the door. 

He was just adding the second bagel when Kurt exited the bathroom rubbing his hair with a towel. “Where are your shirts?” He asked.

Blaine went and opened the closet door and watched as Kurt shuffled through the hangers before settling on a heather grey henley. As he pulled the shirt over his head, Kurt noticed Blaine watching him. 

“What?” he asked confused. 

Blaine just smiled, “Come on, your breakfast is ready.”

He poured Kurt a cup of coffee and pushed the plate with the bagel over to his place at the bar. After serving himself, he smiled again at Kurt. 

“I heard you singing in the shower.”

Kurt hid his face in his hand, “Oh god, I didn’t think you could hear me. You should never judge someone on their shower singing. It isn’t fair.”

“You have an exquisite voice, Kurt,” Blaine said honestly.

Kurt huffed, “You don’t have to say that. It’s high and girly and…”

“Exquisite,” Blaine interrupted him. “I’m a professional, remember? I hear all sorts of people singing every day, and I could listen to you all day long”

“No, you are just flattering me,” Kurt shook his head. 

Blaine took his hand and looked him deep in the eyes, “I am not. I am being honest with you. Please, just take the compliment.”

Kurt opened his mouth to protest, “I… thank you. I appreciate it.”

They ate in silence for a while before Blaine blurted, “I want to record you.”

“What?” Kurt asked looking at him like Blaine was crazy. 

“I want to record you singing. Please.”

“No,” Kurt shook his head emphatically. “I’m not… that’s not me.”

Blaine couldn’t explain his need to get Kurt into the recording studio but grasped for a way to convince him. “I want you to see what I can do, I want you to be able to hear yourself the way I do, please Kurt.”

“Blaine, I’m sure that you are wonderful at your job, but I’m not comfortable with that.” Kurt looked away. 

“If you let me record you, I will let you tattoo me.” Blaine said seriously.

Kurt’s gaze shot over towards Blaine, his eyes wide. 

“You can’t be serious!”

“I’m completely serious, if you let me record you, just one song, you can tattoo me, anything anywhere you want.” Blaine held Kurt’s gaze, he seemed to be still processing the idea, so Blaine added, “You know how uncomfortable the idea of needles makes me, and I get that the idea of being in the studio is hard for you, too, but I will face my fears if you do.”

Kurt sighed, looked away from Blaine. When his eyes returned to Blaine’s they were fierce and determined. 

“You have yourself a deal.”

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

It had been three weeks since they made their deal, and while Blaine hadn’t gotten Kurt into the studio yet, Kurt hadn’t mentioned anything about the tattoo, either. If not for the new way Kurt would caress his skin, examining it almost as if he were memorizing each line and dip of his body, Blaine would have thought he had forgotten. 

Blaine was afraid at first that Kurt would disappear again, but their meetings actually became more frequent than before. Almost every other day, Kurt would text Blaine asking to meet, now even offering to come to Blaine’s place. He claimed to be sleeping better, and he did seem less guarded than before. 

He talked more freely about the shop, telling Blaine stories about Baby, Elliott, and the piercer, Micah. He even talked about finding their new artist, Callie, who was moving to New York just to work in their shop. Blaine loved to hear the stories Kurt told about his clients and the pieces he was working on. Blaine finally felt able to open up more, himself. Talking about his own clients and even playing Kurt snippets of the songs he was working on.

It almost felt like a real relationship. Blaine would be lying if he said that wasn’t what he really wanted. He longed to go out with Kurt, to take him on the town and share the city with him. He had to remind himself that that wasn’t what they had. They weren’t boyfriends, Kurt was very clear about that from the start. He had said that that was something he couldn’t give Blaine. Even with this new openness, Blaine knew he couldn’t ask. He knew that that line of questioning would only lead to heartbreak and having none of Kurt in his life. So he contented himself with the parts of Kurt he could have. 

The sex was still mind-blowing. After six months the passion was still there, just as scorchingly hot as the first time they met. Kurt still found ways to make Blaine come undone like he never imagined before. Kurt just seemed to ooze this sexy confidence that Blaine couldn’t resist, didn’t want to resist. It didn’t change the fact that when he was in bed at night alone with his thoughts Blaine couldn’t help thinking,  _ I’m going to be burned in the end.  _

It took a lot of planning for Blaine to have everything ready to bring Kurt to the recording studio. He spent his spare time, when he had no clients, to work recording and perfecting the background tracks he would need. He played the guitar himself, only enlisting the help from one of his coworkers to run the equipment as he recorded. It had been three weeks since their deal and finally he was ready to cash in Kurt’s end. 

They lay in Kurt’s bed that night, happy and sated, still trying to catch their breath when Blaine asked, “What evening are you free next?”

“What do you mean?” Kurt laughed breathlessly. “Surely you aren’t ready for more yet.”

“I’m talking about our deal.” Blaine said propping his chin on Kurt’s chest and looking softly up at him. “I have everything ready, finally. I just need you in the studio for one night.” 

Kurt covered his eyes with one hand, “Are you sure that is the only way I can get you in  _ my _ studio?”

Blaine kissed Kurt’s chest, “You face your fears, and I will face mine.”

“It’s not my fears as much as...” Kurt paused, playing with the curls hanging over Blaine’s forehead. “I used to want to perform. It was one of the things I lived for.”

“And?” Blaine asked gently, wanting to understand. 

“And I don’t know if I am ready to face that again,” Kurt admitted.

“Face what?”

Kurt sighed, sounding lost and broken. “Face that part of myself I let go when I graduated high school. I haven’t sung in front of anyone since then.”

Blaine sat up and looked down at Kurt, who was avoiding his eyes. “Hey, if you don't want to, you don’t have to. I would never force you to do anything you are uncomfortable with. All I am asking is for you to trust me and try.”

Kurt looked up at him seeming so tired. “Why is this so important to you?”

“Music is such a big part of my life and… I guess I wanted to share it with you.” Blaine looked away until he felt a tug at his wrist. 

“Come on lay down.” Kurt mumbled. When Blaine was once again cuddled up next to him, Kurt whispered, “Can we do it when no one else is there?”

Blaine rubbed a soothing hand over Kurt’s chest. “Of course, it just has to be you and me and Max, the late-night security guard. Don’t worry he won't hear a thing he is five stories below the studio.”

Kurt laughed, a surprising sound in the quiet of the apartment. “If it is after the shop closes I can make it any night next week. If not, I will see what I can do.”

Four days later Kurt met Blaine in the lobby of the deserted studios. The security guard was pleasantly surprised when Kurt greeted him by name before signing him into the visitors log. Once in the elevator, Blaine could see the tension riding in Kurt’s shoulders and the nervous twitch of his leg. 

“Relax,” he soothed. “It’s just you and me, remember.”

Kurt visibly swallowed before squaring his shoulders. 

“I can do this,” he muttered quietly. 

Blaine led Kurt into the studio and gave him a quick tour, explaining all the equipment and what would be happening. 

“Here are your headphones,” he said when he showed him into the booth itself. “This is where you will hear the music, and I will also be able to talk to you through them. All you have to do is sing into the microphone. I’ll do the rest.”

Kurt nodded, taking the headphones from Blaine. 

“Now, the first thing I need to do is set the levels. I’m just going to ask you to sing whatever you want for a little bit so I can make some initial adjustment. Then we will get started. Okay?” Blaine asked, watching Kurt closely.

“Okay.” Kurt said quietly. 

As Blaine went back to the control room, Kurt carefully placed the headphones on his head, watching Blaine the whole time. When Blaine told Kurt to sing he had to hold back his laughter at what he heard. 

“Blaine is making me do this, I feel like an idiot,” Kurt sang with a smirk on his face. “I don’t know why I wanted to do this professionally, this is not glamorous.”

“Okay, Kurt,” Blaine chuckled through his own microphone. “I have want I need. Thank you.”

“You didn’t like my song?” He teased.

“It was lovely,” Blaine teased back. “Now you’ll hear the accompaniment through your headphones. Just sing like you are in the shower. Pretend I’m not here.”

“Like that is easy,” Kurt mumbled. 

Blaine began the music, hit record, and waited for Kurt to come in. The first take was technically perfect but stiff. He had Kurt sing it again and again. Each take was marginally better than the last, but was nothing like what he had heard in the shower so many weeks ago. 

He could tell Kurt was getting frustrated, honestly Blaine was, too. “Kurt,” Blaine finally said, “I need you to feel the song. Remember this is a song about taking a bad situation and making it better. About overcoming obstacles. Feel the song. Just close your eyes and feel it.”

Blaine began the accompaniment again and watched as Kurt closed his eyes. His face relaxed and when he opened his mouth, Blaine heard what he knew was there all along. Kurt’s voice rose and fell with such longing and wistfulness, it made the breath catch in Blaine’s chest. Kurt’s eyes remained closed as he sang. Blaine didn’t interrupt, he just listened and marveled at the man on the other side of the glass. When the song ended, he waited a few moments before hitting the intercom button. 

“That, that was perfect Kurt.” Blaine sighed, “Can you, can you do it again, just like that a couple of more times? I just want to make sure I have enough takes to work with.”

Kurt opened his eyes and blinked at him a few times before answering, “Um, yea, I think so, just give me a minute.”

After two more times through, Blaine felt he had what he needed. “That was great. Just hang the headphones on the mic stand and you can come in here. I just need to download the files to my laptop,” Blaine said. 

Kurt sheepishly walked through the door, but didn’t enter any further into the control room. 

“Hey, come here,” Blaine said when he noticed him standing off to the side. Once he was close enough, Blaine grabbed his hand and pulled him into a kiss. “You were fantastic.”

“We did what ten takes? That has to be the worst anyone has ever done.” Kurt said morosely. 

Blaine soothed his hand down Kurt’s back, “Hey, did you ever hear that Mercedes Jones song, ‘Love is in the Air’?”

Kurt gave him a strange look before nodding. 

“That was one of the first sessions I sat in on. Do you know how long we spent recording just her parts for that song?

Kurt just shook his head. 

“Two days. She stood in front of that very microphone, a Grammy-winning performer, and recorded the same song for two days before we got what we needed. It was a total of like, 8 hours. And you were perfect in just over one. Don’t sell yourself short, Kurt.”

Kurt smiled, “You never told me that you know Mercedes Jones.”

Blaine shrugged his shoulders, “I mean I have worked with her a bit. I haven’t gotten to edit any of her stuff, I’m not senior enough for that.”

“I guess it’s fair,” Kurt said biting his lip, “I never told you I knew her, too.”

“What?” Blaine barked a laugh, “How?”

“We went to high school together. We were friends, but lost touch once we graduated. By the time she became famous, well, it had been too long. I didn’t want her to think that was the only reason I contacted her.” Kurt said, running his finger over the counter.

Blaine grabbed that hand bringing it to his mouth for a kiss. “Well, if I ever see her I will give her your number, okay.”

“That would be nice.” Kurt smiled. 

“Ok, it looks like the files are done, what do you say we get out of here?” Blaine asked packing his things away.

“Let’s, let’s go to your place,” Kurt breathed. 

There was an intensity about Kurt that night that Blaine had never experienced before. His focus on Blaine was acute and frenetic. He seemed to lose himself as he explored and claimed Blaine’s body, as if it were something entirely new he had never seen before. Blaine felt seen in a way he never had been before by Kurt and spent with such completeness he didn’t have the brain power to wonder why. He just clung to Kurt as he drifted off into a sated, blissful sleep. 

When Blaine wasn’t working or with Kurt, he spent all his free time mixing tracks. He loved trying to find the perfect combination to create the perfect song. He spent hours listening to each line, wanting to do his best, for Kurt. He even returned to the studio to get the final piece he needed. 

He was so excited to share it with Kurt when he was finished, he didn’t text, he called, begging for Kurt to meet that night. It wasn’t until after he hung up the phone that he realized that they had never actually spoken on the phone before. 

Kurt seemed concerned when Blaine let him into the apartment that night. 

“Everything okay?” he asked after greeting him with a quick kiss. 

Blaine couldn’t help but smile, “Everything's great. I finished your song.”

“Oh, God, “ Kurt blanched. 

Blaine faltered for a moment. “I worked really hard on it.”

“No, it’s not about you. I’m sure you did a wonderful job on it, I’m just not sure if I am ready to hear myself.” Kurt soothed. 

“Just, just close your eyes and listen. Don’t think, just listen.”

Kurt nodded and stood in the middle of Blaine’s apartment, his eyes closed, breathing slowly and deeply. Blaine hit play and watched Kurt’s face as the guitar began to play. It took a moment after the vocals began before a small smile turned up the corner of Kurt’s mouth. When Blaine’s voice joined Kurt’s on the final chorus, just in the background, supporting and rounding out the sound, Kurt’s hand covered his mouth and a soft intake of breath. 

The song over, Kurt opened his eyes. “Was that you?” He asked. 

“You sounded so beautiful, but it just needed another level. I hope that’s okay.” Blaine tried to explain. 

“You really are good at what you do.” Kurt said stalking towards him and wrapping an arm around his waist. 

Blaine ducked his head, “Well, I had great material to work with.”

“And so do I,” Kurt cooed, using his other hand to slowly unbutton Blaine’s shirt and placing a kiss on each section of skin exposed. 

Blaine’s contented sigh was cut short as his meaning became clear. “Oh.” was all Blaine could think of to say as his brain began to short circuit not from lust but from fear. 

Kurt stilled his movement and looked at Blaine with such soft concern Blaine had to look away. 

“If you don’t want to do it, I’m not going to make you.” Kurt said softly. 

Blaine shook his head, “No, our deal...”

Kurt’s hand cupped Blaine's cheek. 

“A deal is no reason to get a tattoo. Not if you don’t really want one. In fact, I won’t tattoo you unless you tell me you want it. This is something that you are going to have to live with the rest of your life. And as much as I want to have my art on your body, I would never do anything you weren’t one hundred percent on board with.”

Blaine wasn’t sure how to explain it to Kurt. He closed his eyes trying to focus his thoughts. “It’s not that I don’t want it. I just... I don’t know if I can. I don't want to make a fool out of myself. I don’t want you to think less of me.”

“Blaine, I have been doing this for a long time. Do you think I haven’t had clients that are terrified of needles? We can’t help what we are afraid of, but we can face those fears. I was horrified at the idea of singing in front on you. I really felt like I was going to throw up. But you know what? When we started, I realized that it wasn’t as bad as I thought,” Kurt told him, stroking his cheek lightly. 

“Does it hurt?” Blaine whimpered.

“It depends, mostly on where. Some places hurt more than others. I have been told I am pretty light-handed when I tattoo, so that should help. It also depends on your body; some people handle pain better than others. But after a while your body knows how to handle the pain. There is a reason people get more than one tattoo. The adrenaline rush... it can be addicting.” Kurt said. 

“Do you know where?” Blaine asked.

“I was wanting right here,” He said touching the spot right over Blaine’s heart. 

“And where does this fall on the pain scale?”

Kurt looked at him apologetically. 

“It isn’t the worst place, but there are better. It’s just… the idea I have, it makes the most sense there. I can change it if you want to.”

Blaine was intrigued. “What is your idea?” 

“Music, and how it comes from your soul. It just  _ is _ you. It comes from here,” Kurt said touch that spot above his heart again. 

“Okay,” Blaine whispered.

“It will make more sense when you can see it. I don’t have my sketch with me but…” Kurt continued.

“I said okay,” Blaine repeated louder. 

“Okay?” Kurt asked. “Are you sure?”

Blaine didn’t have to think anymore, hearing Kurt speak like he could see into his very soul, decided it for him. He was still terrified he was going to make an utter fool of himself, but he had to see what Kurt saw in him. 

“I’m sure,” he said before kissing him soundly and ending the conversation.

Blaine lost himself in Kurt, as Kurt stripped him bare and worshipped his body. Never before had he felt so cherished as when Kurt undid him with such care. 

The next morning, Blaine awoke, to Kurt shuffling around the room, already fully dressed.

“Where are you going?” He asked groggily. 

Kurt sat gingerly on the side of the bed and carded his hand through Blaine’s hair, “I have to go into the shop early. I have a consult. Mondays are by appointment only now, and I wanted to get it over with so I could get some things done today.”

“What time is it?” 

Kurt looked up at the clock before answering, “9:45. My appointment is at 11. What are you doing next Monday?”

Blaine mentally went through his schedule. “I’m free all day, why?”

“Because, if you are serious, you are my only appointment all day.”

Blaine swallowed hard, “The tattoo?”

“If you were serious. I should have everything perfect by then.” Kurt said running his fingers again through Blaine’s curls. 

“Then I am all yours.” Blaine said trying to ease his own nerves again. 

He would have loved to have spent the interim before his appointment, with Kurt to keep him from focusing on the parts that he feared the most, but that wasn’t in the cards. He hurried home, Tuesday night, wanting to shower before Kurt arrived. However, instead of finding the apartment empty like he expected, someone was dozing on his couch.

“Cooper?” Blaine asked throwing his bag down beside his brother waking him. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Hey, squirt!” Cooper exclaimed, jumping up and bringing Blaine into a hug. 

Blaine didn’t return the gesture just repeated himself, his voice flat, “What are you doing here?”

“What can’t a brother come for a visit?” Cooper asked feigning innocence. 

“One. You live in LA. It is customary when you visit a relative across country, you call and give them notice. Two. I haven’t seen you since the Christmas before I graduated college. Three, what are you doing _ in _ my apartment? You don’t even have a key.”

Blaine was not amused. To say they didn’t have the best of relationships would be an understatement. They didn’t really have a relationship at all. 

Cooper just shrugged his shoulders, “I just told your landlady I was your brother and you had accidentally locked me out of the apartment when you left this morning. She believed me; I do have an honest face.”

“Okay, I guess I need to have a talk with Mrs. Wojak. But why are you here?” 

“I have an audition, I thought why pay for a hotel room when I could hang out with my brother for a week,” Cooper said like he was giving Blaine the best present in the world. 

“No, you can’t just show up to my apartment after ignoring me for the better part of 3 years and expect to stay with me for free.” Blaine yelled. “That is what hotels are for.”

“Squirt…” Cooper tried. 

“Don’t ‘Squirt’ me,” Blaine growled. “God, what makes you think that this is okay?”

“I’m your brother.” Cooper looked at him with sad eyes, but Blaine’s ire would not be so easily tamed.

“You are my brother who stood by while Dad did everything he could to ‘straighten me out’; who barely has spoken to me since I graduated high school; who, when our parents cut me off when they found out my engineering degree was in sound, didn’t so much as text to see if I was okay. So excuse me if I don’t feel the need to save you a few hundred dollars on a hotel room.” 

Blaine paced away in frustration, he couldn’t look at his brother. 

“Blaine,” Cooper began sounding so small, “I’m sorry I wasn’t the kind of brother you needed. I should have done more to protect you from Dad, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t even know that they cut you off until that Christmas when I asked where you were. Mom started crying, and Dad started yelling, but by then it had been months. I didn’t think you would want to hear from me, it had been so long.”

Blaine rolled his eyes, “Yes because knowing I might have one family member in my corner would have sucked so bad.”

“I’ve been a shitty brother,” Cooper admitted. “And I will go, but can I at least spend one night. I don’t want to have to find a hotel at almost midnight.”

“Shit,” Blaine exclaimed, “Fine, stay. I just have to cancel my plans.”

He pulled out his phone and sent a text to Kurt. 

**Change of plans, I can’t meet tonight. My brother was in my apartment when I got home :(**

“What kind of plans do you have at this hour?” Cooper asked.

Blaine was only half paying attention to him as he waited for Kurt to reply. “We don’t have the most conventional of schedules, we meet when we can.”

**Damn! I was looking forward to it. But what a nice surprise! How long is he here for?**

**You don’t know Cooper. Nice surprise is an exaggeration. I don’t know... too long.**

“You meet?” Cooper asked. 

“Really none of your business.” 

**Wow, I’m sorry. Not a great relationship then?**

**Don’t worry about it, it isn’t your fault. I have a crappy family.**

“I’m trying here, Blaine. Can you at least meet me halfway?”

Blaine sighed and looked up at Cooper. “Just let me finish this. And then I guess we can talk.”

He waited for Kurt to reply, feeling his brother’s eyes on him the entire time. 

**I’m still sorry. I guess just let me know when you can meet. Are we still on for Monday, do you think?**

**Thank you. I will text when I can. Monday for sure, hopefully before then.**

Blaine pocketed his phone and turned to his brother. He wasn’t sure what to say to him. Cooper never had made a habit to actually listen to him, so Blaine wasn’t sure how to talk to his brother. 

“So, boyfriend?” Cooper asked.

And of course the first question had to be one Blaine wasn’t sure how to answer. 

“Not a boyfriend,” was the evasive answer Blaine tried. 

“So a friend?” Cooper proded. 

“He’s a guy, I’ve been… seeing… I don’t know, it’s a thing.”

“A thing?” Cooper laughed, “ What does that mean?”

Blaine rolled his eyes, “You’re an adult. I’m sure you can figure it out.”

“Wait, so it’s a sex thing?” Cooper looked shocked. 

“Coop, I am almost 25 years old. I am old enough for a sex… thing,” Blaine said, sitting down on the couch, avoiding his brothers eyes. 

Cooper sat beside him, “It’s not that I don’t think you are old enough for sex, but I didn’t think it was your style is all. You don’t do ‘no strings attached.’ You weave tapestries.“

“What does that even mean?”

“I mean, you took all those rom-coms and Disney  movies to heart. You see a happy ending in the simplest of interactions,” Cooper said. 

“I do not,” Blaine said defensively. “And how the hell would you know anyway?”

“Two words. Gap Attack.” Cooper teased. 

“Oh my god, how the hell do you even know about that?!” Blaine grumbled. 

Cooper laughed, “Mom. She said you were so mortified you didn’t leave your room for a week.”

“I was 16. Don’t all 16 year olds do stupid things when they think they are in love?” Blaine groused. 

“That isn’t the only time Mom told me about, just the funniest,” Cooper teased before turning serious. “I just… this doesn’t seem like you. How long has this been going on?”

Blaine thought back. He hadn’t been counting the time since meeting Kurt. They had met in January, it was now September. “About 9 months.” Blaine finally said. 

“That is an awfully long thing,” Cooper said before laughing and looking at Blaine expectantly. 

“That’s what he said,” Blaine dutifully replied. They both broke into giggles like little kids. 

When the tittering died down, Cooper leveled him with a serious look again. “But really, that is longer than these things normally last, for me anyway.”

Blaine just shrugged.

“Well, tell me about him.” Cooper urged. 

“Well, he is about your age, I guess.” Blaine began.

“You guess?”

Blaine sighed in exasperation, “It’s not like he filled out a resume with his date of birth. We met at a bar, and now we just meet whenever we want to. We talk, the sex is great. It… it’s less complicated.”

“Are you happy?’ Cooper eyed him. 

Blaine took a deep breath, thinking.

“I am,” he said before admitting, “Sometimes, I wish it was more, but for now, it makes me happy.”

“That doesn’t sound less complicated,” Cooper pointed out. 

“So how is your love life?” Blaine deflected. It was too late to think about such things. 

Blaine ended up letting Cooper stay the rest of the week. He hated not getting to see Kurt, but he had to admit it was nice getting to know his brother again. They talked more than they ever had growing up. Cooper kept trying to steer the conversations back to Kurt, but Blaine didn’t want to dwell on the subject. He was having a hard enough time trying to sort out all his feeling without Cooper’s interference. By the time Sunday night arrived, Blaine felt he almost had a friend in his brother. He would not, however, be sad to see him go the next morning. He yearned for the simplicity of his normal routine, work, sleep, and Kurt. 

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

Blaine knocked on the door to the parlor, spying Kurt through the glass. Kurt’s face lit up with a smile when he saw Blaine standing there and rushed to unlock the door. He stood to the side and let Blaine in the shop. 

Before Kurt could say anything, Blaine’s mouth was on his in a long searing kiss. Blaine had missed him and felt hungry for him in a way he never had with anyone else. Blaine pulled back and smiled up at Kurt, “I missed you.”

“I can tell,” Kurt said breathlessly. “You’re early.” 

“I was freaking out at the apartment. It was too quiet and left too much room for my own thoughts. I thought it might be better here,” Blaine admitted. 

Kurt soothed his hand down Blaine’s arm. “You’ll be fine, I promise. You are in good hands. I just have to get things set up.” 

Kurt led Blaine through the reception area to a door. On the other side, two chairs and stations were set on each side of the room. Kurt led Blaine to the station on the back right-hand side of the studio. A black, adjustable, leather chair stood next to a shiny metal table and black, rolling stool. There were a few paintings hung on the wall, colorful portraits in such detail that Blaine almost thought they could be actual photographs. 

“Why don’t you sit, while I get things ready.” Kurt told him. Blaine sat in the big black chair while Kurt hustled around the shop, gathering what he needed.

Blaine took the chance to take in the other stations around the shop. Each seemed to have art of a different style: one pin-ups, another beautiful watercolors, the last surrealist, Dali-esque prints. 

Kurt saw him examining each station and said, “ _ Starving Artist _ isn’t just a cute name. We all really are artists, even Micah. We each use our own art to decorate our area. Callie is the watercolors, Elliott loves pin-ups and old school design, and Micah does digital art.”

“Your portraits are amazing,” Blaine said looking up at the paintings in question. 

Kurt’s eyes drifted to the paintings, too, and a smile tugged at his lips. 

“Thank you. It’s my dad, my mom, my step-mom Carol, and Finn, my brother.”

Kurt turned back to continue setting up his supplies, arranging tiny caps full of ink, his tattoo machine, and a variety of needles. Blaine tried not to eye the needles as he felt his stomach start to churn. He focused instead on the faces of the paintings. An older man with kind eyes, a bright smile and a ball cap tipped back on his head, Kurt's father. A younger woman, sunlight brightening her face, her eyes the exact shade as Kurt’s. He could see the same nose, the same high cheekbones, and the same full lips that he knew so well, even without Kurt saying anything he would have known this woman was Kurt’s mom. The other woman had a kind face, but her eyes were sad, and she was looking off into the distance. The final painting was of a young man in a red letterman's jacket. His face bore a wide, joyful grin, his face alight with life. It pained Blaine to know that the young man was dead.

“Alright, are you ready?” Kurt asked pulling Blaine’s focus from the paintings. His gut filled with ice knowing the time had come at last. 

Blaine swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. “I don’t know.”

Kurt ducked his head to look at him, clearly concerned. “We don’t have to do this. If you're not ready, we don’t have to.”

“No, I want to.” Blaine said steeling himself. “I think I just need a minute.”

Kurt grabbed Blaine’s hand. “Why don’t you talk to me, just relax,  and forget why we are here. Is your brother still in town?”

“No, he left this morning,” Blaine took the distraction Kurt offered. “He was in town for an audition for some soap opera. He said he needed to get back to LA. He had more auditions there this week.”

“He’s an actor?” Kurt asked. 

Blaine couldn’t hold back his laughter. “Well, he thinks he is anyway. I swear if it wasn’t for his trust fund and working as an extra every chance he can, he wouldn’t be able to afford rent there.”

“Ah, so you’re trust fund brats, then?” Kurt asked smirking at him. 

Blaine shook his head, averting his eyes. “No, I’m not. Being the straight actor is okay, but the gay musician just isn’t good enough, I was cut off.”

“Shit, I’m sorry Blaine.” Kurt said tugging on his hand until Blaine looked at him. “Really. I’m sorry., I had no idea. I was just trying to tease you.”

Blaine smiled sadly at him. “No, It’s fine. You couldn’t know. It’s just been a weird week.”

“Was it at least a good visit?” Kurt asked. 

“It actually was, in a strange way,” Blaine laughed feeling that ache, he got when thinking about his family begin to fade away. “We never really got along growing up. Cooper was always just enough older than me, that we didn’t really have a relationship. He’s 6 years older than me, and when we were kids that felt like eons. We were always in different stages of life, and now… it doesn’t seem that huge anymore. We are finally on the same page, so it was nice.”

Kurt smiled at him again. “I’m glad it went better than you thought. So, do you think you are ready to start?”

Blaine had to think for a second about what Kurt was talking about before he remembered why he was there. He knew he wanted to do this, and putting it off wasn’t going to help anything, so he nodded. 

“Just tell me what to do,” he said. 

“Okay first, take off your shirt and stand up. We are going to apply the stencil.”

Blaine stood and began unbuttoning his shirt. 

Kurt took in a deep breath like he was preparing himself before he spoke. “Okay, before you see the stencil, just remember that this is just the base drawing. It is going to look different when it is finished. It’s like if someone gave you a piece of sheet music but without the notations. No piano, forte, or crescendos. Just the notes. It wouldn’t be the same.”

“I trust you, Kurt,” Blaine said, looking him deep in the eyes, hoping he could see just how much he meant it. 

Kurt nodded before grabbing a notebook, and pulling out a thin piece of paper, and leading him to the very back of the shop. “Okay first we are just going to decide on placement before I transfer the stencil to your skin.”

Blaine watched the concentration as Kurt eyed his chest in a way he knew so well. It was the same intense gaze he had worn so many times. Finally, he placed the paper over Blaine’s left pec, before standing back and letting Blaine see himself in the full length mirror. He could barely see the lines through the paper but could tell that the art just belonged there. Kurt had done a great job contouring it to Blaine’s body. Blaine nodded. 

“It’s good?” Kurt asked. 

Blaine took in a deep breath, “It seems great.”

“Here, let me transfer the ink so you can see better,” Kurt said before removing the paper. He then grabbed a bottle and cleaned Blaine’s chest with alcohol before grabbing a razor and shaving the little hair that grew there. Next he rubbed something over the area. When he was done, he carefully placed the stencil in the same spot as before. 

“Okay,” Kurt smiled, “Now is the moment of truth.” He slowly peeled back the paper to reveal the design now marking his skin. 

The first word that popped into Blaine’s mind was vortex. Notes swirled out from a central point just above Blaine’s heart. Four distinct sets emerging from a single point. He could feel his mouth drop as he continued to look at the image in the mirror. 

“What do you think?” Kurt said, apprehension clear in his voice. 

Blaine blinked at himself a moment before asking, “Are they songs?” 

“Just notes,” Kurt said averting his eyes, clearly nervous. 

“I just…” Blaine felt at a loss for words. “It’s perfect. I couldn’t have come up with a better idea.”

Kurt’s face bloomed with a smile. “I’m a professional, remember?”

“You’re amazing, is what you are.” Blaine beamed. 

“Okay, well, let’s get to work.” Kurt said leading him back to the chair, with each step Blaine’s fear grew. 

“Relax,” Kurt soothed. “Just sit down, and I will talk you through everything.”

Blaine sat in the chair and watched Kurt as he sat on the stool. 

“Just listen to me for a minute,” Kurt began. “The beginning is going to be the worst. After that, your adrenaline will kick in, and it will get better.”

“What will it feel like?” Blaine asked sounding small even to himself. 

“Have you ever used a vibrator?” Kurt asked instead of answering. 

Blaine felt his cheeks flush at the question, “Yes, but I doubt it will feel like that.”

Kurt chuckled, “The machine itself moves like that. When the motor runs, it vibrates. So first you will feel the vibrations through my hand. Then you feel, almost like a scratch or like a rash, the way they burn.”

Blaine nodded, “Is there anything I can do to help.”

“Just breathe, steady and deep, and try to relax. The more you tense the muscles the more it will hurt, so just try and relax into it.” Kurt said, eyeing him carefully. 

“Okay.” Blaine said quietly, closing his eyes. He tried to control his breathing as he heard Kurt shuffling around, the pop of latex gloves, and then a warm gloved hand on his chest. His chest tightened for a moment as he heard the buzz of the machine, but he willed his body to relax. 

The first scratch of the needle caused a harsh hiss to burst out of his mouth before he forced himself to slowly breathe in. 

“You are doing a great job,” Kurt cooed. 

Blaine wasn’t sure how much time had passed, he was so focused on keeping his body relaxed, his breath even and ignoring the pain. He then noticed that the pain was less, still there but now a dull ache. He opened his eyes and watched Kurt as he carefully worked. Kurt turned to dip the needle in a pot of ink. When he turned back he noticed Blaine watching him. 

“You are a tattoo artist’s dream. You are doing fabulous. How do you feel?” Kurt said. 

Blaine smiled, “Better; it isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”

From that point on they talked as Kurt worked. The time went by faster and Blaine found it easier to ignore the pain as they talked. 

“Well I have been tattooing the longest.” Kurt bragged later. 

“Wait, I thought you and Elliott started at the same time.” 

Kurt smirked at him, “We started apprenticing at the same time, but I did my first real tattoo 2 months before he did. I worked my ass off, tattooing anything I could, oranges, grapefruits, honeydew. Pig skins were the best though and I found a butcher near my old apartment that saved most of their skins for me. Elliott liked to party, but Ethan and I would stay home most nights. We would put on a movie, and I would practice.”

“Ethan?” Blaine asked. He couldn’t remember Kurt mentioning the name before. 

Kurt’s bit his lip clearly flustered but didn’t lift his head from the tattoo. “Oh, yeah. He was my boyfriend at the time. Long gone now.”

“Oh.” Blaine said feeling small. Apparently, Kurt wasn’t always adverse to relationships. He knew it was a long time ago, but the thought didn’t make him feel any better. 

“Anyway, I like to give Elliott a hard time about it. It’s okay, he gives me a hard time about things, too. He doesn’t let me get away with shit, for long anyway. He’s a good guy. He’s my best friend.” Kurt sat up, stretching his shoulders before turning to his tray and changing out his needles. 

“So Callie is from Illinois, Micah is from Idaho, Baby is from Iowa, and you’re from Ohio, Where in the Midwest is Elliott from?” Blaine asked trying to lighten the mood again. 

“New Jersey,” Kurt deadpanned, “But how did you know I was from Ohio?” 

Blaine felt his face flush. “You said you went to high school with Mercedes Jones. I know she grew up in Lima, Ohio. I lived not far from there, in Westerville, growing up. I always love the thought of a local girl making it.”

“Small world. Do you go back to Ohio?” Kurt asked.

“Not since I graduated. I have nothing to go back to. My parents cut me off, and now it’s just me.” Blaine hoped Kurt thought the tear in his eye was from the tattoo. 

His hopes were dashed when Kurt looked at him with such compassion and said, “I’m sorry. That must be hard. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have my family.”

“It sucks, but I was never close to my family. I always felt… well like I was playing in a different key.” Blaine sighed at the thought. It was the perfect way to describe his relationship with his family. It wasn’t that they were wrong, or that he was. They weren’t fundamentally bad people, they just weren’t good together. 

“It is a little lonely during the holidays. Everyone is going home to their families. At least New York doesn’t stop, and I can always find something to do.”

Kurt was quiet for a minute, his face scrunched in a way Blaine wasn’t sure how to read. He finally took his eyes off the area he had started adding color to and said, “I wish I knew what to say, except I’m sorry. Last year, I wasn’t sure if I would get to go home for Christmas. My parents come here every year at Thanksgiving, but we had opened the shop earlier in the year, and we were struggling. We were barely making enough to cover the rent for the space and supplies. What little money I had left was going to pay my own rent. Credit cards were the only reason I didn’t starve. I didn’t have enough credit left to buy a plane ticket. It would have been the first Christmas I didn’t spend with my dad. I was a mess, but then two days before, I received an email with a ticket confirmation. My dad had paid for me to come home… I just… I admire your strength.”

They were quiet for a moment. Blaine wasn’t sure what to say. He could feel his chest tightening with emotion. He looked away from Kurt, trying to control his breathing but failing. 

“Hey,” Kurt’s voice came softly, “I need you to breathe for me.”

Blaine still couldn’t ease his breathing as another tear escaped down his cheek. 

“Please look at me,” Kurt begged, and Blaine turned his head finding shockingly blue eyes wet with unshed tears looking back at him. 

“You are a remarkably strong man. Your parents should be proud to call you their son.”

Blaine nodded his head, his heart clenching at Kurt’s words. 

“Why don’t we take a 5 minute break. Do you want a soda or water?” Kurt asked, taking off his gloves and squeezing Blaine’s hand. 

Blaine was glad when Kurt left to go get him a Coke from the fridge in the backroom. He needed a moment to gather his emotions. Hearing Kurt’s praises, outside of the bedroom, meant more to Blaine than he could have imagined. He didn’t realize how much Kurt’s approval meant to him. 

Blaine knew deep down inside that Cooper was right, although he would never admit it to him. While he no longer built dreams on a single coffee date, he was still a romantic at heart. He believed in love, and soul mates, and the magic that came with it. He clung to the idea even harder after finding out his parents love unfortunately came with conditions he couldn’t meet. 

In the light of a brightly lit tattoo shop, Blaine realized that he loved Kurt. The thought hit him like a train, all at once with full force. He wiped the remaining tears from his eyes. He wanted Kurt to be proud of him in the hopes that one day he could love him back. He squared his shoulders, took a deep breath and pushed his heartache to the past where it belonged. By the time Kurt returned, a can of Coke in his hand, Blaine had a genuine smile on his face. 

“Thank you,” Blaine said taking the offered drink from Kurt. “Not just for this,” he said lifting the can with a smile, “but for what you said. It means a lot to me.”

Kurt’s arms encircled his waist. 

“You really are amazing, and any one that can’t see that, should have their heads examined.” 

Then Kurt leaned down and kissed him long and sweet. When Kurt pulled back, he placed a single kiss on the tip of Blaine’s nose. 

“Are you ready to get back to it? We are almost done, just the color is left.”

Blaine nodded, and Kurt pulled away. As Blaine sat in the chair once more, he popped open the can and took a drink. 

As Kurt added the color to his design, they talked about life growing up in Ohio. It was hard for Blaine to picture the shy insecure boy Kurt told stories about, they were so contrary to the Kurt he knew. Part of him wished he could have been there to show Kurt what an amazing person he was. 

Blaine was just regaling Kurt with another tale from his glee club days when the buzzing of the tattoo machine quieted, and with a final wipe of the paper towel, Kurt declared, “All finished! Are you ready to see?”

Blaine’s voice had caught in his throat. He had refrained from sneaking peeks as Kurt had worked, hoping to avoid seeing the needles piercing his skin. Now the anticipation of seeing Kurt’s work was too much. Finally he croaked a “yes”. 

Kurt led him back to the mirror, standing in front of it so Blaine couldn’t see himself. “Ok, god, I hope you like it.” 

He shifted to the side. For a moment, Blaine’s eyes couldn’t seem to focus, and then there it was, with vibrant colors standing out against his tan skin. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He understood now what Kurt had meant before about the sketch not being a full representation of the final product. Now colors joined the swirling notes, that now seemed to burst out of his chest. He could now see four distinct waves of notes that fanned out from the central point. Red, blue, yellow and purple, merging into each other. 

Blaine stood there blinking, unable to fully grasp that this beautiful art was on his skin forever. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kurt shift nervously. 

“It’s unbelievable,” he finally whispered, still in awe. 

He turned to Kurt just in time to see his face burst into the most beautiful, genuine smile.

“Really?” 

“Really,” Blaine confirmed, “I… it is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

He could see the blush painting Kurt’s cheek as he tried to contain his smile. 

“Let’s… get you cleaned up and covered. And then… let’s go up to my place.”

Blaine swallowed hard before breathlessly saying, “Yeah, ok.”

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

Blaine pulled the door open, Kurt was standing there a tired yet happy look in his eye.

“Long day?” Blaine asked before pulling him into a kiss. 

When he pulled back, Kurt said, “Mmm, I just finished a ten hour back piece. There is a reason I usually don’t do sessions that long. It is hard for the client and harder for me; but they are leaving tomorrow to go back home.”

“You didn’t have to come, I could have come over tomorrow.” Blaine sighed, rubbing his hands up and down Kurt’s arms. 

Kurt smiled, that gleam in his eye. 

“But I wanted to see you tonight. What do you think got me through?”

Then Kurt’s mouth was on his, hungry and wanting. Blaine’s heart had leapt at Kurt’s admission, and his fervor matched Kurt’s. Blaine started kissing his way down Kurt’s neck. 

“Uh uh uh,” Kurt admonished, “First things first.”

In the three weeks since getting his tattoo, every time they would meet Kurt insisted on inspecting the site. Dutifully, Blaine pulled his shirt above his head, he knew there was no point in protesting, even if he wanted to. He didn’t though; he loved to watch the way Kurt’s eyes would darken every time he looked at his art on Blaine’s skin. 

“I would say you are fully healed, Mr. Anderson,” Kurt said, lightly running his hand over the area. “You still need to take care of it like you have, just to be safe.” 

He then placed a kiss on each note making Blaine’s breath come out in needy whisps. That was new. 

When Kurt moved his attention to Blaine’s nipples Blaine managed to say, “Wait, I wanted to take care of you.”

“What do you mean?” Kurt breathed against his skin. 

Blaine’s breath hitched, hardly able to find his voice as Kurt’s hands roved over his body. “I thought you might like a massage.”

Kurt’s mouth found his, sucking Blaine’s tongue into his mouth, eliciting the most sinful of noises before humming against his lips. 

“You always have the best ideas.”

Blaine led Kurt to his bed. When they got there, he pushed gently on Kurt’s shoulders until he was sitting on the edge of the bed. He knelt at Kurt’s feet, and looking up at him in what he hoped was a seductive way, began removing Kurt’s boots and socks. His hands danced up Kurt’s legs, feeling his muscles flex under them, avoiding his cock, which was already obvious through the tight fabric of his jeans, until he reached his belt. Without a word, Blaine undid it, before slipping the button through its hole and sliding the zipper down carefully. Kurt lifted his ass off the bed just enough for Blaine to remove both jeans and underwear at once. Kurt gave a surprised gasp as Blaine nuzzled his cheek against the long hard shaft and kissed his inner thigh. Blaine couldn’t tempt himself further, so instead of taking Kurt’s bare cock in his mouth he stood over him kissing him until Kurt was making beautifully desperate noises. 

He then pulled Kurt’s shirt up over his head and growled, “Lay down on your stomach.” 

Blaine watched has Kurt bit his lip before crawling up the bed and laying on his stomach. The sight of Kurt’s fabulously pert ass filled Blaine with such longing, but the knowledge that that was something Kurt was not comfortable with meant the thought didn’t linger. Instead, Blaine pushed his pants down, grabbed oil out of his bedside table, and crawled up until he was sitting on that ass instead. 

He poured a liberal amount of oil in his hands, rubbing them together to warm the liquid. He started gently massaging first Kurt’s neck feeling the tension there release under his deft hands. Slowly, Blaine worked all the kinks and knots out of Kurt’s shoulders and back, all while Kurt released the most enticing noises. 

Blaine had just lifted up, intent on beginning again at Kurt’s shoulders, when Kurt flipped over underneath him. The movement shocked Blaine, almost making him lose his balance. When he sat back down their cocks met accompanied by a duet of delighted moans. 

“God, it feels like forever since I saw you last,” Kurt cried, clenching Blaine’s thighs. 

Blaine undulated his hips, rubbing their cocks together before teasing, “I saw you yesterday morning.”

Kurt ran a finger over Blaine’s hole, wanting to tease him back in a lusciously dirty way only for it to be ready and open for him. 

“You already prepared yourself,” Kurt rasped. 

“I’ve been thinking about this since you texted me two hours ago.” Blaine nipped at his ear. 

“Fuck, could you be anymore perfect?” Kurt growled. 

Blaine preened at the comment before reaching for the condom and lube he already had waiting. He didn’t take his time rolling the condom on, he just wanted Kurt inside him as soon as possible. Before he was finished, Kurt’s hand was already dripping with lube, ready to slather his dick. Blaine couldn’t help but smile down at Kurt as he lowered himself, filling himself with Kurt’s cock. 

The burn and pull was perfect as he began to move. Kurt’s eyes were wide as he watched Blaine fuck himself, over and over again. His hands traced over Blaine’s muscles before latching onto his hips. 

“God, you really are perfect!”  Kurt keened.

Blaine’s breath was coming out in pants, his thighs began to ache and his rhythm to falter. “Kurt… I can’t… fuck” he babbled, feeling electrical sparks radiating all over his body. 

One of Kurt’s arms grasped Blaine waist as the other found purchase behind his knee. Before Blaine could fully comprehend what was happening he was on his back, his head almost hanging over the foot of the bed and Kurt was pounding into him perfectly and desperately. A wanton cry fell unbidden from Blaine’s lips as Kurt’s cock rammed his prostate, electrifying Blaine’s entire body. He felt he could light the entire city of New York. 

Kurt’s lips brushed over his skin, whispering words Blaine couldn’t hear over the throbbing blood that seem to fill his head as he felt the familiar tightening in his gut. Blaine’s head wobbled on his neck with the motion of Kurt fucking him, his hands scrambled before fisting in Kurt’s hair, as Kurt continued to lave over his skin, tasting every inch he could find. Blaine’s legs clamped around Kurt’s waist sending his cock deeper still as Blaine wailed his pleasure, unmindful of the neighbors. 

Blaine couldn’t catch a breath for the noises that fell from his lips, and he wasn’t sure how much more he could take before he would just cease to be. He wanted to scream his love to the man who was taking him apart, one thrust at a time, but the words would not form on his tongue. With one last shout, Blaine was coming, long white ropes painting his own chest as Kurt, buried himself deep in his ass, and with his own cry, stilled above him. 

Kurt collapsed on top of him, his breath coming in puffs over Baine’s overheated skin. It took a minute before Kurt shifted to where he could kiss into Blaine’s still gaping mouth, his cock slipping out in the process. 

“Oh my god,” Blaine heaved, his head still spinning after his orgasm. 

Kurt grabbed a wipe from the box that lived on Blaine’s beside table and gently cleaned Blaine’s chest, wiping Blaine’s come from his own. He then laid back against the pillow before whispering, “Come here.” 

Blaine willed himself to move, curling up in Kurt’s arms. Kurt kissed the top of his head as Blaine snuggled his face into Kurt’s chest. 

They lay there content, the sweat of their bodies chilling them but unwilling to move just yet. 

Soon Blaine’s mind began to wander, and a niggling in his brain would not leave him. It was something that he had been thinking about for a while now, since Kurt’s tattoo shop, in fact. 

“Can I ask you something?” Blaine finally breathed.

“Of course,” Kurt said, kissing his head once more. 

Blaine took a deep breath, “My birthday is in a couple of weeks. I’m going to be 25.”

“25, huh?” Kurt said running his hand through Blaine’s curls. 

“Yea, and I was wondering,” Blaine said tracing the New York skyline with his finger. “Could we do something?”

“Like what?” Kurt practically purred. 

“I just…” Blaine faltered, wondering if it was a good idea to ask, but needing to nonetheless. “I just want to go out on the town with you.” 

Before Blaine had even finished he knew it was a bad idea. He could feel Kurt’s muscles stiffen under his cheek. 

“It’s your birthday,” Kurt began sitting up. Blaine had no choice but to do the same. “Don’t you want to spend it with the people who mean the most to you?”

Blaine’s heart clenched. “Kurt…” 

He watched helplessly as Kurt stood up his back to him. “Don’t,” Kurt whispered. 

The words were already out of his mouth, “ _ You _ mean more to me than anyone else I know.”

“Dammit, Blaine,” Kurt sighed. 

“No,” Blaine said, hating the desperate way he sounded. “Please.”

Kurt turned to him his eyes wet and frantic, “You don’t mean that, how can you? I can’t be what you want.”

Blaine took a deep breath and tried again. 

“All I am asking for is one night, just one night out with you. I don’t understand what the problem is.”

“It’s not that simple. I wish it was.” Kurt’s voice sounded broken and small. 

“I just want to spend time with you, is that too much to ask?” Blaine growled his frustration rising. 

“I can’t do this. This isn't what…” Kurt began but Blaine didn’t want to hear it.

“No, you can’t just shut me out! I tried to play by your rules, but I can’t help how I feel.”

Kurt reached for his pants and began pulling them on, stumbling in his desperation. 

“I can’t do this.” 

“I am not a robot, Kurt. You can’t expect me to spend 10 months with you and feel nothing! God, I love you, and you can’t even look at me!” Blaine cried. 

At the word ‘love’ Kurt’s eyes had shot to Blaine. Fear, panic, and dread the only emotions there. 

“I can’t be what you need,” he cried, snatching up the rest of his clothes, and half naked, ran out of the room. 

Blaine crumbled onto the bed, the smells of sex, and sweat, and Kurt enveloping him as his throat choked with tears. He cried himself to sleep, only thinking that he had ruined everything. He knew the rules and still fucked up. 

  
  



	8. Chapter 8

Blaine sat watching a few of his friends on the dance floor. This was supposed to be his birthday party, but he didn’t feel like celebrating. He longed to return to his apartment, curl up in his bed, and forget everything, if only for a little while. Instead, he sat in a back booth of a noisy bar, nursing a drink while feeling sorry for himself. 

In the weeks since Kurt had walked out the door, he had tried valiantly to move on with his life, to ignore the part of himself that still longed for Kurt, and lock away his love, hoping it would fade. He knew he wouldn’t be hearing from Kurt again. Blaine had blocked his number. It had taken him three days to do so, and the finality of the action did little to ease his suffering. Nothing was working, though, to dull the ache he felt. He tried to put on the façade that nothing was wrong, but those around him clearly saw through it. He was tired of lying that he was okay. 

His friends knew that something was wrong, the people at work were worried, his work was suffering, but Blaine couldn’t talk to any of them. They hadn’t known about Kurt while they were a thing. He didn’t know how to explain it; and so he had kept silent. Who was he to turn to now that Kurt was gone? None of them could understand what he meant to Blaine. 

_ This is the worst birthday ever, _ Blaine thought feeling the burn of the alcohol as it slipped down his throat. He held back a bitter laugh as he remembered his 23rd which was almost as bad. Then he had waited all day for his parents to call, the silence drove the point home that he had lost them forever. The only real bright spot this year had been the call from Cooper. He may have lost his parents love, but gaining a real relationship with his brother almost made up for it. Cooper didn’t judge him, or expect anything from him, something Blaine couldn’t ever have said about his parents. Hearing Blaine’s dull voice, Cooper had asked what was wrong. All Blaine had to say was ‘Tapestries’; and Cooper being a kind big brother changed the subject. He did a good job making Blaine laugh, his first genuine one since Kurt had walked out of his door for the last time. 

Nick sat down across from him, sweat dripping from his forehead, a smile filling his face.

“OK birthday boy, why aren’t you out on the dance floor? You live to dance!”

“I’m just not feeling up to it. I have a headache;” Blaine said, trying to smile.

“Bullshit,” Nick retorted, “Listen, we know something is up. You’ve been down lately and… dude, we’re worried about you. I’ve known you the longest, so I was voted to find out what the hell is going on.”

Blaine looked over at their friends who were watching them, barely dancing anymore, anxious looks on their faces. 

“If I told you I didn’t want to talk about it, would you let it go?” Blaine asked. 

Nick shook his head, “Seriously Blaine,  _ I’m  _ worried about you. I’m your friend, you can tell me anything.”

“I am… I was seeing someone, sort of.” Blaine began. “I guess I got in too far over my head, I fell too hard; and he ended it. But I don’t understand why, and that makes it worse.”

“I didn’t know you were dating anyone,” Nick said, looking confused. 

Blaine rubbed his forehead, feeling a real headache coming on: 

“We were sleeping together; not dating.”

“Oh,” Nick said looking a little shocked. “Have you tried to talk to him?” 

“Nope,” Blaine said downing the last of his drink. “I gave him a few days, but then I blocked his number. As much as I would like to understand, I don’t think I can put myself through that.”

“There are other guys out there,” Nick said clapping him on the shoulder. 

Blaine didn’t have the energy to tell Nick that he had loved Kurt and getting over him wasn’t as simple as going out and dating again. He couldn’t tell him that he needed time to mourn what could have been. How could he explain the hole he felt in his gut at Kurt’s absence? Instead he just nodded and stood to go order another drink. 

By the time Blaine returned to his table, Nick must have told their friends what he had said. They tried harder to draw him out, to get him on the dance floor, but the music held no allure for Blaine; not tonight. Instead, he drowned his sorrow in alcohol, hoping to at least numb the ache for a while. Eventually, they left him alone to drink, keeping an eye on him as they tried to enjoy their night. 

It was late when Blaine finally trudged his way back to his apartment. His mind was sluggish. At least he didn’t have to think for a while. The cold, late October air stung his cheeks, and he hunched his shoulders against the biting wind. The warmth of the small lobby of his building burned his skin as he stumbled to his mailbox, fighting to insert his key in the small hole.  A few letters filled the box and he mindlessly grabbed them before securing the box again. Alone in his empty apartment, he tossed the pile on the table by the door and flung himself in bed without bothering to undress or even turn on the light, just ready to welcome the oblivion of sleep. 

The next morning, Blaine woke to the worst hangover he had ever had. He felt like death warmed over and hoped a hot shower and coffee would help. He stripped his clothes off, adding them to the growing piles on the floor before heading to the bathroom. Water beat unrelentingly down his back, washing away some of the sick feeling he had woken with. Feeling half alive, he stepped out of the shower and wrapped his towel around his waist. He took a washcloth and wiped the condensation off the mirror to assess the damage from last night. 

His eyes were bloodshot and cradled by deep, purpled bags, his face pale and worn. Stubble dotted his cheeks, but he didn’t have the energy to shave. Then his eyes fell to his tattoo stark against his wet skin. His heart clenched at the sight. As much as he wanted to hate it, wanted to not have the constant reminder of Kurt etched into his skin; he couldn’t help but feel comfort from it. It was living proof that whatever Kurt may say on the subject, he had understood Blaine more deeply than anyone else ever had. He had seen Blaine, known him, and created something beautiful with that knowledge. He ran his hand over the notes, remembering the compassion Kurt had shown that day, a sad smile on his face. 

When coffee didn’t do the trick to make Blaine feel better, he ordered the greasiest meal he could find that would deliver, not wanting to leave the house unless he had to. Once it arrived, he thanked the delivery boy and opened the sack. The smell was intoxicating and for the first time in two weeks, he was famished. He demolished the bacon chili cheeseburger and large fries in record time. He felt full and surprisingly all right. 

He looked around the apartment, appalled at what he saw. Clothes lay about in piles around the floor, take out containers and cans scattered across every flat surface. It was like waking up after a long sleep. He remembered not caring enough to pick up after himself but hadn’t registered just how bad things had gotten. He still felt broken inside but knew we couldn’t keep going like this. He had to force himself to move on; he couldn’t dwell on the things he couldn’t fix. He needed to put his life back together, starting with his apartment. 

It took all day but by nightfall the apartment looked liveable again. Not for the first time, he was glad his apartment had a washer and dryer, although its  small size meant that there was still some washing to be done, but the piles were now neatly stacked on the floor in front of it. 

As he looked back around his apartment, he was pleased with what he saw. His eyes then fell on the small stack of letters on the entry table. He flipped through the stack, mostly sales papers, but two envelopes stood out among them. The first was a birthday card from his dotty aunt, who apparently didn’t remember that he was persona non grata in the family. 

Still smiling, he flipped over the second envelope and slit it open. His eyes skittered across the paper, not reading just trying to glean who it was from. They fell on the name at the bottom of the page. His stomach lurched when he read the name Kurt in shaky script. 

He drew in a shuddering breath and walked to the couch were he flopped down, his knees feeling weak. He looked at the paper unseeing for a moment just wondering what Kurt could possibly have to say to him now, after everything. 

Finally, he centered himself and began to read. 

_ Blaine,  _

_ I know you probably don’t want anything to do with me, and I honestly don’t blame you, but I need to talk to you. I owe you an apology for the way I acted, and I want to explain. I hate the thought that I hurt you. It is killing me knowing what I did. I’ve tried to text and call, but since my calls keep going to voicemail, I think it is safe to assume that you have blocked my number. I thought about camping out in front of your apartment, but that seems a little too creepy. I want to give you the choice if you want to see me or not. I’ll try to wait for your reply. You know how to contact me if you want to. I would love to hear from you.  _

_ -Kurt _

Blaine inspected the letter, not just the words, but the strokes that created them and the splotches that smudged some. The words were obviously carefully chosen. He could see where Kurt had erased certain words, the letters replacing them wobbly in a way those surrounding them weren’t. The splotches told Blaine that he had been crying while writing them, something Blaine could hardly believe. He resisted the urge to pick up the phone and call Kurt. As much as he wanted closure he wasn’t sure if he was ready to listen to what Kurt had to say, if he was ready to open himself up to that kind of hurt. Not yet. In the end, he decided to see just how much Kurt was willing to let him set the terms. 

From that day on, life got a little easier for Blaine to get through. He still felt bruised and wounded, but each day he felt a little more whole than the last. He found it easier to do his job, and he could listen to the music and not hear the echo of words in his head. He went out with friends, having to pretend less each time that he was enjoying himself. 

October faded into November, the days turned even colder, and Blaine found himself smiling at the first snow. He still missed Kurt, and if he examined his feelings, he would have found that he still loved him, but he no longer felt on the verge of tears at the thought of him. 

In mid-November another letter came. He knew what it was as soon as he pulled the envelope out of the mailbox. He felt like a vice grip was around his heart as he stared at it. It weighed heavy in his hand as he walked to his apartment. He tossed it on his bed and quickly changed into his pajamas and wrapped himself in a blanket before taking the letter up again. Something told him that he needed the comfort to face what lay in the letter. With shaky hands he slit the envelope open.

_ Blaine,  _

_ I haven’t heard from you, and I know I said that I would wait, but I had to get this out. I can’t let it go until I can get this out. You can read this when you are ready, even if that time is years from now.  _

Blaine paused, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to hear what Kurt had to say, he wasn’t ready for a second round of rejection, but if he didn’t read it now, he was afraid he never would. 

_ First I want to say that my reaction that night had next to nothing to do with you. I have a lot of baggage, and looking back on it I reacted inappropriately. If I regret anything in my life, I regret doing anything to hurt you. If I could go back and agree to a wonderful night on the town, I would. In fact, I am sorry we never had the chance, and I am sorry that it was my fault we didn’t.  _

_ Growing up in Ohio, I was the only out kid I knew. I longed for romance and love more than anything else. I couldn’t wait to get to New York, to be swept off my feet and live happily ever after. I was such a hopeless romantic, if you can believe that.  _

Blaine tried to picture a younger Kurt, watching his peers and yearning for what they had and took for granted. He knew that feeling well, having lived it throughout most of high school. 

_ New York was not all I imagined it to be, though. My classmates were horrible, and I didn’t have any friends, nor did I know how to meet people in such a big city. That first year, I think I was lonelier than I ever was back home. Romance was not in the air for me, it seemed. I didn’t even have my first date until well into my sophomore year.  _

_ I met Ethan at a coffee shop. I was working on sketches for class, and he asked me about them. He was older, a senior accounting major at NYU. We were complete opposites. He was a little taken back when I told him I was working in a tattoo shop, but he didn’t seem too bothered. I finally thought I was going to have my epic romance, but reality was a little different. I learned a lot about myself in the two years we were together; what I liked, what I didn’t, what turned me on. I liked that we stayed home most nights,.I thought it was sweet he would sit with me while I practiced tattooing on whatever I could get my hands on. I thought things were going well. I was happy. Ethan wasn’t though, it seems.  _

_ I came home late one day from helping at the shop, and Ethan was there, packing the few things he had at my place. When I asked him what was going on, I saw a completely different person. He spat ugly things at me, telling me I was too focused on a job that no respectful person would be caught dead doing. He was tired of me working such late nights. I think the most hurtful thing he said to me was that he had only stayed for the sex, but even that wasn’t worth the hassle that it was dating me.  _

Blaine couldn’t imagine a boyfriend, saying such hurtful things. All his own break ups had been fairly amicable. Even Kurt hadn’t thrown hateful words at him. 

_ I’m not the kind of person to let words get to me. I had enough ugliness thrown at me in high school, but to hear someone I thought loved me speak to me that way, to be called an inconvenience, and to have my love thrown back at me as not worth someone’s time, it hurt.  _

_ I tried to move on. I dated a few different guys. But, have you ever been told something so many times you begin to believe it, even if you think there is no way it could be true? Each guy I was with said basically the same things. I was too distant, I was too needy, I worked too much, my hours were impossible to deal with. The only thing they seemed to agree on, my only saving grace, was I was a good fuck.  _

_After a few years of that, I decided if sex was all I was good for then, so be it. I_ _was tired of getting hurt, I was tired of opening my heart to someone only to be made to feel like I wasn’t good enough. I vowed that I wouldn’t let anyone else hurt me like that. If I didn’t let anyone in, they couldn’t hurt me._

Suddenly Kurt’s guarded nature made more sense to Blaine. He wished he had known. 

_ But I am not a eunuch, and I enjoyed sex. I wasn’t ready to give that up. So I started my no dating, sex only rule. It was great for awhile. I could protect my heart, and the sex was fun. One night stands and the occasional booty call. I didn’t feel anything for them, and so they had no power to hurt me. It worked for me.  _

_ Until it didn’t.  _

Blaine’s blood ran cold, he wasn’t ready for Kurt to talk about them yet. As he continued reading he realized it wasn’t him at all. 

_ I had been seeing this one guy for a while. We had a thing kind of like you and me, but he wasn’t anything like you. He was just an ordinary guy, the sex was fine, but there was no real spark there. One day he asked me if we could be something more. Even if I wanted a relationship, I wouldn’t have chosen him. I could barely hold a conversation with him, so I knew a relationship wouldn’t work. I turned him down as gently as I could, just told him I didn’t think it was a good idea, and maybe we should stop seeing each other for a while. _

_ I thought he took it well, all he asked for was one more night together, and he wanted to top. I used to love to bottom, not all the time, but just losing myself to pleasure without having to be in control was its own special intoxication. I agreed.  _

Blaine suddenly didn’t want to know why Kurt no longer bottomed. With dread he forced himself to read on. 

_ Things started out like normal, if a little hurried on his part. I didn’t think anything of it. But then, he was rough, rougher than usual.  He held me down hard and just took what he wanted. He didn’t care that he was hurting me, or that I was crying and my erection was gone; he didn’t relent. I was more scared than I have ever been in my life. It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with what really happened to me. I never thought about it as rape, because I consented, and I never actually said no, or told him to stop. The words wouldn’t come, I couldn’t breathe with the pain and his pressure on me. It’s only been in the last couple of months after I opened up about it to other people, that I realized that I was raped.  _

Blaine felt sick to his stomach, a tear escaping his eye. He had no idea Kurt had been through something like that. He was still hurt and mad but wouldn’t wish that on his worst enemy. 

_ When he finished, I knew something was wrong, more wrong than what had just happened to me. He claimed the condom broke, I couldn’t bring myself to see if it really had. I was always safe before, safer than most of my partners thought necessary, and suddenly none of that mattered anymore. He tried to make light of it saying he was clean, but I’d only known him a couple of months, and he had just shown me he was someone I couldn’t trust.  _

_ I had always been diligent about getting tested every 6 months, but never before was I terrified about the results.   _

Blaine always felt testing was a necessary evil but had never worried about what the results would be. He couldn’t imagine living with that uncertainty.

_ I swore off men all together. I wasn’t good enough for anyone to date, and I couldn’t face the prospect of casual sex, not while feeling like a walking time bomb. I was tested right away, but I knew I wasn’t in the clear for at least a year.  _

_ I focused on myself in that time, all the while fearing what a positive test result would mean. It wouldn’t only ruin my health and my life but also my career. HIV is rarely spread while tattooing, but the stigma alone could have been enough to wreck it.  _

_ I had told Elliott only about the condom break. I pushed the other thing out of my mind, not ready to face it. We decided to open the shop together. Our thought was that if I didn’t feel comfortable tattooing, I could at least run things. My final test result came back negative just before we were set to open. _

_ I already told you that things were rough when we first opened, barely scraping by. Even though I knew I was clean, I still couldn’t bring myself to go back to the way things were before. I missed sex but not enough to put myself in that position again.  _

_ I was working hard, and it seemed like enough.  _

_ Then in January, business picked up, and for the first time we were making real money. Elliott convince me to go out and celebrate. We ended up going to an old dive bar we used to go to when we were still just poor apprentices, for old times’ sake.  _

_ And then I saw you.  _

Blaine put the letter down and threw the blankets off. He wasn’t ready to hear Kurt talk about them. He couldn’t keep reading. He paced his apartment, needing to move, wanting to distance himself from the words on the paper. This was all too much. He never imagined Kurt’s past before. Now that he knew what kind of lens Kurt was seeing their relationship through, he couldn’t face it. He couldn’t ignore it for long. He had been longing for closure; he needed to know everything. So he scrambled back in bed and picked up the papers.  

_ You were absolutely mesmerizing, dancing with such abandon, led purely by the music. I couldn’t keep my eyes off you. No matter where you were, my eyes were drawn to you. Of course Elliott noticed. He didn’t know the whole story,  just enough to explain my change, but he kept telling me to go for it. I tried to tell him all the reasons why I shouldn’t. I didn’t want to go down that road again, I was happy alone, I didn’t need the complication in my life, so much bullshit about why I shouldn’t. I was ready to walk out of the bar, and he said to me, ‘Stop letting yourself be afraid to feel. You can’t guard yourself forever.’ I knew he was right, I just wasn’t sure how to do it. _

_ That first night I was ready to lose myself to you. I meant it when I said we could be something more. I was ready to try again for real, but I woke up the next morning, and you were gone. _

Blaine tried to hold back his tears, knowing that he was part of the reason they hadn’t been a couple from the start. He was also angry at Kurt for not giving him that chance. 

_ After we met at the coffee shop, I wasn’t sure what I wanted. In the end I was too scared to let you in completely and convinced myself it was better to guard my heart as I had before. _

_ But being with you, it got to be too much. No matter what I tried, my walls weren't strong enough to keep you out. You would murmur questions, and I couldn’t stop myself from answering. I wanted to learn about you, too. You made me feel so much, and it scared the shit out of me, but not seeing you was worse. When I told you that the shop was crazy, that was only partially true. We were busy, but I was also actively avoiding you. I needed the distance.  _

It gave Blaine little comfort to know that Kurt had tried to distance himself from him and his feelings. 

_ I tried. I tried to stay away, but I couldn’t sleep. I would lay awake at night wondering; if I was doing the right thing, what you were doing, if you missed me, too. When I saw you at the restaurant, you looked so sad, and I couldn’t stand the fact that I was hurting both of us. Life was so much better with you in it. I was still scared, but I couldn’t stay away, and I couldn’t keep lying to myself. _

Blaine wanted to know what he was lying to himself about. He hoped in a sadistic way Kurt loved him, too, but couldn’t imagine it would be true. 

_ Sitting on your floor eating take-out together, laughing and talking, it was the best night of my life. It felt so natural just being with you. When I didn’t have to think, when I could just be with you, it was easy. You made me happy. I wanted to try, I wanted just to be with you, I wanted to be happy. I was happy, in those moments we were together. I was happier than I had ever been. The problem was the times we weren’t together. Doubts kept creeping in, I kept waiting for the time when you would realize that I wasn’t worth the hassle.   _

Blaine wanted to yell at Kurt; he wished he was there so he could shake him and point out that he happily met him whenever he could. He never thought of him as an inconvenience. He loved spending every moment he could with him. 

_ Still, I was determined to try. I tried to show you how I felt in little ways; whispered words into your skin, being more open with you, my art.  _

Blaine remembered the way Kurt would whisper unheard words, and how much more he would talk about his life. He just wasn’t sure what he meant by art, unless he was talking about Blaine’s tattoo. 

_ I wanted so much to be with you, have a real relationship, but I was scared.  _

_ When you asked me to do something on your birthday, at first I couldn’t understand why you wouldn’t want to spend time with your friends. As soon as I asked, when you said my name, I was so afraid of what you would say.  _

_ But when you said I meant the most to you, that you loved me. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe that it was true. See, how could you love me when I couldn’t love myself, when it has been proven time and time again that I am unlovable and never what someone wants for long?  _

Blaine wished Kurt had stayed, would have waited and listened. Blaine wished he could have told Kurt how amazing he was. 

_ I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think. The world felt like it was closing in on me, and I just had to get out of there. I hadn’t had a panic attack in over a year, but I couldn’t control it. I ran for a couple of blocks before I just collapsed on the sidewalk. I don’t remember much, just not being able breathe, being cold, and crying. Some women found me, stopped, asked if I needed help, if they could call someone. I must have said Elliott’s name because he came and picked me up. He got me calmed down, and I told him everything.  _

Blaine wished Kurt had talked to him. He wished his was the name Kurt had said. Maybe things would be different, maybe Blaine wouldn’t be so wounded and raw at the thought of Kurt. 

_ It was the first time I ever told anyone everything. I’ve opened up to people more about parts of it since then, but only a few people know it all: Elliott, my therapist, and now you. When my dad comes for Thanksgiving, I plan to tell him.  _

_ While Elliott was understanding, he also yelled at me for being a dumbass. He pointed out to me that while lying is easy, it is hard to act like you care for someone.  _

Blaine was glad that someone finally told Kurt what he needed to hear, even if it wasn’t him. He did wonder why he hadn’t heard from Kurt. That was what hurt the most. 

_ I realize now that I lost something special when I pushed you away. I am so sorry. I don’t expect you to forgive me. I just wanted you to understand that I am not the asshole you must think I am. My past doesn’t excuse my actions. I know that. I am working on my issues. I’ve started painting again, just having that outlet. Being able to create just for me and not a client, it’s helping.  I’m seeing a therapist a couple of times a week. She told me to write this letter, although I doubt she intended for me to send it.  _

Blaine was glad Kurt was getting help; from the sounds of it he needed it long ago. It didn’t ease Blaine’s pain, though. 

_ I needed you to know everything. That includes the hardest things for me to admit.  _

_ I loved you. (I still do, but I know that I have ruined my chance with you. I am coming to terms with it, and maybe one day I can move on.)  _

Blaine couldn’t hold back his tears. The ache in his chest grew. He longed for Kurt, but as much as he loved him, he didn’t know if he could put himself through it again. 

_ I knew for a long time. I just couldn’t tell you, but I did do something in my own way to show you, and I hate myself for it. I lied to you, about your tattoo. They aren’t just random notes. I’m including the original sketch. If you want to cover it up Elliott has offered to do it for free. Just call the shop, and Baby can set it up. I won't be there.  _

_ I hope you find happiness. That is all I want for you, to be happy.  _

_ I am sorry for everything,  _

_ Kurt _

Blaine shuffled the paper to the back, behind it was a perfect representation of his tattoo, except for the staff lines now added. Blaine clutched the papers to himself and cried. He couldn’t bring himself to find out what songs Kurt chose to ink into his skin forever. Instead, he laid in bed and thought about all the things he had learned about Kurt. He didn’t know if it changed things for him. He had a lot to think about.

  
  



	9. Chapter 9

It took two days before Blaine could bring himself to looking properly at the sketch Kurt had sent him. He still didn’t know how to feel about all that Kurt had revealed to him in his letter. He waffled between understanding and it not being enough for him to forgive Kurt. He was even more torn about the idea of Kurt hiding songs in his tattoo and lying about it. 

Even after Kurt left, Blaine had found comfort in the tattoo. Not knowing what songs Kurt had chosen for him was killing him, but he was afraid of what he would find. Finally his need to know became larger than his fear, and he pulled his keyboard out of his closet. 

Blaine propped the sketch against the music stand. He took a deep breath before focusing on the first staff. As he played, it didn’t take him long to recognize the iconic song.  _ I Can’t Help Falling in Love With You.  _ A small smile played on his lips before he moved on to the second swirled staff. 

Tears sprang to his eyes as he recognized the melody. He played and sang the song in its entirety, even once the notes on the page had dwindled away.  _ More than Words _ . Blaine had hoped that he had shown Kurt how he felt. For so long, he had loved Kurt but couldn’t use his words to show him. Had Kurt noticed, or was that what he was longing for?

It took a little longer for Blaine to figure out the third song. He knew he had heard it before but couldn’t place when or where. It took four times through before the words flooded into his brain.  _ If I Fell.  _ It seemed to Blaine that Kurt had a thing for The Beatles. He couldn’t blame him; they were one of his favorites, too. The song though, he couldn’t have picked a better song for Kurt to sing to him. It echoed everything he had told Blaine in his letter. 

He took a deep shuddering breath and turned his attention to last piece of music. As soon as he recognized it, he knew for certain that these were not songs from Blaine, but songs to Blaine from Kurt.  _ I Want to Know What Love Is _ was Kurt’s plea to Blaine, it was clear. ‘In my life there's been heartache and pain, I don't know if I can face it again, Can't stop now, I've traveled so far, to change this lonely life. I want to know what love is, I want you to show me, I want to feel what love is, I know you can show me’, this was Kurt crying out to him. He wished he had known before it was too late. He would have gladly shown Kurt what love could be like, if he had only been given the chance. 

_ But it’s too late,  _ Blaine thought bitterly. 

The letter and the music seemed to be the closure that Blaine needed. He had done all that he could do to show Kurt he loved him, but either he hadn’t seen, or it wasn’t enough. Knowing the songs that were a part of his tattoo, didn’t change the way he thought about it. It was still art, created by a man who saw him for a moment for what he was. He wasn’t going to cover that up. He still missed Kurt, he probably always would, but the pain was less acute. 

Later that week, when Nick offered to set Blaine up with the new intern at the law firm he was working at, Blaine accepted. He needed to move on.

They met on a Tuesday night at a quaint little restaurant in the East Village. Brendan was waiting for him at a table, a glass of wine already in front of him. Brendan talked at Blaine while he was looking over the menu, telling him about law school. He didn’t change the subject after the waitress left with their order. 

When Brendan took a sip of his wine, Blaine took his chance to talk. 

“I don’t know if Nick told you, but I work in music.”

“How... fun.” Brendan smiled before telling him about yet another case study they had learned about. At least this time it was about a music copyright. 

Blaine was planning on ways to murder Nick as Brendan prattled on, even when their waitress approached with their food. As she set his plate down in front of him, her shirt sleeve pulled up revealing a beautiful watercolor lily tattoo on her wrist. 

“Nice tat,” Blaine smiled at her.

Her face lit up with a smile, “Thank you, I got it in this shop down in Hell’s Kitchen. The artists there are amazing.”

“Callie?” Blaine asked. 

“How did you know?” The waitress beamed. 

“I’ve heard a lot about her work. Watercolors are her specialty.” 

He was finding more interest in this conversation than listening to any more law stories. 

The waitress glanced over at Brendan who did not look amused. 

“Well enjoy your meal, I had better go,” she hurried to say. 

“Really, that was very unprofessional.” Brendan commented.

Blaine couldn’t help his incredulous look, “What was unprofessional?”

“First flashing her tattoo at her place of work and then talking about it. As if anyone wants to hear about that. No self-respecting person…”

“What? Has a tattoo?” Blaine interrupted.

“Well, yes.” He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

Blaine stood up and fished a fifty out of his wallet. 

“Maybe you should think about other people before you open your mouth. You happen to be sitting across from a self-respecting professional with a tattoo who doesn't make it a habit of dating judgmental assholes who don’t understand that a conversation involves two people. Enjoy your meal.” 

He passed the waitress on the way out of the restaurant and placed the money in her hand. 

“This is for my meal and your tip.”

“You’re leaving?” she asked. 

When Blaine nodded she sighed. “Thank god, you are way too cute to be with a stuffed shirt like that.”

Blaine laughed as he walked away, feeling lighter than he had all week. He walked mindlessly for a while, just enjoying feeling happy, truly happy, for the first time in what felt like forever. Snow crunched under his boots, and the cold wind stung his cheeks making him feel alive.

_ I wish Kurt was here,  _ he thought and then stopped in his tracks. It didn’t hurt; it was a wistful longing. Without further thought, Blaine made a decision. 

Blaine soon stood in front of a green door with a brass number 4 on it. He took a deep breath before knocking. 

“Blaine,” Kurt gasped, his face turning pale as he saw him standing in front of him. 

“Hi,” was all Blaine could think to say. 

Just then he heard a man’s voice coming from Kurt’s bedroom. 

“Kurt, are you coming or not?”

Blaine felt his insides turn to ice. 

“It looks like you’re busy, I should just...” he began turning to walk away, cursing his impulsivity. 

“Wait,” Kurt practically yelled grabbing his wrist with a light tug. “It’s my dad, I’m not… it’s just my dad, he came early for Thanksgiving.”

Behind Kurt an older man wearing a winter vest and ball cap walked out of the bedroom. Blaine would have recognized him anywhere.  

“Bud, you got company?” He asked. 

A blush painted Kurt’s cheeks. 

“Dad, this is Blaine. Blaine, this is my dad, Burt.”

Burt’s face widened in a friendly grin as he shook Blaine’s hand. 

“Blaine, it’s nice to meet you, Kurt has told me all about you.”

Out of the corner of his eye Blaine could see Kurt cross his arms across his chest uncomfortably. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Hummel,” Blaine said, trying to hide his own discomfort in politeness. 

“Well, it’s getting late. I should probably head back to my hotel now,” Mr. Hummel announced. 

“But…” Kurt stuttered only to be cut off by his father. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow. You’ll be fine, Bud” 

And then he was walking out the door. 

Kurt stared at his retreating father for a few seconds before turning to Blaine awkwardly. 

“Do you want to come in?”

“I… I don’t know if that is a good idea,” he said looking into the living room. 

It had changed since he had been there last. It was neat, and the boxes were gone. 

Kurt seemed to be thinking. 

“There is an all night diner a couple of blocks away. We could talk?”

That was exactly what Blaine wanted to do. He needed to talk to Kurt away from the temptation of a bed.

“I think we need to talk,” Blaine confirmed. 

“Just let me grab my things.” Kurt said hurrying to grab his coat, wallet, and keys. He looked at Blaine with wide, fearful eyes. 

The walk to the diner was uncomfortable in its quietness. Blaine had so much to say but didn’t know where to start and didn’t want to do it on the cold New York street. 

Once sat in a booth, cups of coffee in front of each of them, Kurt looked up at him with worried eyes. 

“Did you get my letters?”

“Yea, I got them,” Blaine said, looking at the table. 

“Good,” Kurt sighed, “I wanted to make sure what you knew. I just… I’m just surprised to see you. I expected you to hate me.”

“I don’t hate you, Kurt.” Blaine said honestly. “I’m hurt, and I really don’t know what I am doing here.”

Kurt’s face crumpled. 

“I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.” 

“The thing I don’t understand, Kurt, is did you never realize how I felt about you?” Blaine asked, clutching the mug in front of him. 

Kurt shook his head. 

“I’ve talked about it a lot with my therapist. She thinks, and I agree, that I was so focused on the past, on not getting hurt again, I couldn’t see what was right in front of me. I swear I have replayed every interaction in my head, and looking back I can see it, the little things you did to make me feel cherished. But at the time, I couldn’t even imagine the possibility.”

“Is… is it helping? Going to therapy?” Blaine asked. 

“It is, she put me on a mild antidepressant, and we talk a lot. I think that helps the most. I finally realize that I just had a knack for dating assholes, I mean… that it wasn’t entirely my fault that the relationships ended. That helps.” Kurt lightly touched Blaine’s hand. “But I want to know how you are?”

“I’m…” Blaine began but stopped himself from automatically saying fine. “I’m better than I was. I was really messed up when you first left. It took time, and your letter helped. I even let one of my friends set me up on a date.”

Blaine could see Kurt’s eyes grow sad, lose some of their brightness, but his voice was cheery when he spoke. 

“That’s great. I’m happy for you.”

“It was a complete disaster,” Blaine admitted. “I left before I even had a chance to eat. Afterwards I just wished it was with you.”

Kurt drew in a shuddering breath. “I would have loved that.”

Blaine couldn’t hold himself back any more and took Kurt’s hand, squeezing it gently. 

“It may not be too late.”

Kurt nodded, sniffling a little, “I.. I want to, but I think it would be best if we… started over. And talked some more first. I need you to understand, I still have my issues…”

“We all have our issues, Kurt,” Blaine said. 

Kurt’s laugh was a welcome sound. “How about we order some food, and we can talk?”

They took their time ordering, the quiet, pregnant with tension once the waitress left their booth. 

“Can I be honest about what I need?” Kurt said quietly not taking his eyes off the table. 

“Please,” Blaine answered. “I think we need to both be honest about our needs.”

Kurt nodded, and when he looked up his face was resolved. 

“If we do this, I need us to go slow. I have always jumped right into sex in a relationship, even with Ethan. My therapist says that because of that, I link my self-worth with sex. That and my past make it hard for me to trust that someone can have feelings for me that aren’t just linked to sex. I think if this is to work, we need to build a relationship outside of the bedroom first.”

“I have missed the way you made me feel, Kurt,“ Blaine said slowly. “But not just in the bedroom. Part of dating is seeing if you are compatible with the other person. We already know that we are sexually, so I’m okay taking things slowly.”

“Really?” Kurt said, his eyes wide in disbelief.

“Really.” Blaine smiled, “I think it is a great idea. But there are things I need, too.”

Kurt’s eyes looked scared again, but he said, “Okay....”

Blaine took a deep breath to center himself. 

“I need you to be open with me. I can’t go back to second-guessing everything. If I say or do something that makes you uncomfortable, or if you are getting scared or freaked out by something, I need you to tell me. I will do the same. If this is going to work we need to be honest with each other, even if it’s hard.”

Kurt looked away, staring into the distance. “I’ll try. I have opened up to so many people, sometimes it feels like I have no secrets anymore, like everyone can see right through me. It is a little scary. I can promise to try, though.”

Blaine reached across the table again, laying his hand gently on Kurt’s arm, drawing his focus to him. 

“That is all I am asking. I don’t need a running commentary on your every thought, just that instead of running away, you talk to me. I’m the only one who can tell you how I feel, or what I think, so really I am the best person to talk to.”

“So, are we really doing this?” Kurt asked, and the hopefulness in his voice made the air catch in Blaine lungs. 

“I think we are,” Blaine said, his voice full of disbelief. 

  
  



	10. Chapter 10

Blaine couldn’t believe he was doing this. They had promised to take things slow, and he wasn’t sure that this was exactly the definition of slow. He took a deep breath and knocked on Kurt’s apartment door, his palms sweaty with nerves. 

“Blaine! It’s good to see you. Come on in!” Burt Hummel greeted him. 

Stepping into the apartment he was hit by the aroma of a traditional Thanksgiving meal. He looked over to the kitchenette to see Kurt and his stepmom squeezed into the small space, trying to work around each other. 

Kurt turned his head over his shoulder, a huge smile on his face. 

“Happy Thanksgiving.” 

“Happy Thanksgiving,” Blaine repeated. 

“This is Carole. I’ll warn you now, she is a hugger,” Kurt called, bumping Carole’s hip teasingly. 

“Thank you for letting me intrude on your family time,” Blaine said shifting uncomfortably. 

“Nonsense,” Burt said, clapping him on the shoulder. “It’s not an intrusion. We are happy to have you.”

Blaine took a moment to look around the space he had come to know so well. It looked lived in now, not just a temporary space. The boxes were gone, and there were now paintings on the wall. Blaine walked over to the painting hanging over the TV. It’s reds and purples danced together in an abstract way that drew Blaine’s attention. 

“Nice, huh?” Burt said from beside him. “I don’t understand it, but I like the way it looks.”

“I’ve told you before,” Kurt called from across the room, “there is nothing to understand. There is no deep meaning. I was just painting to music.”

Kurt and his father exchanged banter, but Blaine didn’t hear it. He was intent on the painting. It had a sensuality and longing to it. He wanted to know what song Kurt had been listening to but didn’t want to ask while Burt and Carole were there. 

He felt arms wrap around his waist, and Kurt’s chin propped itself on his shoulder. 

“You like it?” Kurt asked quietly. 

Blaine closed his eyes and enjoyed the closeness for a moment. Before parting at the diner they had shared a quick hug, but this was what he had longed for. 

“It’s beautiful. When did you paint it?” he asked, crossing his arms and placing his hands on top of Kurt’s. 

“About a month ago,” Kurt told him before whispering in his ear. “I was listening to  _ More Than Words  _ and thinking of you. Torturing myself, really.”

“I love it,” Blaine whispered back. 

“How much longer until we eat, Bud?” Burt asked breaking them out of their bubble. 

Kurt pulled away and took Blaine’s hand instead. 

“About half an hour ‘til the turkey comes out. So we can eat in about 45 minutes,” Kurt said, leading Blaine back towards the kitchenette. 

Kurt’s parents asked Blaine about himself, listening intently to his answers. It was a change for Blaine to have a parent listen to him as if what he had to say was important. Kurt squeezed his hand before letting go to answer the timer going off. 

“Kurt tells me you know our Mercedes,” Carole said, smiling so sweetly at him.

Blaine rubbed the back of his neck. 

“I’ve only met her once. She probably doesn’t even remember me. I was just a tech on the sessions.”

“Nonsense,” Carole chastised him. “Unless she has changed since she used to practically live at our house, I’m sure she remembers you. If you see her again, would you tell her not to be a stranger next time she is in Ohio? I miss that girl.”

Once the food was done, Burt and Carole sat on the couch, while Blaine and Kurt sat on the floor around the coffee table. 

“Maybe next year you can have an actual table,” Burt teased. 

“I wish there was the room,” Kurt sighed, “but I like being close to the shop. It has been nice being able to be up here painting until they need me downstairs. Maybe one day I can afford a bigger place”

“Well, I think it is more intimate this way.” Carole smiled. “Who needs a big table when you are with loved ones?”

Her smile was infectious, and Blaine couldn’t help sharing it. He looked over at Kurt who smiled sweetly at him. 

It was the nicest Thanksgiving meal that Blaine could remember. He had been nervous at first, but Kurt’s family was so open and accepting, he couldn’t help but feel at ease after spending a few moments with them. They asked all the right questions and listened intently to his answers. They never hesitated in answering his own questions. Conversations flowed, and laughter filled the apartment. 

The meal finished, Blaine leaned back, his weight on his hands, and sighed. 

“That was the best meal ever. I am stuffed.”

“Don’t you know you are supposed to leave room for pie?” Kurt teased. 

“But your stuffing was amazing, and the turkey was so moist. I couldn’t just leave it on my plate,” Blaine pouted. “Give me an hour, and maybe you can tempt me with pie.”

Kurt laughed and bit his lip, clearly holding back a retort. Blaine offered to help Kurt bring in coffee and set the pies on the table. When they got to the kitchenette he whispered in Kurt’s ear, “What?”

A blush colored Kurt’s cheeks 

“I was going to say something about your recovery time, but I didn’t think you or my parents would have appreciated it.”

“I think that may have been for the best,” Blaine said, feeling his heat rising. 

He tried to push the thought of sex, especially sex with Kurt, out of his mind. He didn’t realize how hard it would be taking things slow with Kurt. Blaine shyly smiled at Kurt before grabbing the pumpkin and the apple pies. He then turned to take them to the table.  _ Maybe a little distance would be good for a moment,  _ he thought. When Kurt returned with a tray loaded with coffee, he gave Blaine a sheepish look. 

Later, they walked behind Burt and Carole, as they made their way to Rockefeller Center to see the Christmas trees and watch the ice skaters. 

They walked along in silence for a while before Kurt turned to Blaine and said quietly, “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

Blaine’s confusion must have shown, because Kurt explained, “In the kitchen earlier…”

“Oh!” Blaine said, feeling stupid. “Uncomfortable is not what I would call it. It brought back some good memories that I probably shouldn’t be thinking about right now, what with the need to go slow.”

Kurt’s cheeks were red, and Blaine was pretty sure it wasn’t from the cold. He was intrigued by this new blushing Kurt. He liked it. 

“I guess I should be a little less open for a while,” Kurt laughed. 

“About some things, that may be best,” Blaine sighed. “It’s not that that is the only draw to a relationship with you. This part is what I always dreamed of, but knowing what I am missing… I just need to try and not think about that for a while.”

“Same,” Kurt breathed. “Today has been wonderful. Thank you for being here. I know a family dinner is not your typical first date, but honestly, I didn’t want to have to wait any longer. It took me long enough to get here.”

Blaine laughed, “Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t have agreed, but I spent long enough without you.”

Blaine grabbed Kurt’s hand, wanting nothing more than to pull him into a kiss, but Burt’s voice called back to them, “Pick up the pace boys, or we will never get there!” 

They stood on the edge of the skating rink, watching the skaters glide by. Christmas music played over the speakers. It was the first time in years Blaine felt joy at the prospect of the holiday season. Kurt wrapped his arm around Blaine’s waist and pulled him closer. 

“I’m hopeless on skates. How about you?”

“I can hold my own,” Blaine smiled. “Want to try?”

“No,” Kurt shook his head. “I don’t think I am ready to make a fool out of myself in front of you. Again.”

“Come on,” Blaine teased. “What better date than ice skating?”

Kurt eyed him for a moment. “Do you promise not to laugh if I fall?”

“I promise,” Blaine said, grabbing Kurt’s hand and kissing it gently, 

Kurt’s eyes grew soft. “Okay.”

Kurt wobbled beside him as they walked to the ice on the blades of their skates. He was gripping tightly to Blaine’s hand. Just as they stepped onto the ice, Burt waved at them, smiling. 

Blaine pushed away from the wall, and Kurt scrambled to follow, soft concerned words falling from his lips. 

“Just relax into it. I have you,” Blaine tried to soothe him. 

Blaine turned around on his skates, taking Kurt’s other hand. Skating backwards, he led Kurt around the rink. 

“Show off,” Kurt grumbled. 

Blaine smiled. “What? I like this view.” 

The more they skated, the more comfortable Kurt became. Blaine loved being able to make him laugh as he bopped along, singing with the music playing overhead. This was the kind of date he had dreamed of taking Kurt on. Just spending time together, laughing and holding hands. 

Kurt stumbed, and Blaine caught him before he could fall. 

“As much fun as this is,” Kurt murmured, trying to right himself, “my feet are starting to kill me.” 

Blaine nodded. He wasn’t sure how long they had been skating, but his legs were beginning to get that wobbly feeling. He guided them back to the exit. 

“Thank you,” Blaine said as they sat side by side unlacing their skates. 

“What for?” Kurt asked, looking at him confused. 

“Being here with me, being you,” Blaine sighed. 

He wanted to lean forward and kiss those soft, inviting lips but held back. He watched as Kurt’s eyes lit up, and a smile sprang to his face. 

“I think I should be the one thanking you,” Kurt replied. “I’m the one who…”

“Don’t,” Blaine interrupted.  “Don’t even think about that. Just enjoy this now.” 

Kurt nodded. “Thank you.” He leaned in, his eyes intent on Blaine’s lips. 

Just then, Mr. Hummel approached. 

“You boys looked like you were having fun!”

Blaine wanted to grumble that they  _ were _ having fun, as Kurt backed away, biting his lip. Instead he looked up at Burt and smiled. 

“Well, I got to cross something off my bucket list.”

“You’ve never skated at Rockefeller Center?” Kurt asked, surprised. 

Blaine grabbed Kurt’s hand. “Not with someone special.”

Kurt just beamed at him. 

“Carole wants hot cocoa. You boys ready to go?” 

“Just let us put our shoes on,” Kurt told him, grabbing his boots. 

They ended up walking Burt and Carole back to their hotel. As Kurt was hugging his father, Carole pulled Blaine into a tight hug. 

“I’m so glad you joined us today. I hope we get to see you again before we leave.”

Blaine relished in a mother’s hug for a moment before saying, “Thank you for having me, and I would love that.”

Blaine and Kurt stood on the sidewalk watching the Hummels enter their hotel. Once they were inside, Blaine took Kurt’s hand as they began walking. 

“So what do you want to do now?”

“Want to go back to my place and have that pie?” Kurt asked. 

Blaine shook his head. “I’m not sure if that is a great idea.”

“But pie,” Kurt teased before turning serious. “I promise to be a perfect gentleman.”

Looking at Kurt’s hopeful expression, Blaine couldn’t resist. 

“Okay, I’m interested to see if you are as good a baker as you are a cook.”

Back at Kurt’s apartment, they sat with their backs against the couch, a plate of pie in front of them on the coffee table. 

“Is there anything you can’t do?” Blaine praised, taking the fork out of his mouth.  “Seriously, this is the best apple pie I have ever eaten. What is your secret?”

Kurt preened at the attention. 

“Cardamom, just a pinch; too much takes over.”

Kurt had such a proud smile, and his eyes seemed to sparkle in such a beautiful way, Blaine couldn’t resist. He leaned in and placed a sweet kiss on his lips. Their lips brushed gently for a moment before Blaine pulled back and looked at Kurt. His eyes were still closed, but then when he opened them they were bright with tears. 

“Okay?” Blaine asked. 

Kurt took a deep breath. 

“Yea, I just… I never thought I would have this. For five years I have had two distinct groups of men in my life: friends and lovers. You… you make me realize I can have both. You can be both, and I like that thought.”

“Can I just say, I like this new open you?” Blaine said, kissing him gently once more. “I like the thought of being both, too.” 

Kurt’s smile was breathtaking, and Blaine couldn’t help but match it. They spent the rest of the evening sharing pie, talking, and enjoying the comfort of being together again. When Blaine left that night, it was with a chaste kiss and a promise to see each other soon. 

Kurt called Blaine on Friday, asking if he could meet the next night for dinner. 

“I only have an hour free, but I want to see you,” he had mumbled over the phone as if Blaine would say no. 

Blaine couldn’t have turned down the opportunity. He agreed to pick up Kurt from the shop at 7:00. 

That evening Blaine dressed with care. Not only would it be their first solo date, but there was a distinct possibility he would be meeting Kurt’s coworkers. He wore his tightest jeans, paired with a fitted button up and jacket. He checked himself out in the mirror, making sure he looked the best he could. Satisfied by what he saw, he left his apartment to head to Hell’s Kitchen. 

Through the shop window, Blaine could see a petite blonde in a pink, retro-style dress standing behind the counter. She looked like she came straight out of a 40’s fashion magazine except for the tattoos covering her body. Both her arms featured full sleeve tattoos, and she had large stars on each side of her neck. Blaine took a steadying breath before pushing the door open and entering the lobby of the shop. 

“Welcome to Starving Artist. What can I do for you?” she asked as soon as he was in the door. 

Blaine smiled at her. “I’m here to see Kurt.”

She looked down at the computer in front of her, and a frown covered her face. 

“I don’t have anything down for Kurt after his current client until 8:30. Did you have an appointment?”

“It’s not a business call,” Blaine said. 

When she still looked confused, he clarified. “It’s a date.” 

“Oh!” She exclaimed, a smile breaking across her face. “You must be Blaine. I totally forgot he said you were coming. He told me to bring you back as soon as you got here. Come with me.”

Blaine followed her through the door. The first thing he noticed was Kurt sitting beside a woman, his focus intent on her wrist. He couldn’t help smiling at the look of intense concentration on his face. 

“Kurt,” Baby called walking towards him, “you have a visitor.”

Kurt looked up, and a heartstopping smile graced his face as he said Blaine’s name like this was the world's best surprise. 

“I’m almost done here, just give me five minutes.”

Blaine was making his way to Kurt’s station when a hand on his shoulder stopped him in his place. When he turned around, he noticed three other pairs of eyes staring at him. After a moment the woman,  _ Callie,  _ Blaine reminded himself, turned back to the tattoo she was working on, but the man lounging in another station and the man with his hand on his shoulder kept their attention focused on him. 

“So… you’re Blaine,” Elliott said, not removing his hand from Blaine’s shoulder. 

“Elliott, behave,” Kurt warned from across the room. 

A mischievous smile played across Elliott’s lips. 

“I am being the perfect gentleman, but Kurt, it has been a long time since I have gotten to interrogate suitors for you. It is my duty as your best friend…”

“Tread carefully, Gilbert, or you may lose that title,” Kurt sang. 

Blaine’s laugh burst out of him, turning Elliott’s attention fully back to him. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Elliott. I’ve heard a lot about you. All of you, really,” Blaine said, holding his hand out to Kurt’s best friend. 

“Cute and polite,” Elliott hummed, taking his hand. “And you nearly let this one get away, Hummell? What were you thinking?”

Blaine stiffened, feeling defensive for Kurt, but before he could say anything, Kurt was laughing. 

“Temporary insanity.”

“You should see this man dance, Micah. He had Kurt falling all over himself,” Elliott called to the man lounging in his station. 

Micah just laughed. 

“As much as I would love to see Kurt make a fool of himself, I don’t know how much my wife would appreciate me checking out another man.”

“It would liven up the bedroom,” Elliott teased. 

Kurt chastised them. “Customers! Please keep your dirty minds to yourself.”

Blaine just stood there marveling at the banter. The two clients didn’t seem bothered either. 

“Okay, we’re all finished,” Kurt told the woman sitting at his station. “Baby, would you take care of Amy?”

“Here, let’s go to the front.” Baby said, leading the smiling woman away. 

Kurt stood up, stretching his back. 

”I just need to go wash my hands, and then we can go.” Then Kurt turned his attention to the other men. “And can you please leave my boyfriend alone? I would like it if he actually wanted to come back here at some point.”

Blaine’s breath caught in his throat, and his heart squeezed hearing Kurt calling him his boyfriend. He knew his mouth split into a goofy smile. 

As soon as Kurt entered the small bathroom, Elliott slung his arm around Blaine’s shoulder. 

“And here I was afraid that you weren’t just as smitten with Kurt as he was with you. Clearly, you have it bad,” he teased. 

Blaine didn’t rein in his goofy smile, just watched the door Kurt was hidden behind.

“Have you ever actually met him? Who could resist?”

Elliott pulled him into a one-armed hug. 

“Maybe you should tell  _ him  _ that.”

“No,” Blaine corrected him, “I think I should show him first.”

“Good man,” Elliott praised. 

Kurt opened the bathroom door and spied Elliott with his arm around Blaine then rolled his eyes. 

“Would you please unhand Blaine so we can go?”

“I was playing nice, wasn't I, Blaine?” Elliott pouted. 

Blaine smiled at Kurt. “He was.”

“Good, now let's get out of here,” Kurt said, grabbing Blaine’s hand and leading him to the front. 

“I’ll be back before my 8:30,” he called to Baby over his shoulder as they walked out into the cold November air. 

They found themselves at a small sushi place, tucked into a corner. 

“Did you realize you called me your boyfriend?” Blaine asked, trying to hold in his smile.

Kurt’s eyes widened, and the only sound he made was a shocked “oh”. 

“I liked it,” Blaine confessed, hoping the fright in Kurt’s eyes would leave. “I really liked it. Do you know how long I wanted nothing more than to be your boyfriend?”

“So being boyfriends is a possibility?” Kurt smiled. 

“I think it is more than a possibility,” Blaine assured him. “I think it is what we are. We talked about starting over, but we can’t erase our feelings. I can’t ignore how I feel about you. Physical stuff… we can wait as long as you need, but I don’t want to pretend like the past never happened. So, when I talk to people about you, I’m going to call you my boyfriend, and I would like it if you did the same… as long as you are ready.”

Kurt opened and closed his mouth for a moment. 

“I… you’re right. We can’t undo the past, and we can’t pretend it didn’t happen. I don’t really want to, either, even though I made a lot of mistakes. It’s funny, one of the hardest things for me is admitting how I feel, and then I did without even realizing it. I want to be your boyfriend, and I want you to be mine.”

“Good,” Blaine squeezed his hand. “Let’s order so we can get you fed before you have to go back.”

Kurt looked relieved that the serious conversation was over for the moment. 

“You pick two rolls, and I pick two, and we share?” he asked with a smile.

They enjoyed their meal, talking about unimportant things, just enjoying the company. Kurt blushed sweetly when Blaine fed him a section of his favorite roll, but Kurt’s smile was unmatched when he returned the favor.

Their rolls polished off, they waited for the check. When it came, Blaine grabbed it before Kurt had the chance. 

“Please, I want to,” he said when Kurt made to protest. 

After a moment, Kurt nodded his head, making Blaine smile. 

He was going to do what he could to show Kurt how he felt, little by little. 

They walked back to the shop, cuddled together against the biting wind. As they stood outside the door, Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt’s shoulders and pulled him into a toe-curling kiss, pouring all his feelings into it. Long moments passed as they lost themselves in each other, mindless of the people walking past. 

When he pulled back, Kurt’s voice was high and airy. “You want to come in?”

Blaine shook his head. “No, not tonight. You go and get ready for your next client. Why don’t you call me when you get home?”

“It will be after midnight,” Kurt protested. 

Blaine leaned in close to Kurt’s ear and whispered, “If memory serves correctly, you are worth staying up for.”

Kurt’s breath hitched before he said, “I’ll talk to you later.”

Blaine gave him one more kiss before walking backwards down the street. 

“Good night, Kurt,” he said and watched as Kurt hurried into the shop. 

“You were the talk of the shop when I got back,” Kurt told him later that night on the phone. “I don’t know what you said to Elliott, but he told me I better not let you get away again.”

“Well, I don’t plan on letting that happen, do you?” Blaine asked. 

“Not in a million years.” Kurt sighed. “My parents are flying out tomorrow afternoon. They wanted me to invite you to brunch.”

Blaine smiled. “Your parents are great. I would love to be there, if you want me.”

“Of course I want you,” Kurt said before yawning. “I’m sorry. I had 2 consults and 3 tattoos today. As much as I want to stay up talking to you, I don’t know how much longer I can keep my eyes open.”

“Can I sing you to sleep?” Blaine asked, not ready yet to let Kurt go.

“What?” Kurt laughed. “Are you serious?”

“Completely serious. Are you ready for bed?” Blaine whispered. 

“Yes.”

“Okay, then get into bed, and let me know when you are comfortable,” Blaine instructed. 

After a moment Kurt’s soft voice floated down the line. “I’m in bed.”

“Put your phone on speaker, and put it on the pillow beside you. I’ll stay on the line until you are asleep. And I will meet you at your place at 9:30. Good night, Kurt.”

“Good night, Blaine,” Kurt whispered. 

Then Blaine started singing softly, the first song that came to mind. He could barely hear Kurt making soft noises over the line. 

“Love me tender, love me sweet, never let me go.” 

He continued to sing different love songs to Kurt until he was sure Kurt was asleep. 

“Kurt?” he called quietly and waited for an answer. When none came he said, “I love you,” and then hung up the phone.

  
  



	11. Chapter 11

Brunch with the Hummels was nice. Blaine still wasn’t use to the comfortable way conversation flowed; it was a welcome change from the stilted almost formal conversations from his own adolescence. He envied Kurt in his relationship with his dad and step mom; but couldn’t find it in his heart to let that feeling grow, Kurt deserved the best things. 

Kurt had tears in his eyes as they hugged his family goodbye. Blaine listened as he promised his dad he would see him at Christmas; he wasn’t looking forward to spending the holidays alone again. 

He wrapped his arm around Kurt’s waist as they walked, wanting to give Kurt the comfort he knew that he needed. 

“My dad likes you,” Kurt told him softly. 

Blaine smiled. “I like your dad. Carole, too.”

“Oh, Carole absolutely adores you! She never gushed over any of Finn’s girlfriends the way she does about you.” Kurt laughed. 

“Really?” Blaine asked. 

Kurt smiled sweetly at him. “Really, in fact they both told me I had better invite you to join us for Christmas… I would love to have you if you think you can.”

Blaine’s heart rate picked up in an unpleasant way. “I don’t think…”

“It’s fine, maybe it is too soon.” Kurt interrupted. 

“It’s not that.” Blaine said squeezing Kurt to his side. “It’s not you, or your parents. It’s… I haven’t been back to Ohio since the Christmas before I graduated. That May, my parents found out that my degree wasn’t in electrical engineering but for sound and musical engineering. I know I shouldn’t have lied, but well, as it turns out my fear wasn’t unwarranted. My dad flipped out and cut me off; my mom just stood there and did nothing. The thought of going back to Ohio, especially at Christmas, is not something I can face. Not right now. I know that I will never have a relationship with them, but being so close, yet knowing I won’t see them isn’t something I can do right now. So as much as I would love to spend Christmas with you and your family… I can’t.”

Kurt looked so sad Blaine wanted to take it back. Before he could say anything, Kurt said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t even think that going back to Ohio would be hard for you. Do you… do you think that you will ever be able to go back?”

Blaine took a moment to think, “I think I might, maybe if we went in the summer first. The holidays are already a hard time for me, but if we went another time first, it might make it easier.”

“My dad would be thrilled. He has been trying to get me home more often, but I just haven’t felt like I could leave more than I already do.” Kurt said smiling. Then his face turned sad. “I wish your parents could see what an amazing son they have. It would be easy to say it is their loss but I know that isn’t entirely true; I know it has to be hard for you.”

“Was your dad always so accepting?” Blaine asked leading them to a little park. 

Kurt shook his head, “Yes, but that isn’t to say we always had the relationship we have now.” 

They found a bench overlooking the small patch of snow and sat hands entwined. 

“When my mom died,” Kurt continued, “it was like we forgot how to communicate. We would try to spend time together, but it was like there was this huge hole between us. As I got older, I realized that I was gay and started trying to do things to make up for it, if that makes sense.”

“Like what?” Blaine asked. 

“Helping my dad in his shop; he’s a mechanic. I learned to do almost anything you needed to with a car. I tried valiantly to like football since my dad played in high school, and I thought we could bond watching games. That one didn’t work out so well…” Kurt laughed at the memory. “Muscular guys in tight pants tackling each other was not as appealing as I thought it would be. When I finally came out, he said he had known since I was three. He didn’t seem too bothered by it. He told me he loved me, but things didn’t change. We still didn’t really talk, and then he started dating Carole.”

Kurt’s eyes grew sad for a moment as he looked off into the distance. “Finn seemed like he was my dad’s ideal son. He was a football player and liked all the things my dad did. I thought he was trying to replace me. I let it fester for a while, and when I finally said something to my dad, he was so hurt. We had a long, hard talk; he assured me I was exactly the son he wanted and that he loved me. He also told me things were easy with Finn, but that didn’t mean it was better. Those words haunted me for a long time, still do sometimes I guess. I hated to think that I wasn’t an easy person to get along with. I realize that he didn’t mean it that way.”

“Do you want to know what was hard for me being with you?” Blaine asked, giving Kurt a serious look. Kurt swallowed hard but nodded anyway. 

“The only thing I found hard being with you was not being able to be open and honest with how I felt. It wasn’t easy feeling all of these wonderful emotions and not being able to share them with you. That’s it,” Blaine said honestly. 

Kurt’s eyes filled again with tears, Blaine waited for him to say something. Instead he leaned in and gave Blaine a sweet emotion-filled kiss. 

When he pulled back he whispered, “Aren’t you glad we aren’t there anymore?” 

“That I am,” Blaine chuckled. 

They lounged on the bench in comfortable silence for a few moments, before Kurt asked, “Will you tell me a little about your childhood?”

“There’s not much to tell,” Blaine said evasively. 

Kurt squeezed his hand. “Please.”

Blaine took a deep breath. “I was a surprise. My parents weren’t planning on having any more children after Cooper. They had their son, and that was all they ever needed. My mom told me when she found out she was pregnant, she wanted a girl. I obviously wasn’t. I grew up knowing this. When I was little, things were okay. My mom took me to music lessons, and she even took me to dance lessons when I asked for them. My dad was never really home, but that was normal for our neighborhood, I guess. Things were okay until I was in middle school. I came out. At first, my dad blamed my mom, saying it was her fault for treating me like the daughter she never had. Then he was home more often, insisting I spend time with him, but it was never doing anything I was interested in. He made me help him rebuild an old car, tried to get me to build an outdoor kitchen with him; he even took me hunting one time. It didn’t take long to realize he was trying to straighten me out.”

“Did he really think that would work?” Kurt asked.

“Who knows?!? All I know is that with each failed attempt at bonding, he became more distant. Eventually he decided just to ignore it and me,” Blaine said with a shrug. 

“What about your mom?” Kurt spoke softly.

“She didn’t seem to care, just wanted me to be happy. I could talk to her about crushes and things, but I knew she would never stand up to my dad. I was right, she never did. Even when my dad finally cut me off, she didn’t say a word.”

Blaine hated the empty feeling the conversation was giving him. He shivered not just from the cold outside but the cold feeling that seemed to be invading him. 

“Thank you for telling me,” Kurt said standing. When Blaine mirrored the action, Kurt pulled him into a bone-aching hug. The action warmed him in every way. 

“I am so sorry you didn’t have the family you deserve,” he whispered into Blaine’s ear. 

Blaine relished in the hug for a long time. Just content to be held by Kurt in a small park in New York. 

When he pulled back, Kurt asked, “How does hot chocolate sound?”

“Sounds like heaven,” Blaine smiled. 

They spent the rest of the morning, before Kurt had to go to the shop, cuddled on Kurt’s couch, cups of hot chocolate in their hands, watching Food Network. Blaine was glad the hard conversations were behind them for the time being; he was content wrapped up in Kurt in an entirely different way than he was used to. 

The next morning, Blaine woke up to his phone ringing. 

“Kevin?” he asked groggily. 

“Blaine, “ Kevin sounded relieved over the line. “I am so glad you answered. Can you come in today? Tony has the flu and is stuck in Dallas until he is well enough to fly. He booked sessions all week. Do you think you can take over?”

Blaine rubbed his eyes trying to think; he was between projects at the moment, and was mainly scheduled to help out the other engineers when needed. 

“Yea, I don’t have anything right now. What time do I need to be there?”

“She is supposed to be in at one, so if you could be here at 11 to set things up that would be great.” Kevin sounded so relieved. 

Blaine squinted at the clock, and willed himself to get out of bed, “I’ll be there.”

Blaine only had half and hour to get ready before he would need to leave. He rushed around the apartment, showering and getting dressed not even taking the time to eat. 

Before he hopped in the shower, Blaine texted Kurt. 

**I got called into work, do you think you can bring lunch to me today? Around Noon?**

Blaine knew that Kurt had a therapy session that morning but was still surprised when he received a reply before leaving his place. 

**Anything to help. Should I bring enough for both of us or will you not have time?**

**You know I would love to eat with you, silly! Just tell Jack (he’s the day time guard) you are here to see me. I will probably have to send an intern down to bring you up. Thank you! At the subway station; will see you later. <3**

Blaine pocketed his phone and hurried down the stairs, excited to see what project he was taking over and to see Kurt later. 

Blaine was pleased to find that Tony had left detailed notes from his previous sessions, so it wasn’t hard for Blaine to get the equipment set for the session. Tony was the only colleague Blaine didn’t enjoy working with, but this time his meticulous ways were finally of a benefit to Blaine. He was happy to be taking over this client, his first major account and he would be working with Maddox, his favorite intern. Maddox reminded Blaine of himself when he had first started at the company in his junior year; he was passionate about the music and eager to please. 

“Maddox,” Blaine called down the hall when he saw him. “You’re with me today.”

“Really? What happened to Tony?” Maddox asked not hiding his excitement. 

Blaine stood next to him trying to hide his own excitement. “Still stuck in Dallas, he has the flu. You’ll be in the booth with me today, but first, my boyfriend is coming to have lunch with me. When Jack calls up would you bring him to the break room?”

Maddox’s smile was unmatched, “Sure thing! I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.”

“He’s the cutest.” Blaine smiled, “Let’s get the green room set up.”

“I can get it, that is why I am here,” Maddox protested. 

Blaine clapped him on the shoulder. 

“Nonsense, it will be faster with two of us. You know it wasn’t that long ago I was in your shoes. I remember wanting to actually learn hands-on, only to be sent for coffee and being left all the thankless tasks. I’ve been watching you; you work hard, you are eager to learn, and you are always happy to help. I think you have a great future here, at least if I have any say.”

“That means a lot. Thank you,” Maddox beamed. 

Blaine helped Maddox set up the green room and then went back to the booth. He double- checked the levels Tony had specified and then just let the space center him. He had to admit he was nervous to take on such a big client but was excited for the challenge. He busied himself trying to ease his nerves. 

Before he knew it though, Maddox was popping his head in the booth, “I’m heading downstairs to bring your boyfriend up.”

“Thanks Maddox. I’ll meet you in the break room,” Blaine smiled. 

Blaine made his way to the small break room. When he entered he was happy to find it empty. He didn’t want to have to share Kurt for the short time they would have together. 

It wasn’t long before Maddox was pushing the door open followed closely by Kurt lugging two paper bags. 

Blaine approached them and kissed Kurt gently on his cheek. 

“Hey,” he greeted before saying, “Thank you Maddox, you can take your lunch break now. Just be back by 1:00.”

“Yes, sir,” Maddox said with a smile before walking out, shutting the door behind him. 

“Very impressive,” Kurt teased, “Sending your assistant to fetch me.”

“Maddox isn’t my assistant, although if I could pick one intern to assist me, it would be him.” Blaine laughed. 

“Should I be jealous?” Kurt pouted. 

Blaine laughed again, “Not on your life, even if he wasn’t painfully straight, he couldn’t hold a candle to the amazingness of you.”

Kurt’s mouth dropped open a moment before he regained his composure. “I brought food.” 

“You are a lifesaver!” Blaine praised before kissing Kurt gently, then taking the bags. He led the way over to the table. 

Kurt had brought gyros and fries. Blaine served them their food with a smile. 

“How was your session this morning?” Blaine asked, focusing on Kurt. 

Kurt picked at his food for a moment. “It was okay. I was nervous to tell Dr. Renner about you. Well about us… I was afraid she would tell me it was too soon.”

“And did she?” Blaine asked suddenly nervous. 

Kurt looked up at him, and he looked stunned for a moment. 

“No, I told her about our talks, about taking it slow and… she said she thought we were setting ourselves up for success.”

“That’s great,” Blaine smiled, feeling relieved. 

“So…” Kurt relaxed, “how do you feel about having to come in today?”

“Excited, actually. I hate that I have to work on your day off, but this is a huge client. Maybe if they like what I do, I could take on the account full time,” Blaine said quietly, not wanting anyone to overhear. 

Kurt took his hand and squeezed it. 

“I’m sure they will love what you do. You are amazing and magical!”

They ate and talked, luckily not being interrupted until Maddox returned half an hour later looking frantic. “She’s here, she’s early. Jack just called up.”

“Relax, everything is ready. Let’s go to the elevator to greet her.” He said before turning to Kurt. “You want to join us?”

Kurt looked shocked for a moment. “What, really?”

“Sure, I’m sure it will be fine.” he said, taking Kurt’s hand and leading him down the hallway. They stood in front of the elevator doors watching the numbers above rise until they reached the number 23. 

When the doors opened Blaine greeted, “Miss Jones, I’m Blaine Anderson, I will be your engineer today. I am ecstatic to be working with you.”

Mercedes Jones smiled at him for a moment before her eyes roved to the man beside him, who looked shocked and at a loss for words. 

“Kurt? Kurt Hummel” she asked with awe. 

Kurt whispered, “‘Cedes? I had no idea.”

He then turned to Blaine and lightly smacked him on the arm, “Why didn’t you tell me Mercedes was the client you were working with?”

Blaine wasn’t sure if Kurt was mad or just shocked.  

“I thought it would be a great surprise.”

“It’s the best surprise, but a little warning would be nice,” Kurt grumbled at Blaine before turning back to Mercedes. “My boyfriend, the best sound engineer in New York, but he’s impossibly cute and sweet.”

“As much as I approve of the boyfriend, you had better get over here and give me a hug!”

Kurt slowly moved forward and enveloped his long lost friend in a strong, comforting hug. Blaine wished he was on the receiving end of that hug but relished in the compliments Kurt had given. 

After long moments they pulled back. 

“It is good to see you, but I have work to do. Kurt, I hope you stay and watch. I would love to catch up when we are finished,” Mercedes said. 

Kurt looked to Blaine for guidance, who nodded to him encouragingly. 

“I would love that, as long as I won’t be getting in the way.”

Mercedes looked back at Blaine, and her face lit up. 

“Wait, I remember you. You helped on my last album didn’t you?”

Blaine couldn’t control his own bashful smile. 

“I was just an intern. I didn’t get to do much helping, but I loved sitting in on the sessions.”

“Well, I am sure you are a big boy engineer now,” Mercedes said, giving him an appraising look. “You are, aren’t you?”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m a senior engineer now. Trust me they would give nothing less to the one and only Mercedes Jones,” Blaine smiled. 

Mercedes preened, “Well lead the way, and let’s get this party started.”

Blaine led Mercedes and Kurt to the sound studio while Maddox led her entourage to the green room to wait. Mercedes walked to the booth, and Blaine showed Kurt into the control room and pulled a chair beside himself for Kurt to sit in. By the time Mercedes was placing the headphones on, Maddox was entering the room and sat in front of the other set of controls. 

“Okay, so Tony left the notes for the levels he used last time, so we should be good to go. Which song do you want to start with?” he asked over the microphone. 

“Number 5,  _ Found My Way Home _ . Seems appropriate today.” Mercedes laughed into the microphone. Blaine had almost forgotten how much she seemed to enjoy the process of recording. 

“Sounds good,” Blaine said pulling up the track on his computer. “Just let me know when you are ready.”

Mercedes closed her eyes for a moment before opening them and nodding through the glass. Blaine hit play and began recording. 

Almost immediately he knew something was wrong. The levels coming through were not at all to his standards, the sound tinny and thin. He listened for a few more bars before he stopped the machines and apologized. 

“Sorry, I’m going to have to adjust some of these levels. We want you to sound your very best, and this isn’t going to do it. You were great; this is on us.”

Mercedes nodded watching him through the glass. 

“Okay, I’m going to start again. I’m not recording I just want to get these levels perfect.” 

Mercedes smiled, “Work your magic, so I can work mine.”

The music started again and Blaine adjusted each control, taking his time until you could hear the full power of Mercedes voice. Something was still off, when Maddox said, “What if we did.. this,” as he moved one knob slightly. There it was, the perfect mix. 

“Good job,” Blaine said to Maddox before turning his microphone back on. “Okay, I think we are ready.” 

When Mercedes began again, Blaine could almost lose himself in the sound of Mercedes voice. He looked over at Kurt for a moment to see an awed smile there. 

“She was good in high school, but damn…” he whispered. 

“She is amazing; second best person I have worked with,” Blaine replied with a smile. 

He loved the way color flooded Kurt cheeks, and he saw Maddox shake his head with an amused smirk on his face. 

The time passed quickly, Mercedes sang through each song half a dozen times before picking which song to do next. Blaine was amazed by her stamina, but it was enjoyable to watch her sing. It was even nice to watch Kurt watch his old friend in her element. He was quiet but his face told stories; admiration, nostalgia, and love the main themes. 

When seven o’clock rolled around, Blaine said, “We’ve laid down half the tracks. What do you say we call it a day, and we can maybe finish up tomorrow?”

“Sounds good. Can I get a sneak peek?” Mercedes asked. 

Nerves filled Blaine’s stomach as he said, “Sure. Just hang up your headphones and come in here. I will get it set up.”

He worked with his computer doing two quick mixes of the first song they recorded. From the corner of his eye, he saw Kurt stand and offer his chair to Mercedes. 

“Okay, first I am going to show you what Tony wanted to do, and then I am going to show you what I did, just to give you an idea,” Blaine said. 

He wasn’t trying to throw Tony under the bus, but part of him wanted to show Mercedes why he would be the perfect fit for her. He wanted to keep making musical magic with her. 

He hit play on Tony’s track and let it play until Mercedes vocals died out. He was sure to most people it sounded fine, but to his own ear it was a weak imitation of what he knew Miss Jones could do. 

“Okay, now that is just the rough cut. I’m sure he did more in post production. Now this is my track.” 

He hit play again, and Blaine was pleased at the full rich sound he had achieved. He looked over at Mercedes to see a sly smile on her face. He stopped the track after the first chorus and said, “That is just a quick mix too, but I hope you can hear the difference.”

“Okay, now where were they hiding you before. I think I will be having a talk with the bigwigs. They better make sure they pair me with you from now on.” Then she laughed, “I never thought I would say it, buy thank God for the flu!”

Blaine knew he was beaming at her. “I would really like that, but why don’t we wait until you hear the finished product.”

“I don’t think I will be changing my mind,” she said, giving him a stern look. 

She then turned to Kurt, “Okay, so I am only in town for the week, and we have a lot of catching up to do. So grab your things, and take me to dinner.”

Kurt sputtered, “But Blaine…”

“You can bring him along, as long as he doesn’t mind you dishing the dirt on how you met and that tattoo,” she said indicating the stars on his neck. “We are long overdue for a gossip session.”

Kurt smiled, his eyes bright, “I know the perfect little bistro in Hell’s Kitchen. Will our reservations be for 3 or 4?”

“If your man is coming, then 3 will be enough.” She then gave a wink, “I left my man back in LA, didn’t want the paparazzi outing us before we get the chance. We’ve avoided them for a year already, we weren’t going to let a trip to New York ruin that.”

They spent the evening in a little bistro down the street from Kurt’s apartment. Blaine sat quietly listening to Kurt and Mercedes reminisce, banter, and talk, almost ignoring their food until it was cold. They didn’t seem to mind; talking and eating with enthusiasm, occasionally bringing Blaine into the conversation, but mostly too caught up to think about it. Blaine didn’t mind, he loved watching them interact, especially the carefree way Kurt talked about them with such a loving tone it made Blaine’s heart squeeze. When Kurt wasn’t gesturing wildly with his hands, he was clasping one of Blaine’s; just a sign that he remembered he was there. 

The waitress was stacking chairs when they got the hint that it was time to leave. There was a friendly fight over who would pay, which Blaine won by pulling out the company credit card. 

“We like our artists to be happy,” he smiled. 

He made sure to leave a sizeable tip in apology for holding up the staff. 

When they stepped out into the cold night, Blaine hailed a cab for Mercedes as Kurt pulled her into another tight hug. Blaine couldn’t hear what words were whispered between them as he held the door open for her. He was surprised when she pulled him into a hug.

“Good night, Blaine. Thank you for sharing your fabulous boyfriend with me for the night. I will see you tomorrow.” 

She gave one last wave before getting into the cab. 

Kurt put his arm around Blaine’s shoulders, and they stood like that a moment watching the cab drive away. Blaine snuggled into the hold as they made their way to Kurt’s apartment. 

“Thank you,” Kurt whispered, “for the surprise and for tonight. It was amazing.”

Blaine leaned his head on Kurt’s shoulder., 

“It was all just luck, but I am glad I could share it with you.”

Kurt kissed the top of his head. 

“I’m glad I could share it with you too.  _ And _ it was amazing to watch you work, to be on that side of the booth and really see you work. God, the focus in your eyes… it was mesmerizing.”

Blaine could feel himself blushing, he didn’t know what to say so he snuggled deeper in to Kurt’s warm arms. 

“Do you want to come up?” Kurt asked. Blaine hadn’t even realized they were at Kurt’s door. 

Without hesitation Blaine agreed. He really felt like a teenager again, sitting on Kurt’s couch kissing and making out, knowing it wouldn’t lead any further. Instead he let himself get lost in just the feel of Kurt’s lips on his. Blaine hated having to pull away to go home an hour later, his lips kiss-swollen and his pants uncomfortably tight, but the punch drunk smile Kurt gave him was enough to make his knees weak as he tried to stand. He knew in the long run it was for the best. His steps felt lighter as he made his way back to his apartment, an idea forming in his mind. He smiled, planning to ask Maddox for his help as soon as he saw him. 

  
  



	12. Chapter 12

December seemed to fly by. After finishing with Mercedes in the recording studio, Blaine spent the majority of the next two weeks working on perfecting the mixes. Seeing Kurt at the end of a long day listening to the same songs over and over again was a welcome relief. They found all the late night haunts in the areas around their apartments. It became a fun challenge to find the best restaurants the late hour had to offer. They weren’t quite ready to head to bars together, both needing the clarity sobriety gave them to keep them from rushing back into a more physical relationship. 

He loved getting to know Kurt on a deeper level, getting to spend hours talking to him like he never had before. If he had thought he had loved Kurt before, it was nothing compared to knowing him completely. Their open and honest dialogue included many hard subjects. They talked more about their pasts, the ways they had been hurt before, and what they wanted in the future. Even those talks left Blaine feeling light and happy; Kurt’s honesty and acceptance making the pangs disappear. 

Blaine spent the remainder of his time planning and executing the idea he had had the night they went out to eat with Mercedes. Mercedes, and more importantly his bosses, were impressed with his work when he presented it to them a week before his deadline. Tony was pissed when Mercedes was permanently assigned to Blaine officially.  Blaine tried not to seem too pleased, but he knew his happiness had to be clear by the way Tony refused to talk to him unless forced to. Blaine decided not to spend too much time on that lost relationship. Now that he proved he could handle the best accounts, he hoped he would be entrusted with more. 

He also was sure to share the spotlight with Maddox, pointing out how he had done a great job working in the booth. He also used his new pull to make sure he could mentor Maddox whenever possible. Blaine knew this perk did not endear Maddox to his fellow interns, he had been there before, but Maddox didn’t seem to mind the grumbles. 

Once Mercedes’ tracks were finished, Blaine could focus on the holidays. His gift giving list  wasn’t long, but this year there were three very important additions. He wanted to make sure he bought something special for Cooper, who had been there for him so much in the last couple of months. For someone whom he hadn’t felt a connection with, though he had known him his whole life, Cooper had stepped up, first listening to his heartache but rejoicing with Blaine when he had told him about his rekindled relationship with Kurt. He wanted to make sure Cooper knew how much he appreciated it. 

The Hummels were also a part of his Christmas list. Blaine wanted them to know how much their acceptance meant to him. Even though he couldn’t accept their invitation to Christmas, he needed to show them he was still thinking about them. He knew Kurt had told them why. That wasn’t enough for Blaine. He picked out, with a little help from Kurt, something personal for them. 

Kurt. He was the most important addition. His gift was highest on Blaine’s list. 

They had discussed the holidays not long after Mercedes had left. 

“I don’t like the idea of you spending Christmas alone,” Kurt had whispered, snuggling into Blaine’s arms. 

“It won’t be the first time,” Blaine tried to soothe him. 

Kurt grumbled, “That doesn’t make me feel better. I understand why you don’t feel like you can go back to Ohio, yet, I do. I just hate the idea of you in this big city all alone.”

“I’ll be fine.” Blaine deflected. “How long are you going to be gone?”

Kurt sighed, “I leave December 21, and my flight gets back the 28th. So a week.”

“Do you want to come with me to my company’s New Year’s party?” Blaine asked, glad that Kurt would be back in plenty of time. 

He was also glad that Kurt remained relaxed and snuggled into his arms as he answered. 

“I would love to. What is the dress code? Do I need to buy something special?”

Blaine smiled, “Semi-formal. It’s just a chance to dress up a little, so you don’t have to buy anything unless you want to.”

“And miss the opportunity to buy something for myself?” Kurt chuckled, tightening his hold around Blaine’s waist. 

“So when can we do our Christmas?” Blaine asked. 

Kurt kissed Blaine’s neck lazily, not ready to move from their position. 

“I plan on being here as soon as my plane lands.”

“Good,” Blaine had said. 

Blaine wished that they could spend Christmas together and realized it was his own insecurities that were preventing it, but just knowing Kurt was coming to him as soon as possible was enough to make it better. However, Blaine wasn’t going to allow Christmas day to pass without Kurt knowing how much he meant to him. 

The day Kurt left, Blaine tried to busy himself, hoping to forget that Kurt was so far away. Nothing really helped, though. No new projects at work meant Blaine couldn’t lose himself in the music. His present-buying was finished. Most of his New York friends were working or traveling, too. Blaine was at a loss with what to do. 

After a while he dug his guitar out of the closet and plucked away on it to pass the time. At one time he had flirted with the idea of being a musician. He wanted to be a singer/songwriter. The song writing part was what did that dream in, but he still loved to play, though he rarely got the chance. 

He was surprised when his phone rang. His surprised doubled when he saw Kurt’s name there on the screen. 

“Hello?” Blaine answered. 

“I miss you already,” Kurt sighed down the line. 

Blaine couldn’t help but smile. “And here I was afraid I was going to be the only one. I miss you, too. How is Ohio?”

“Flat and covered with snow, like always,” Kurt mumbled. 

“Kurt,” Blaine admonished. 

Kurt sighed again, “It’s fine. My dad and Carole are fussing over me like always. I swear they both spend the holidays trying to fatten me up. Honestly I think they do it so they can eat whatever they want. It’s kinda cute actually. I just wish you were here.”

“Me, too, honestly,” Blaine admitted. “Part of me wishes I had just gone with you, not worried about what I might have felt. But I do like the idea of going with you this summer. Maybe we could convince your dad to have a barbeque.”

“God, he would love that,” Kurt laughed. 

They talked until Burt insisted Kurt spend time with them, but before they hung up, Kurt promised to call him whenever he could. 

Kurt was true to his word and called him at every available opportunity. Blaine was happy to spend the time just being able to talk to Kurt. They had done so much of that since Blaine had shown up on his door, but Blaine never tired of it. The more they talked and the more he learned, the more he wanted to know everything about Kurt. 

The time apart crept by. Blaine woke up on Christmas morning a little sad to spend it alone, but happy in the knowledge that Kurt and the Hummels would be opening their presents soon. He knew it would probably be hours before he would hear from Kurt. He would be busy with his family. Blaine planned on doing just what he had the past few years: curl up on the couch and binge watch _ The Lord of the Rings _ before going out for Chinese food. 

He was surprised when he received a text from Kurt. 

**One of your Christmas presents should be there soon. You are home, right?**

Blaine laughed; only Kurt could have commandeered a courier service on Christmas Day. 

**I wasn’t planning on leaving until dinner time. Did you get my present?**

Blaine began to worry that the package with Kurt’s and his parent’s presents hadn’t made it. He waited for Kurt to text back when someone buzzed his apartment. Without even talking to them he hit the button to open the door, knowing it must be the courier. 

Kurt still hadn’t answered when there was a knock at his door. Blaine opened it, and his breath left his body seeing Kurt standing there with his luggage, looking windblown but with a huge smile on his face.

“Kurt, what are you doing here?” Blaine gaped before launching himself at the man. His kiss was just shy of desperate. 

They kissed for long moments in Blaine’s open doorway. 

When Kurt pulled back he whispered, “I got your present last night and… I just couldn’t be in Ohio with you here. I called the airline and changed my flight.”

“Your parents?” Blaine asked, shocked. 

“We had Christmas just after midnight. They understood. I just…. I love you, Blaine. I am completely and perfectly in love with you. And I just couldn’t face another second without you knowing, without you hearing it from me in person.”

Blaine couldn’t breathe from the way his heart seemed to be filling up the entirety of his chest. He could feel tears in his eyes and blinked, trying to clear them. All the while Kurt stood in front of him, cupping his cheek lightly in his hand and his face unafraid. Blaine took in a shuddering breath before saying the words he had been longing to utter for so long. 

“I love you, too, Kurt.” 

Kurt kicked the door shut behind him before capturing Blaine’s lips in a sweet,  slow kiss, stealing the rest of the air from Blaine’s body. They had done plenty of kissing in the last month but none compared to this moment. The kiss was not needy or wanting but filled with the emotions they finally had given voice to, not yelled in desperation, or written with a shaky hand, but spoken with sureness and devotion. Blaine melted into the kiss, feeling his whole body relax against Kurt’s as he folded his arms around Blaine’s shoulder pulling him closer. 

When they finally broke the kiss, Blaine couldn’t pull himself away, he nuzzled his nose into the crook of Kurt’s neck finding comfort in the smell he knew he would find there. Kurt rubbed his back, somehow knowing that Blaine needed a moment to fully absorb what just happened. The tears came unbidden, wetting Kurt’s neck. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Kurt asked pulling away so he could see Blaine’s face. 

Blaine rolled his eyes at his own reaction. 

“It’s just… I woke up, and I was dreading today, and it turned out to be one of the best days of my life.”

The tears came faster, and Kurt kissed them away one by one. 

“Don’t cry.” Kurt soothed. 

“I can’t help it,” Blaine laughed. “I think I am in emotional overload.”

Kurt led him to the couch and wrapped him in his arms as Blaine cried, relieved and feeling happier than he could imagine. When he got the tears under control, he couldn’t help but laugh again. 

“Sorry, I don’t think my brain was ready to go from being kind of miserable to ecstatic in a matter of seconds.”

“God, but I love you.” Kurt sighed. “Are you ready to open your presents?”

“You mean you’re not it? Because I don’t think even you can top this,” Blaine chuckled, feeling giddy.

“I don’t think anything could top your present to me,” Kurt said, kissing the top of Blaine’s head. “I may have smuggled my dad’s turntable home so I could listen to it every waking moment.”

“You didn’t have to do that.” Blaine snickered. “I have digital copies of both tracks. I just thought you might like the aesthetic of the vinyl better.”

Blaine had spent weeks with Maddox, recording two songs for Kurt:  _ Your Song  _ and  _ Unforgettable _ . He painstakingly perfected the mixing and had enlisted a contact through work to have them pressed into a vinyl record just for him. 

 

Kurt shook his head. 

“The record was perfect. You really do listen to everything I say don’t you? I told you about those records once, months ago. I sat there listening with my parents, and it hit me. Not only were the songs perfect, but you know me better than maybe anyone in my life, and you still love me. You have shown me in so many little ways, and I… it’s not that you love an ideal me, or just one version or me, but all of me, even the parts of me that aren’t so loveable. I don’t love you  _ because _ you love me, it just gives me the courage to tell you. I know I can trust you with my heart.”

“I promise you, Kurt, I won’t do anything to break your trust. I have already lost you before, and I don’t want to lose you again. You mean the world to me.” Blaine promised looking intently into Kurt’s beautiful eyes. 

Kurt’s gaze remained strong as he affirmed, “I don’t ever want to lose you either. I love you.”

“I don’t think I will ever get tired of hearing you say that.” Blaine grinned. “I love you.”

Kurt leaned in and kissed him slowly and gently, tangling his finger’s in Blaine’s hair. 

When he pulled back he rasped, “Presents.”

Blaine blinked at him a moment before he understood what he was saying. “Let me just…” Blaine said indicating to his closet. 

They both stood. Blaine retrieved two packages from his closet, while Kurt went to his luggage by the door and brought over a large bag. 

Before Kurt even made it back to the couch Blaine was saying, “Can you please open my presents first? You already got the most important one.”

Kurt smiled fondly at him, and any nerves that his other presents would be found lacking disappeared. “Ok.”

Kurt sat next to him and held a hand out to Blaine. He handed him the smallest package first. Kurt bounced lightly in his seat as he took it. Blaine couldn’t help but smile at Kurt’s giddiness. 

Kurt tore open the paper to reveal a CD case. Mercedes Jones’ face in black and white looked up from the cover. 

“You are one of the first people to get a copy. I had to ask Mercedes for permission, but of course she was thrilled at the idea. You obviously can’t play it in public until it is released... “ Blaine interrupted himself, he was losing his train of thought. “Turn it over.”

Kurt turned the case over in his hand. Blaine watched as he scanned the writing on the back. Blaine knew when he saw it; Kurt drew in a breath and a proud smile filled his face. Below the track list, in bold letters read, ‘Sound Engineer: Blaine Anderson’. 

“It’s my first cover credit,” Blaine smiled. 

Kurt beamed at him, clutching the case to his chest. 

“I am so proud of you. I can’t wait to listen to it, to hear how you worked your magic.”

Blaine handed him the other present and watched expectantly as Kurt ripped into it. Kurt stared at the box in his hand, his mouth a little open. 

“It’s a digital artist pad. It connects with your computer. I called the shop and asked Elliott if you had one, and he said you didn’t. I thought you could use it,” Blaine babbled unnerved by Kurt’s continued silence. 

“This is the one I wanted…” he finally whispered. 

“Really?” Blaine asked, preening at getting it right. 

Kurt looked at him, his face pained. “This is so expensive… you really shouldn’t have.”

“Hey,” Blaine soothed, “I wanted to. If it makes you feel better, I got a really great deal on it. I just… I wanted to get you something you would use.”

“You couldn’t have gotten that good a deal on it.” Kurt whispered. 

Blaine took Kurt’s hand in his, “Do you like it?”

“Yes, of course but…” Kurt admitted.

“Then don’t worry about the price, please. Remember I have a very short Christmas list, I had the money and I wanted to get it. Plus, I did get a really great deal. I promise I didn’t spend as much money as you think I did.”

“Really?” Kurt asked hopefully. 

“Really,” Blaine assured him. 

A true smile returned to Kurt’s face. 

“Thank you. I love it. I can’t wait to try it out.”

Kurt placed a sweet kiss on his lips, only lingering a moment before pulling back and announcing, “Your turn.”

First, he pulled out of the bag a large, flat package wrapped in silver paper. When Blaine took it he was surprised how light it was. He pulled the paper away. Blaine looked at the painting, it showed a city street in bright reds, oranges, and blues. A couple walked, arms wrapped around each other, illuminated by the yellow street lamps. Blaine took in the men, he could see the hint of his own physique in the shorter of the two. His companion was leaner with lighter hair. 

“It’s us,” Kurt whispered.

“I know,” Blaine said with awe. “It’s amazing. I love it.” 

He looked over at Kurt, who looked relieved. 

He licked his lips before saying, “Okay one more.”

This package was smaller. Blaine carefully unwrapped it. He looked confused at the blank canvas in front of him. He looked questioningly at Kurt. 

“I want you on my wall,” Kurt said. 

This didn’t clear anything up for Blaine, and he opened his mouth, unsure what question he should ask. 

“At the shop. The portraits on my wall are of people who are the most important to me. I want to paint you, so everyday, when I am working, I can look over and see your beautiful face alongside the rest of my family,” Kurt blushed. 

Blaine’s breath hitched. The magnitude of what Kurt was saying, the unspoken part of the present was clear to him. Kurt considered him family, not just a boyfriend  or a lover, but an essential part of his life; something that Blaine didn’t have anymore. 

Blaine nodded his head, trying to rein in his tears once more. 

“Do I need to sit or…” Blaine asked with a choked voice.

Kurt smiled at him sweetly. “A picture will do.”

“I… I am honored. I can’t wait to see how you see me,” Blaine sighed. 

Kurt took the canvas out of Blaine’s hand and laid it on the table on top of the painting. He scooted closer on the couch, erasing any unnecessary space between them.

“So, I thought of a first I can share with you.” Kurt purred.

Blaine’s heartbeat picked up at the implication of Kurt’s words. “Oh, really. What is that?” he croaked back. 

“Well,” Kurt began and Blaine couldn’t miss the way his tongue emphasized the L in the word. “I’ve never had sex on Christmas Day.”

Blaine’s breath hitched, “What a coincidence, neither have I.”

The kiss was intense from the moment their lips met. Kurt’s fingers curled into Blaine’s hair, holding him close as the ball of his tongue ring massaged expertly every spot it touched. Blaine could hear himself making needy noises, but couldn’t stop himself. Kurt was sure in his movements and Blaine knew that meant he was sure that they were ready to make this next step. His sureness meant the world to Blaine, he knew it was Kurt’s way to show him he loved and trusted him. 

Blaine’s hands held tightly to Kurt’s shoulders needing the anchor. He was overwhelmed by emotion, desire, and Kurt. Before he knew what was happening, Kurt was climbing into his lap, never breaking the kiss, but bringing their bodies closer. 

When Kurt ended the kiss, it was only to move it down to Blaine’s neck, “I love you,” he whispered into Blaine’s skin. Kurt began sucking on the spot behind Blaine’s ear causing his brain to short circuit for a moment. 

When he finally regained control of his mouth he stuttered, “I… I love..you.”

Blaine could feel himself hardening, his cock trapped beneath Kurt’s beautiful ass. Kurt’s fingers caressed Blaine’s nipples sending a shock of arousal through him. Instinctively his hips bucked sending his erection rutting into Kurt from ass to cock. 

Above him Kurt’s actions stilled and for a fraction of a second Blaine was sure he was going to panic. Instead Kurt rolled his ass over Blaine’s cock in such a perfect way he couldn’t hold back a shocked, “Fuck.”

Kurt’s lips found Blaine’s again. His kiss was needy as his ass continued to work Blaine into a frenzy beneath him. Blaine could feel himself spiralling to his orgasm but couldn’t find it in himself to ask Kurt to stop. His hands had moved down to Kurt’s waist holding him tight. 

Suddenly Kurt stilled above him and pulled away from the kiss, panting. Blaine looked up at him, his eyes wide. Kurt’s eyes were closed, his breathing frantic. Blaine was about to ask if Kurt was okay when his eyes opened looking at him with large, lost eyes. 

“Wait,” he rasped, “I… this was supposed to slow and romantic… I wanted to make love to you, I wanted this to be different.”

Blaine cupped Kurt’s face, who leaned into the touch. “I was almost always making love to you Kurt. This… what we have has never been a casual fuck. I have always tried to show you how I felt with my body, I think you did, too. It doesn’t have to be slow and sweet to be about love. It just has to be us.”

Blaine leaned up and kissed Kurt gently. When he pulled back he said, “I never wanted it to end either, because even when I couldn’t tell you what I felt, I could show you, I could make you feel my love, and I never felt more cherished than when you were so focused on making me feel good.”

Kurt looked at him and his eyes softened. “You’re right but… I don’t want to come on your couch with my pants still on, do you?”

Blaine couldn’t help the laugh that barked out of him. “You’re right. Maybe we should move this to the bed.”

Blaine watched as Kurt shifted his weight off Blaine, until he was sitting beside him instead. He began toeing off his boots, “You are so smart, why do you think I love you?” he teased. 

“And here I thought it was my sparkling personality and sexy, young body.” Blaine teased back. 

Kurt’s voice was high and breathy when he said, “Well those are on the list, too. It’s a really long list.”

Now both barefoot, Kurt grabbed Blaine’s hand and stood. He backed his way to Blaine’s bed, not taking his eyes off Blaine, the coy smile Blaine first saw on Kurt so many months ago at Neverland firmly in place. Blaine licked his lips at the knowledge that he had no idea what Kurt would throw at him next. Just when he thought he had him figure out, Kurt would surprise him. He was sexy confident again, and Blaine loved that. 

When they reached the bed, Kurt sat and pulled Blaine to stand between his legs. Blaine expected to be pulled into a kiss, instead Kurt’s hands roved up his arms, feeling the muscles there before sliding them down his chest to the hem of his t-shirt. Blaine steadied himself with his hands on Kurt’s shoulders. Kurt was looking up at him, his eyes serious. 

“I love you,” Kurt hummed, rucking Blaine’s shirt up exposing his belly. He leaned forward peppering kisses across Blaine’s skin. 

Kurt paused his kisses only long enough to say, “Take your shirt off.”

Blaine pulled his shirt up over his head. As his head emerged from the confines of the fabric, he felt Kurt teasing at the waistband of his pants. Blaine husked, “Please.”

Slowly, Kurt pulled down Blaine’s pajama pants exposing his cock to the cool air of the room. He nuzzled his cheek against Blaine’s thigh, his nose brushing lightly against his shaft. Kurt placed a kiss in the crease of Blaine’s leg, then his eyes shifted to look at Blaine and asked, “Can we… is it okay if we don’t use a condom for this part?” 

“I was just tested last month, I’m healthy as always.” Blaine said, not able to let his mind grasp everything that Kurt was asking. 

“I know, we talked about that before, but is it okay?” Kurt asked again. 

Blaine could only nod for a moment, “Please,” he whined finally. 

Kurt’s tongue flicked out, and at first just the tip traced the vein up Blaine’s cock. When he reached the head, it circled its way around. Heat then engulfed the head as Kurt took just the tip in his mouth. Blaine couldn’t hold back his noises of delight at the sensation of Kurt’s mouth around him, hot and wet. The cool metal of Kurt’s tongue ring rolled into his slit pulling more sounds out of Blaine unbidden. Kurt sucked and slid his mouth lower and lower until Blaine could feel himself slipping down his throat. He had been blown before without a condom, however, he didn’t remember it being this amazing before. Kurt continued to bob and suck, using his tongue ring to make Blaine fall apart. His knees began to buckle, and he could feel his balls tighten. 

“Kurt!” Blaine warned. Kurt slowly pulled off. 

He looked up at Blaine, his lips red and wet. Blaine couldn’t resist. He straddled Kurt’s lap, kissing him, needing to taste himself on Kurt’s tongue. Blaine kissed him like it was the only thing keeping him alive; desperate and hungry. One of Kurt’s hands caressed Blaine’s hip, while the other cupped Blaine’s jaw. 

Blaine released Kurt’s lips but continued kissing Kurt’s face, ear, jaw, and neck. 

“You taste amazing.” Kurt rasped. “I’ve never…”

Kurt’s meaning became completely clear, and Blaine captured Kurt’s mouth once more. Apparently condoms were not something Kurt only insisted on for hookups. There was something alluring about knowing he was the first person he had felt comfortable enough to trust like that. 

When Blaine pulled back again, trying to catch his breath and leaned his forehead against Kurt’s, it dawned on him that while he was completely naked, Kurt was still fully dressed.  _ That will not do. _ Blaine thought. 

He opened his eyes, to see Kurt staring back into them. Eyes connected, Blaine reached for the buttons of Kurt’s shirt, popping them through their holes one by one until it slid off Kurt’s shoulders. He wanted to see all of Kurt, even more than he wanted to be close in that moment. Blaine pulled himself away from Kurt’s gaze and stood long enough to pull Kurt’s shirt off before resting on his knees between Kurt’s feet. Kurt looked down at him with hooded eyes as Blaine worked to unfasten Kurt’s pants. Kurt lifted his ass so Blaine could remove the last articles of clothing separating them. 

Blaine kissed his way up Kurt’s legs. When he reached his cock he paused. He wanted to take it in his mouth, bare for the first time, but he didn’t want to do it on his knees on the hard cold floor; he wanted to take his time and enjoy it. 

Blaine kissed lightly at the inside crook of Kurt’s leg before saying, “Scoot up on the bed.”

Kurt did as he was told and laid back with his head on Blaine’s pillow, his legs splayed. Blaine climbed on the bed, filling the space between Kurt’s legs. Although Kurt’s beautiful, hard cock was calling to be sucked, the rest of his body was calling to be worshipped. Blaine spread his body out on top of Kurt, lining them up perfectly, his focus intent on Kurt’s lips. Kurt’s arms grasped his shoulders as their tongues explored each other’s mouth, their bodies  undulating to an unheard rhythm. Blaine trailed kisses across Kurt’s face then pulled his earlobe into his mouth. Kurt cried out as Blaine moved to suck the spot behind his ear. He continued to move his mouth down Kurt’s body kissing, licking, nipping, and sucking as he went. He knew the spots that drove Kurt wild- the crook of his neck, his nipples, the line of his last rib, his hip bones- and made sure to lavish them with the attention they deserved, all the while listening to the delicious noises Kurt was making above him, spurring him on. 

Blaine’s body felt on fire. The flame started in the pit of his stomach, lighting his body ablaze with desire. He nosed the soft skin of Kurt’s hard leaking cock and asked, “This is okay now, right?”

Kurt gasped, “Please.”

Blaine looked up to see Kurt looking down at him, his eyes dark and awed. Blaine didn’t break eye contact as he licked a swipe up Kurt’s erection before gathering the precome onto his tongue. He relished in the taste as Kurt panted above him. Blaine couldn’t wait any longer and sunk his mouth over Kurt’s cock taking it as deep as he could go. 

“Oh my god!” Kurt cried above him. As much as Blaine loved sucking dick, Kurt’s noises made it even better. He was even more responsive than he had ever been with the condom between them.

Blaine continued to bob his head, then he snuck one hand between them, rolling Kurt’s heavy balls, while the other fisted the base of Kurt’s cock. His jaw ached with the effort and moved to caress Kurt’s perineum. Kurt’s hips bucked, sending his cock deeper down Blaine’s open throat, and Blaine’s finger brushed up against his hole. 

Kurt cried out in a mixed apology and pleasure. Blaine pulled off watching Kurt’s face as the teased lightly at his hole. Kurt’s head was thrown back, quivering and keening at the movement. 

“Is this okay?” Blaine asked, kissing Kurt’s legs but not taking his eyes off his face.  

Kurt stammered, “Yes.” 

Blaine sucked Kurt’s cock back in his mouth and continued to rub gently at his hole, all the while Kurt kept making the most beautiful noises. Blaine almost felt like he could come just from this, Kurt’s pleasure seeming  to double his own. 

Suddenly Kurt was batting at Blaine’s head stuttering, “S-stop!”

Blaine pulled off again, and Kurt’s eyes were closed, his face pained. 

“Are you alright?” Blaine asked sliding up the bed to see him better. 

“Just… just trying not to come,” Kurt gasped. 

Blaine traced the lines of music on Kurt’s arms, waiting for him to say when he was ready for more. When Kurt opened his eyes, his head lolled to one side looking at Blaine. His smile was lopsided as he whispered, “I love you.”

Blaine chuckled, kissing one side of that gorgeous smile, “I love you.”

Kurt rolled over mirroring Blaine’s position, he kissed him lazily for a moment, before throwing a leg over Blaine’s hip moving them closer together.  Kurt’s fingers soothed over Blaine’s tattoo, knowing each line without having to look. The kiss grew in intensity and then Kurt was pushing Blaine over on his back. Kurt sat up for a moment, fishing the lube out of the bedside drawer before turning his full attention on Blaine. 

Kurt kissed every inch of Blaine’s body, much in the same manner Blaine had done to him. Blaine just let himself be lost in the sensation of Kurt worshiping his body, kisses and nips punctuated with ‘I love you’s’. Soon Kurt was nudging Blaine’s legs apart, his wet finger caressing his hole. Blaine felt his body open up to Kurt’s ministrations. 

Blaine half expected Kurt to forgo the condom this time too, but he reached into the drawer to pull one out. Blaine’s face must have shown his question because Kurt said, “Easy clean up.”

Kurt rolled the condom on himself, slicking it with lube. He spread himself out on top of Blaine kissing him with so much emotion Blaine could feel tears in his eyes again. He pulled away and looked up at Kurt, his face open, showing all his feelings clearly. “I love you so much,” Blaine murmured.

Kurt cupped his cheek in one hand, “Love you too.” 

Blaine wrapped his legs around Kurt’s waist and Kurt only looked away to grip and steady his cock. His eyes met Blaine’s as he pierced him with his cock. Once Kurt was fully seated, Blaine feeling that fullness again after so long apart, they just stared into each other’s eyes for a moment. Kurt leaned down, and the kiss was so overwhelming, Blaine felt so full of emotions he felt he might combust right there. 

Slowly Kurt began to move his hips, drawing his cock out of Blaine’s body, only to slide back in causing every nerve in Blaine’s body to tingle, all the while their kiss never breaking. The slow build was almost too much for Blaine in its simplicity; just the drag of Kurt’s cock at his entrance and across is prostate in an unending loop. His head wasn’t swimming with barely caught breaths from being pounded into this time; his mind was clear, and he could feel every place Kurt was touching him with such clarity, everything seemed heightened.

It felt like hours that their bodies undulated together in that perfect, blissful way before Kurt broke the kiss and stared down at Blaine his eyes dark. “You are everything,” he whispered. 

“Kurt,” Blaine whined. 

Kurt seemed to know just what he needed and increased the speed of his thrust. He guided Blaine’s legs from around his waist until they were crossed and pinned between their bodies. The changes sent Kurt’s cock even deeper, and Blaine threw his head back in ecstacy. 

Blaine couldn’t move his hip to meet Kurt’s thrusts, he could only take and feel as Kurt began to pound into him just the way he craved. After the long, slow burn of desire, it was almost too much. Blaine’s body felt heighten in a way it never had before, and with Kurt fucking into him with such precision and passion, Blaine felt like he was spiralling in a vortex of rapture. His hand grasped at Kurt’s ass trying to pull him deeper. His fingers slipped down Kurt’s crack, meeting his hole. Kurt closed his eyes and shivered with pleasure. Kurt thrust harder into the heat of Blaine, and his mouth latched onto Blaine’s collarbone, sucking and marking the spot. 

It wasn’t long before Blaine felt completely out of control, pleasure and passion the only things he could feel besides Kurt’s perfect cock. Kurt was rasping words of love into his skin, barely audible over his own cries of bliss. 

“Please,” Blaine begged, not sure what he was asking for. 

Kurt tugged relentlessly at Blaine’s cock matching the rhythm of of his own hips. Blaine babbled half formed thoughts as he felt himself tipping over the edge. He squeezed his eyes against the onslaught of sensations, every fiber of his being acute and aware of each inch of Kurt’s body. 

“Kurt!” Blaine keened as stars burst behind his eyes, and his whole body sparked and he exploded with his climax before  going limp and pliant under Kurt’s body.

Kurt followed not long after collapsing onto Blaine’s prone body. Blaine felt like his head was floating, the only thing keeping him from drifting away was the weight of Kurt on top of him. When his mind began to clear, he became aware of three things: Kurt’s cock was no longer inside him, his legs were no longer crossed between them, and Kurt was gently kissing every inch of Blaine’s face that he could reach. 

Blaine opened his eyes, and Kurt pulled back to look down at him. 

“I thought I broke you for a second,” he whispered, his eyes concerned. 

Blaine huffed a single laugh, “I think I may have come my brains out.”

Kurt smiled down at him, his expression soft and loving. 

“Can we cuddle now?” Kurt asked. 

“Always,” Blaine assured him. 

“Can… Can I be the little spoon this time?” Kurt requested softly. 

Blaine pulled in a surprised breath, before saying, “Of course.”

Kurt rolled over onto his side, and Blaine wrapped his body around Kurt’s holding him tight against his chest. Kurt’s sigh of contentment was enough to bring a smile to Blaine’s face. Blaine held him close and Kurt drifted off to sleep. Blaine lay awake, his boyfriend, his lover, his everything in his arms, and thought about the road that lead them here. With Kurt relaxed in his arms, Blaine allowed himself to daydream about a future with him. In that moment it seemed in reach. 

  
  



	13. Chapter 13

Blaine let Kurt sleep for a few hours. He knew he must be tired after staying up to celebrate Christmas with his parents and then flying out to be with him. He just laid there holding Kurt in his arms, thinking about how they had gotten there. Nearly a year ago they had met, and to Blaine it almost seemed like a lifetime ago. 

Blaine would have let Kurt sleep as long as he needed to, but he was starting to get hungry and couldn’t bring himself to slip out of bed to get food for them while Kurt was sleeping. Not today, not without warning. Instead he pulled Kurt closer, kissed his cheek gently and whispered in his ear, “Kurt.”

Kurt snuggled in Blaine’s arms, and a contented hum escaped his lips, but he didn’t open his eyes.

“Kurt,” Blaine tried again. “Do you want to go with me to get food?”

Kurt turned over in Blaine’s arms and tangled their legs together. “No, let’s stay in bed. This is much nicer than going outside.”

Blaine chuckled, “It is, but I am starving. You can stay here if you want to. I don’t mind.”

Kurt opened his eyes and practically pouted, “It isn’t the same if you aren’t here.”

Blaine kissed the pout away. “I won’t be gone long, maybe half an hour. You want anything special?” 

“I’ll go with you. It isn’t fair to send you out in the cold alone,” Kurt said but didn’t make to move. 

Blaine kissed him again. When he pulled away he said, “We should go”

Kurt slowly got out of bed allowing Blaine to do the same. He was quiet as they got dressed but still shared sweet smiles with Blaine anytime he caught his eye. Blaine called the restaurant to place their order, and after they bundled up for the cold, they headed out the door. 

They walked through the streets of New York, hands clasped but not talking. Kurt waited outside the small restaurant while Blaine ran inside to pick up their food. As soon as Blaine emerged with two paper bags, Kurt took one bag and then took Blaine’s free hand in his own. 

“Can we talk about something?” Kurt asked, his voice small. 

Blaine looked over at Kurt’s worried face, and his heart thudded in his chest. “Anything,” he said sincerely. 

Kurt stared off in the distance. He could have been looking at the Christmas lights in a far off window, but Blaine knew he was thinking of how to say what he wanted to. He took a deep breath, “I want to try something, but… I’m… scared.”

Blaine squeezed his hand, trying to reassure him, while having no idea what he was talking about. He did feel better that Kurt was sharing his fears with him instead of running away from them. 

“What are you scared of?” 

“My reaction, not wanting it as much as I think I do.” Kurt said, eyes looking away from Blaine. 

“Kurt,” Blaine said pulling him to the side of the sidewalk and stopping until Kurt looked at him. “Please tell me what you are talking about.”

Kurt looked surprised, like he suddenly realized he hadn’t actually said what he wanted. 

“I want to bottom, I want to try anyway, but I’m afraid of what my reaction will be.” 

Kurt started walking again, and Blaine kept pace. He chose his words carefully. “First, I want to say, I am more than happy with what we are doing, what we have done. But… if this is something you really want to do, we can work up to it. And if it is something you can’t do, it’s okay.”

“The thing is,” Kurt said, sounding frustrated, although Blaine suspected it wasn’t at him. “Wanting to bottom, it isn’t something that I want often, there are just times, like earlier when I wanted nothing more. I don’t want my past to take that away.”

“What about earlier?” Blaine asked. 

“When I was in your lap, and your cock...” Kurt whispered even though they were alone. “All I could think was that I wanted you in me. And then you kept teasing me. I would have begged for it right then, but I knew it was something I needed to think about first. And that has been all I have been able to think about since.”

Blaine could feel his body heating up at the thought of being inside Kurt, and he squeezed his eyes shut trying to have a rational thought. 

“We can try, if that is what you want. I certainly won’t object. If you get uncomfortable or want to stop all you have to do is say the word. I don’t ever want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”

Kurt smiled shyly at him, “I trust you completely. There are just some things I don’t know if I can handle.”

“Then tell me,” Blaine appealed. 

Kurt took a centering breath. “Condoms are a must. I’m up for the discussion if you don’t want to use them when you bottom… but I’m not there yet. Not after…”

“Of course,” Blaine whispered. 

“I need to be able to see you, to know it’s you.” Kurt continued. “I think that is most important.”

Blaine couldn’t help but lean over and kiss Kurt’s cheek. “You know you could always be in control, if that would make it better.”

Kurt shook his head, “I don’t know, see when I  _ want  _ to bottom, it is because I want to give up control. I want to just feel and react. Plus, I want to give myself over to you. I mean if that is how it happens organically, then great, I just don’t want that to be the only way we can do it.”

“I think I understand,” Blaine nodded. 

Kurt looked away almost as if he was embarrassed. 

“You will have to go slow; it has been a long time. I haven’t been able to touch myself like that… not since… I haven’t wanted to.”

“Kurt, I promise, if we do this… I will take care of you,” Blaine said, stopping in front of his building. 

Kurt looked at him with fear in his eyes. 

“What if I can’t tell you to stop? What if I freeze and…”

“Hey,” Blaine cut him off gently. “I promise, if you are not enthusiastically into it, I would stop in a heartbeat. I love you, Kurt, and I would never do anything to hurt you.”

“I know, I know.” Kurt said ducking his head trying to hide his tears. Blaine let go of his hand to tilt his head so their eyes met and wiped the tears away. 

“I love you, Blaine. And I promise I want this.” 

“Why don’t we go upstairs and eat our food, and then we can see what happens. No pressure, no expectations, just us. Okay?” Blaine said pulling him into a sweet, gentle kiss. 

When they pulled back, Kurt said in a high, thin voice, “Okay.”

Upstairs they spread their food out on Blaine’s coffee table and left the conversation from outside. They talked about what they would do the next few days. Kurt had already taken the time off work and didn’t plan on letting them know he was actually in New York. They relaxed into the familiarity of each other as they shared their Christmas meal of Chinese take-out. 

As they were cleaning up the remnants of their food, Kurt asked, “Do you mind if I take a shower?”

“Of course not. A shower does sound great,” Blaine smiled. 

“I need to grab some things out of my bag. Why don’t you shower first?” Kurt asked, a hopeful look in his eye.

Blaine grinned at Kurt, “We could save water and shower together.”

Kurt’s laugh was genuine, but he said, “Not this time. I think I need a few minutes alone. I am not, however, averse to sharing many showers with you in the future.”

Blaine approached Kurt and took him in his arms kissing him firmly. When he pulled back he confided, “I understand. I’ll just be a few minutes.”

Blaine turned to walk away, but Kurt caught his wrist. His eyes were dark, and he purred, “Don’t bother with clothes after and… I’ll meet you on your bed.”

Blaine nodded with a blush. It amazed him the way Kurt could affect him with merely his words. How he could turn on a dime from being almost shy and insecure to bold and sexy in a moment’s time. He worked quickly in the shower, cleaning himself but not taking unnecessary time. He quickly dried himself, wrapped the towel around his waist and left the bathroom with his curls still dripping on his forehead. 

Kurt trailed his fingers across Blaine’s chest as he passed, his other hand full of toiletries. He gave Blaine a knowing smirk; seeing the effect he had on Blaine, he stepped in the bathroom then closed the door. 

Blaine removed his towel from his waist and quickly rung the rest of the water from his hair. He listened to the rattle of the pipes as they turned on and then settled himself under the covers of his bed. Blaine laid in bed listening to Kurt humming in the shower, the water falling, and resisted the temptation to touch himself at the images that danced in his head of Kurt’s body glistening, drops of water trailing over and across his tattoos. Blaine closed his eyes and focused on calming his erection down. 

The pipes rattled again, and the water shut off. Kurt’s humming continued and Blaine focused on that sound as he waited for the door to open. He heard the click of the door opening and opened his eyes. Kurt was walking towards him, naked and half hard. Blaine couldn’t pull his eyes away from his long limbs and toned muscles as they shifted, bringing Kurt closer to him. 

When Kurt reached the bed, he slid under the covers, brushing up against Blaine’s body teasingly. 

“That’s better,” Kurt sighed. 

Blaine scooted closer and pressed his forehead against Kurt’s and caressed his cheek. “You are so beautiful,” he murmured before kissing him long and deep. Kurt threw his leg over Blaine’s hips, pulling his body even closer with his foot. They lay on their sides kissing, their cocks brushing lightly, not yet trying to get each other off, but enjoying the feel of each other. Hands explored by feel alone, as they kissed. Kurt’s skin was impossibly soft after his shower and still slightly damp under his hand. Kurt was making delicious humming noises, which Blaine found himself instinctively harmonizing with his own low noises.

Blaine lost himself in the feel of Kurt’s body against his, not needing more in the moment than just to have Kurt against him, kissing him like he needed him to breathe. His hand smoothed its way to Kurt’s ass, gripping it, pulling him even closer. They rutted against each other, the not quite wet enough drag perfect in its own way. 

Kurt pulled back just enough to mewl, “Please,” against Blaine’s lips before diving back into the the kiss. Blaine guided Kurt onto his back and hovering over him, deepened the kiss. He ran his hand up Kurt’s side and used his thumb to tease Kurt’s left nipple. Kurt broke the kiss, throwing his head back with a long low moan. Blaine moved his mouth to Kurt’s neck, nibbling the juncture of neck and shoulder still teasing his nipple because he knew it drove him wild. Blaine kissed his way across Kurt’s shoulder to the music twinning around his arm. 

Blaine used his tongue to trace the lines, kissing each note. Kurt squirmed underneath him, pushing his hips up seeking friction. Blaine shifted his weight, letting Kurt rut against his hips, and he finally took Kurt’s nipple in his mouth. He flicked the nipple ring with his tongue knowing exactly how to drive Kurt mad. 

Blaine continued to lavish affection on Kurt’s body, sliding ever lower so he could kiss every inch of his torso. Soon he found himself kneeling between Kurt’s splayed legs, his long, thick, hard cock dripping precome, calling to be sucked. Blaine didn’t resist. He laved the salty juice as if it were ambrosia. Kurt cried out above him in pleasure, and Blaine had to pin his hips to the bed. He savored the honor of sucking Kurt’s bare dick; the taste, the feel of soft flesh sliding over hard, smooth tissue, the ache of his jaw trying to accommodate his girth. Blaine was losing himself to euphoria of making Kurt feel good when he felt Kurt batting at his head. He slid his mouth back up Kurt’s cock and looked up at him. He was holding the bottle of lube in his hand. 

Kurt panted a moment, trying to catch his breath looking at Blaine with dark eyes. “Make love to me,” he said breathlessly, his voice high with desire. 

Blaine was about to ask if he was sure, but the look in Kurt’s eyes was enough of an answer; his gaze was strong, sure, and filled with so much love and trust, Blaine was filled with the same sureness. 

Even though they had talked about it earlier, he still didn’t imagine that this would happen, not so soon. He felt the weight of trust Kurt was putting on him, and knew he would bear it gladly. 

Kurt placed his left foot on the bed, giving Blaine easier access. Blaine kissed Kurt’s knee as he popped the top on the bottle and coated two fingers. Blaine laid himself between Kurt’s legs, pillowing his cheek against the leg still on the bed. He traced Kurt’s hole with his wet fingers slowly watching the muscles contract and relax. He added more lube,  watching Kurt’s face intently, and he brought the finger back to his hole. He carefully pushed the finger in, meeting first resistance before it was pulled in. Kurt’s breath sped, but his lips turned up in a smile. Blaine twisted his finger, as he pulled out before pushing back in. 

When the motion became easier he pulled it out, before adding more lube and pushing back in with two fingers. Kurt whined above him, but before Blaine could worry, Kurt was pushing his ass down on Blaine’s fingers. He opened Kurt up, twisting, scissoring and pumping his fingers. Above him Kurt keened, “More! Please!”

Three fingers breached Kurt’s hole, and a low, deep growl filled the air. “Oh God! Perfect!” Kurt cried. Blaine used his fingers to ready Kurt, marveling at the effect it was having on the man he loved. He writhed above him, hands clutching his hair as Blaine’s fingers brushed nimble against his prostate. He continued opening him up, waiting for Kurt to show him he was ready. 

Kurt lifted his head off the pillow and looked desperately down at Blaine. 

“Please, I need you,” he whimpered, like he would be lost without Blaine inside him. 

While being so careful preparing Kurt, ensuring he was okay, Blaine had forced his own desire to the back of his mind. It came back in full force seeing the need in Kurt’s face. 

Blaine kneeled again, and reached over Kurt’s prone body to grab a condom. 

“Sit up,” he whispered. Kurt gave him a searching look but did as he was asked. 

Blaine took the pillows and arranged them to his liking. He placed two pillows against the wall and placed another flat at their base. “Lay back against those pillows with your ass here,” he told Kurt patting the edge closest to him on the bottom pillow. Like that Kurt was lounging back against the pillows, not prone, but propped and Blaine had access to his ass. It looked like the perfect position. Blaine rolled the condom down his own achingly hard cock. He kissed Kurt long and hard until Kurt relaxed under his hand. 

“I love you,” Blaine murmured against his lips before pulling back. 

Kurt looked at Blaine with amazement, “I love you, too.” He answered. 

Blaine gently pushed Kurt’s knees up and back, exposing his gaping hole once more. Kurt grabbed his knees keeping them spread as he looked at Blaine with those trusting, loving eyes, so dark with need. Blaine slicked his cock before gripping the base and guiding it to Kurt’s ass. Kurt’s eyes closed, and his head lolled back as Blaine began to push in. He slowly worked his way into Kurt’s body, pushing in, pulling back before pushing in again. Blaine watched Kurt’s eyes flutter with each movement until he was balls-deep  in Kurt’s magnificent ass. 

Blaine stilled trying to control his breathing and the overwhelming sensation of being inside Kurt. 

“I’m ready,” Kurt assured him after a few moments adjusting. 

Blaine huffed, “I need a minute. God, you are perfect. If I move now I might come.”

Kurt tried to laugh, but it turned to a moan at the slight movement. “We can’t have that before you really fuck me,” he teased with a smile. 

Blaine kissed the smile away until Kurt threw his head back as Blaine slowly pulled back. He kept his thrusts slow and even at first, still gauging Kurt’s reaction. His worries soon disappeared seeing Kurt’s reactions. He was by far the most expressive, vocal lover he had ever had, and he wasn’t shy about telling Blaine exactly how to make him feel good. 

“Oh, right there!” Kurt cried, fisting his own hair and exposing his neck to Blaine’s hungry mouth. The rub of Kurt’s prostate sent lighting bolts through his body. The hot squeeze of Kurt’s ass became the center of his universe, the taste of Kurt’s skin a blessing. 

Kurt’s legs latched around his waist, restricting his movement. 

Kurt whined, “Harder, faster.” 

Blaine grabbed one of Kurt’s legs and rested it on his shoulder, kissing the calf as he fucked in deeper, speeding his thrusts. He could feel the tendrils of his control waning but tried to focus on the tantalizing noises Kurt was making. 

“Blaine,” Kurt chanted, needing something but clearly unable to articulate it properly. 

Blaine slowed his hips for a moment, trying to give Kurt a chance to speak. 

“No!” Kurt begged. 

Blaine ran a hand down Kurt’s thigh as far as it he could. “What do you need?” he asked. 

“Touch me,” Kurt pleaded. 

Blaine couldn’t reach Kurt’s cock, one hand was supporting his weight, the other was trapped behind his leg. Blaine raised up on his knees, using one arm to lift Kurt’s hips, while the other hand grabbed his beautiful cock. Blaine renewed the vigor of his thrusts, pumping Kurt’s cock in tandem, going deeper than before. If the noises Kurt was making were anything to go by the change was welcome. Kurt babbled half formed moans and words, his body trembling as his head jerked with each thrust. 

Blaine could see he was close and let himself edge closer to his release. He felt like he was about to snap, but wouldn’t let go until Kurt had come. Kurt’s babbles morphed into Blaine’s name which became a mantra, egging Blaine on. With a shout, Kurt clamped hard around Blaine’s dick and came, like a nuclear blast, just before Blaine’s own orgamsm hit. Blaine’s mind was obliterated, and he stilled. He had just enough presence of mind to pull out of Kurt’s body and lowered it to the bed, before the collapsed beside him. 

They lay there spent, side by side, catching their breaths for a moment. Blaine disposed of the condom and grabbed a wipe from the bedside table. When he turned back to Kurt he noticed his body shaking with sobs, covering his face with his arm. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Blaine asked, carefully touching his shoulder. 

Kurt moved his arm, and Blaine didn’t see sadness there. “Nothing,” Kurt said amazement coloring his voice. 

Blaine quickly cleaned Kurt’s chest, layed back down and spooned behind Kurt, pulling him close.

“Talk to me, please,” Blaine whispered into his ear. 

Kurt wiggled closer. “It was perfect.  _ You  _ were perfect. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Kurt…” Blaine admonished. 

“I think I had my own emotional overload. It’s just… I was scared I would never have this. Not just bottoming but everything. I was scared for so long and I nearly let that fear lose you. I tried to push you away, but you are everything I need,” Kurt babbled. “Plus that was the best I have ever felt after bottoming.”

Kurt’s laughter, eased Blaine’s soul. “So, this wasn’t a one-time thing?” Blaine asked. 

Kurt rolled over so he was facing Blaine. His eye lashes were clumped together, but no more tears fell. “No, not a one time thing. I still prefer topping, but yeah… I think we will be doing that again.”

“Good,” Blaine said kissing him softly. “I love the way you take care of me, but sometimes I want to take care of you, too.” 

“Let me cuddle you,” Kurt said rubbing their noses together for a moment. 

Blaine rolled over and let Kurt wrap his arms around him. They lay there in silence, just basking in the moment. He could feel Kurt relaxing behind him, the weight of Kurt’s body resting more firmly against him. Sleep was laced in his voice when Kurt murmured, “I love you.” 

“I love you,” Blaine replied, unsure if Kurt was awake enough to hear him. It didn’t matter to Blaine if he did.  _ I have a lifetime to tell him,  _ Blaine thought. 

He laid there, sleep tugging at him, and thought about how far they had come. When he first spied Kurt from the dance floor he couldn’t have known just how much Kurt would shake his world to its core. Kurt nuzzled closer in his sleep, and Blaine drifted off to sleep thinking how happy his first one night stand had turned out.  

  
  



	14. Epilogue

The hum of the machine filled his ears, his eyes were closed, but he knew the sting of pain that was coming, still he winced when it landed on his finger. 

“You can’t back out now,” Kurt laughed from beside him. “I already got mine, so you have to go through with it, it’s only fair,”

“I thought you said that a deal was no reason to get a tattoo,” Blaine said giving him his best puppy dog look. 

Kurt just shook his head as he continued to work, “This wasn’t a deal, this was a sacred vow. There is a difference. Plus it will be over before you know it.”

Blaine tried to resist the urge to look at Kurt while he worked, but his eyes were drawn to where Kurt was holding his left hand still. Through Kurt’s glove he could almost discern the lines of the tattoo wrapped around his finger. He could also see what he knew were identical lines forming on his own finger accompanying the searing pain there. 

He watched as Kurt marked their bond on his body in the most permanent way they could think of. As he watched the lines form he thought back to how he had ended up in this chair in Kurt’s studio once again. 

It had all began just before they went back to Ohio. They had decided to go just after Kurt’s 31st birthday. Kurt wasn’t, however, the only one to receive a present that day. After a late-night  meal Blaine had cooked at his apartment, Kurt had gotten down on one knee and proposed. To say Blaine was shocked would be an understatement, but he didn’t have to think to know his answer. 

“Why today?” Blaine asked after Kurt had slipped the simple band on his finger. 

Kurt beamed at him and replied, “It was the best present to myself I could think of, getting to spend the rest of my life with you.” 

Blaine had kissed him again, feeling giddier than he ever had before. 

Burt and Carole had been thrilled. Blaine’s heart swelled when Burt had pulled him into a bear hug and said, “Welcome to the family.”

Blaine called Cooper,  who vowed to buy them a tapestry for a wedding gift. He had even made the trip to Westerville to tell his parents. His mother had nervously let them into the house, telling Blaine his father would be home any minute. Tears had filled her eyes when he told her he was getting married, but she quickly made excuses when he asked her to come. They didn’t stay to see his father. 

Kurt held him as he cried that night, feeling the loss of his parents once more. It was the only dark spot on the trip. 

The next six months were filled by so much planning. Neither were worried about the actual ceremony, only knowing they wanted an epic reception. Music, dancing, and food were all that mattered to them. The ceremony was for them, they wanted something intimate, but the reception was for anyone that had ever touched their lives. They only wanted to celebrate their bond. 

They also had to find another place to live. Luckily for them, just before the wedding when they were getting desperate to find a place that would be theirs, an apartment opened up on the floor above Kurt’s place. It was a roomy two bedroom apartment, with the perfect room for Kurt to paint and Blaine to work. 

The tattoo was Blaine’s idea. He wanted a permanent reminder of their commitment to each other. At first Kurt was reticent to get not only matching tattoos but wedding ring tattoos at that. 

“This is it for me, I wouldn’t be marrying you, if I wasn’t one hundred percent sure you are the love of my life. I want something that we can’t lose, that we can’t outgrow to show we are each other's for the rest of our lives,” Blaine told him. 

Kurt looked overwhelmed as he nodded, before kissing Blaine for all he was worth. 

The wedding had been the night before, something Blaine still hadn’t completely grasped had actually happened’ it still felt like a dream. In a small ceremony witnessed only by Kurt’s parents and Cooper they had exchanged vows, rings, and kisses. Afterwards they celebrated into the wee hours of the night with so many faces Blaine couldn’t recall who was there. 

“All finished,” Kurt said, and Blaine heard the pop of him removing his gloves bringing him back to the moment.

He looked down at his hand to see the simple knotwork winding around his finger. Kurt knowing just what he needed, held his own left hand next to Blaine’s. Seeing the tattoos together was almost like saying ‘I Do’ all over again. 

“I love you,” Blaine whispered, leaning in. 

“Love you too, husband,” Kurt murmured, kissing him. 

A groan interrupted them. When Kurt turned his head glaring, Elliott laughed, “Save it for the honeymoon!”

“Our flight leaves in the morning. I am not going to wait that long to kiss my husband. Why are you still here, anyway?” Kurt snarked. 

Elliott held his hands up in defense, “I’m your best friend, it is my right to give you a hard time. Besides I wanted to see how they turned out. Your tattoo is my work remember.”

“Only because Blaine refused to do it,” Kurt rolled his eyes. 

“You should be nicer to me!” Elliott pouted playfully. “Not only did I do your tattoo free of charge, but if it wasn’t for me, you two wouldn’t even be here.”

Kurt scowled at his friend, “What do you mean?”

“Remember, I’m the one who almost forced you to go dance with him,” Elliot said with a smirk. 

Blaine made a note to send a big thank you to Elliott. No one could have realized that night so long ago, how much a dance could change their lives. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for coming with me on this journey. I promise you won't have to wait 2 years for the next one. I have 2 more I am actively writing and several that have been started that I am excited about again! Thank you for all your reviews and encouragement. They have meant a lot!


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